


Ulrich

by lunesolei



Series: List [1]
Category: Code Lyoko
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family, Friendship, Gen, Growing Up, Het and Slash, M/M, Minor Character Death, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 15:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 51,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunesolei/pseuds/lunesolei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here-in lies the twenty-five things Ulrich is unlikely to mention. Will contain het and slash as well as friendship and growing up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. List

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I do not own Code Lyoko or anything else recognizable.
> 
> **Title:** List
> 
> **Warnings:** There will be both het and slash within this chapter and insuing chapters.
> 
> **Rating:** T (for kissing and slash themes)
> 
> **Author's Note:** Well...I thought I'd lost my muse for CL, but apparently not. I know that things like this have been done before, but I got an idea and had to write it. This is something I've been working on for a few months now. This chapter will be the List, and then 25 chapters will follow, varying in length, on the subject of each number. Does that make sense? Please let me know what you think. Also, this was originally posted at ff.net.

1\. Ulrich ran away from home twice.

2\. He was four when he learned his father favored Annie over him.

3\. If he didn't have a twin, he wouldn't have a sister.

4\. Indirectly, it was because of Elisabeth Delmas that he learned the irony of his name.

5\. He was six when he met Eli.

6\. His name is actually Charles Ulrich Stern III (but the only thing to acknowledge that is his birth certificate).

7\. Kiwi was the first dog he liked.

8\. Odd liked to call his father "Adolf" or "Hitler" behind closed doors and smirked lips.

9\. His first kiss was with Eli at the age of eleven, the day before she left for France.

10\. He was fifteen when he decided he wanted to be a doctor (it's also the day he got drunk the first time).

11\. He  _really_  hates Sissi (but not Eli).

12\. Contrary to the popular belief amongst his friends, his father has only hit him once – at his twelfth birthday party.

13\. He relishes the time spent fighting monsters on Lyoko.

14\. He and Yumi make it into the Kadic Chronicle together three times.

15\. He kissed three girls and two boys by the time he turned sixteen.

16\. Out of all of the adults in Ulrich's life, he thinks he's closest to Jim.

17\. Odd may come up with the pranks, but Ulrich comes up with how to do them.

18\. It's an unofficial ritual, meeting up with Emily for a Sunday morning hike through the forest, but it's one he looks forward to constantly.

19\. Sometimes he has to stifle laughter when Jeremie harps about Lyoko-and-XANA being secrets, doesn't the blonde realize by now that secrets are his specialty?

20\. He never says it aloud, but he envies Aelita.

21\. Annie's first boyfriend broke her heart, Ulrich broke his face (neither mentioned the police station after).

22\. He attended two funerals his seventeenth year.

23\. He keeps a journal so he won't go crazy.

24\. Some days he regrets ever getting involved with Jeremie-Lyoko-XANA.

25\. It took four accidental kisses for Ulrich to realize he and Odd were not-just-friends but maybe-possibly-legitimately- _dating_.


	2. Running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Parental negligence? I don't know.
> 
>  **Rating:** G
> 
>  **Author's Note:** So here's the first "real" chapter. Once again, please let me know if you like it/hate it/are indifferent to it. Thanks.

_1\. Ulrich ran away from home twice._

He was nine the first time he ran away from home with a backpack full of their housekeeper's fresh bread, four apples, two carrots, and a bottle of water. It was spring and the snow was mostly melted. He struck out for the woods that backed up to his house shortly after his father left for work, hours before his mother woke, and behind their housekeeper's back while she fussed with the faulty stove.

He spent the morning looking over his shoulder and jumping at snapped twigs. But he didn't hear the dogs, and he didn't hear the calls of anyone looking. By midday he had his jacket tied around his waist and was walking openly near the stream.

He was gone for three days before he ran out of food and was forced to return. It was misting enough to leave him wet and covered in slush and mud. He left his shoes at the backdoor and crept in quietly. It was an hour before his father got home, three after his mother woke, and their housekeeper was chopping carrots for supper. His sister was coloring at the counter. The only ones to make a fuss over his return were the housekeeper and Annie.

If he's honest with himself, they still are.

The second time was more thought out, stealthier.

He spent weeks plotting and planning his move; researched the area, the environment, the society. Two weeks into it, he had found the place he wanted to go: France. Five days later he had narrowed down the search between Kadic Academy: School of Arts, Sciences, and Academics or Lycée Lakanal. They're both far enough away, both boarding schools, but Lakanal wasn't strong on sports and Kadic had a forest instead of a park next door. Now all he had to do is convince his parents Kadic was better than the Independent Bonn International School.

Annie found the papers and application folded in his pillow and frowned. "I don't get it," she complained while she helped him with his admission essay. "Why  _France_?"

"Because," he answered. Her eyes narrowed but she dropped it and kept her mouth shut and he was grateful.

He got his admission letter four weeks after his twelfth birthday. Annie cried, his mother frowned and summoned Heidi for more wine. His father studied the letter hard and then nodded. "Good for you, finally applying yourself I see. A shame it had to follow such dismal circumstances. Hannelore, stop sobbing your brother is finally doing something right."

Ulrich thought he should feel proud, instead all he felt was relieved.


	3. Favored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings:** Parental negligence? I don't know.
> 
> **Rating:** G
> 
> **Author's Note:** I attempted to make this chapter longer but I think I failed. However the next chapter will definitely be longer.

_2\. He was four when he learned his father favored Annie over him._

He got his first football on his fourth birthday. He remembers the day because of the itchy grey wool suit he was forced into; the tie that Heidi had nearly strangled him with. He remembers feeling jealous over the light green dress Annie twirled around in, brown hair in artificial ringlets and both of them in shiny black shoes. It wasn't fair that she could play in her clothes while his tried to choke him.

After supper and cake (chocolate with white frosting - Annie's favorite) they gathered in the parlor because Mother wasn't feeling well (again) and Father wanted her to be comfortable. The marble coffee table was piled high with sparkly wrapped presents stacked higher than his head. Annie got to open hers first (Annie always got to go first). He played with a tin soldier on the parquet floor and waited for his turn.

It was the fourth present he opened (and the first that wasn't clothes or more soldiers), after Annie got a new doll (and dress and playhouse and stuffed rabbit and hair bow and-and-and). Father frowned at it and Mother shook her head. "Who's it from?" she asked.

Their housekeeper leaned in to pick up the discarded card. "Your brother, Christoff, Ma'am," she read.

(" _Figures,_ " Father had muttered while Mother glared at him.)

He grabbed the ball from the tissue paper and tossed it to Annie (" _Catch_!" he'd shouted belatedly) who wailed when it hit the porcelain instead.

"Don't throw-!" his father had begun.

But the damage was done and the pretty pale face with the creepy big eyes had a not-so-pretty crack along the cheek and the tip of the nose chipped off. Annie cuddled the doll to her chest and wailed like her own face was breaking off into pale dust. His mother made shushing noises from the chaise while his father picked up the ball and glared down at his son.

"Heidi!" he had snapped. The housekeeper approached silently, took the white-and-black ball in her weathered hands. "Keep it in the garage, out of sight." Heidi disappeared as she had entered – a shadow on the paneled wall.

"Until you're older," Father had instructed. "Until you can follow directions and use your brain." He felt the tears well up and his father glared at him. "Don't cry, boy. Have some spine."

Their father picked up Annie to take her for another slice of cake and he still resents it.


	4. Twins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Parental negligence, cursing.
> 
> **Rating:** PG
> 
> **Author's Note:** Okay, as promised, it is longer than the last ones. As always, please give me your thoughts and thank you for reading.

_3\. If he didn't have a twin, he wouldn't have a sister._

Back when he went to a normal school like a normal kid in a normal town, he hated the questions that always came up.  _I thought twins looked alike_  and  _why aren't you both girls or boys_  and _what's it like to be a twin?_  He hated it as a kid because he always had to share his birthday with Annie, always.

He was twelve and home from his first semester at Kadic when he (maybe) realized he liked having a twin. When he saw her for the first time after three months of being away he couldn't help but hug her tight, mess up her hair, and then slug her in the arm when he realized she was in his favorite sweatshirt – the one that mysteriously disappeared the night before he left for school.

"That's mine," he informed her (though he knew she knew).

"I look better in it," she retorted (which was true).

. . ... . .

He was fourteen and not eavesdropping on the sloping roof outside his parents' open window the week before he returned to school. He wasn't anyway; until he heard their names come up. "Think the boy will do something right this year?" his father questioned.

"He will be fine," his mother replied.

"Kid needs a good boot up his ass," his father grumbled. There was a clink of glass and ice. "Kid's a waste, good thing we have Hannelore to be proud of. Think we could fit a Baby Grande in the parlor for her?"

His mother's voice didn't come for several minutes. "I think you should watch who you favor, Carl," she said finally.

His father ignored her, like always. "Told you two kids were worth it, Adelaide. Got to have a spare one around so you aren't constantly disappointed."

"You wanted a boy, Carl, remember?" Adelaide questioned. Ulrich chanced a peek and saw her brushing her chestnut hair at her vanity. His father leaned against the fireplace mantle and sipped his scotch.

"I wanted a son to carry on the family name and be proud of. If I had known what the boy would turn out like I wouldn't have wasted the time."

Ulrich felt his throat clench and leaned against the stone window out of sight. "Well, at least the family name will be carried on," his mother said finally. He heard the brush settle on the marble vanity top. "And he has his accomplishments…"

His father snorts. "If only Hannelore had been a boy…" he sighed.

His mother hummed as she approached the window to shut it for the night. She paused at the sill to stare out at the dark trees. "There's no use wishing, Carl. Or regretting. Just be thankful that they were twins. If it had just been him I would not have tried for the second child," she announced. The window shut with a thud.

. . ... . .

Now, when they're caught in a quiet moment sitting on a tree branch meters from the ground and watching the movers try and get the Baby Grande through the front door, he thinks he doesn't mind it so much. He sees in her eyes that maybe she knows too, maybe she's known for a while and he's just figured it out, and he feels his throat tighten at it all. At all the maybes and what-ifs and could-have-beens and could-I-have-survived-seventeen-years-alones. He bumps her shoulder and she smiles with her brown eyes laughing and he's actually pretty damn grateful that he has her in his life (he doesn't think he's ever told her).

"You really going to study in New York?" he asks. He wants to say "don't" and "I'm sorry I left you" and "I love you" but he thinks (hopes) she understands anyway.

"Yes," she replies. He shifts and she bumps his shoulder back. "Don't go all  _big brother_  on me now. It's a little too late for that." He laughs while her hair flops in her eyes like always and her left ear has five piercings (he wonders when that happened). "You still headed off to Scotland?"

"Yeah," he agrees slowly. "Edinburgh." She nods and her head settles on his shoulder. They watch the moon shine and the stars twinkle through the latticed branches and they simply exist for a while.

"Fuck but it'll be great to get away from here for good, huh?" Annie asks.

"Yeah," he sighs. He kisses her hair and misses her already

Even if she does still steal his sweatshirts.


	5. Names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Nothing
> 
>  **Rating:** G
> 
>  **Author's Note:** Shortest chapter so far. Not much else to say. Thank you to those who have read this and I hope you're enjoying it.. :)

_4\. Indirectly, it was because of Elisabeth Delmas that he learned the irony of his name._

It was a combination of curiosity and competition that got the best of him one late summer afternoon. He was at Eli's and the book was left enticingly on the coffee table. Eli was boasting about her math skills (at seven she was already learning multipliers and long division) and he wanted to one-up her in any way he could. So he chose reading.

"Elisabeth," he read from the abandoned book. "Hebrew -"

"I'm French, stupid," she snapped. The German consonants still came out soft because of her accent. "You're reading wrong." She tossed her shiny black hair over a shoulder and looked down her nose at him.

"Am not," he retorted. "Your name's Hebrew. Meaning,  _God is my oath_." He paused and flipped pages. "Mignonette, stupid name," she protested and he ignored her, "French, means  _favorite or darling_."

Eli grinned at the revelation of her middle name. If they were honest, neither of them was really surprised. "Now do you," she instructed. "Then we'll play outside."

He flipped pages again obediently, going alphabetically, eyes scanning the tiny printed words. They were a lot smaller than the ones in school. "Charles, German,  _free man_." More pages turned. "Ulrich," he read, "English, means  _wolf ruler_." He ignored the snide comment about his fondness for the woods. Obviously she was spending too much time around Annie.

"Mine's better," Eli announced. "Let's play, come on." She leapt to her feet and ran through the open door, laughing and calling his name.

He tossed the book on the coffee table and followed her into the garden. They played adventurers and explorers, picked blue cornflowers from Mrs. Klein's garden for Annie to make her feel better about having chicken pox (all three were disappointed when they learned Annie  _wouldn't_  be gaining feathers), and he forgot about the weird name-book Eli's mother seemed permanently attached to lately.

Years later, when he's lying on his bed, drowning in the knowledge that no matter how much he studies it'll never be enough, he'll think back on that summer day and the bitter taste of irony will flood his mouth. " _Free_ ," he'll grumble before throwing the textbook at the closet door.


	6. Eli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Er...maybe prejudice over church? Otherwise nothing.
> 
> **Rating:** G
> 
> **Author's Note:** New chapter! This one's longer than the previous one but I don't think it's the longest yet. Thank you again to all who have taken the time to read this. I hope you enjoy.

_5\. He was six when he met Eli._

The new girl wore a poofy pink dress and her hair hung in shiny black ringlets. She didn't hold her mother's hand but stayed close to her side nevertheless. Ulrich and Annie hung back, watching her.

"Children, why don't we leave you to make your acquaintances?" Adelaide asked. "Gisela, why don't we retire to the veranda and let the children play?"

"Yes, that sounds pleasant," the girl's mother replied. "Be good, Sweetheart."

"My name's Elisabeth, but only Daddy calls me that," the black haired girl announced once their mothers were out of earshot.

"What do you call yourself?" Annie asked. Out of the two of them she'd always been more outspoken. Her wide brown eyes peered through her chestnut bangs at Elisabeth curiously.

"Eli." She pronounced it as  _Ellie_. "I'm six."

"I'm Annie. This is my older brother, wanna play with my dolls?"

"You talk funny," he interrupted. Both girls looked at him funny. "Your words are weird," he tried to explain, turned to Annie to see if she noticed. "She sounds funny."

Eli glowered at him but her face turned red. "I don't sound funny," she replied. "I talk good.  _You're_  weird." She and Annie went off to play and he was left to kick around his football in the backyard. He ignored her for a year.

He learned later that she was  _French_ (his mother made a clucking sound as though it was  _the worst thing_ ). Eavesdropping, he learned that her father had lost his job and they were living with her mother's mother, Mrs. Klein who lived down the street. He remembers Mr. Delmas as a kind man who smelled like pipe tobacco and the peppermints he sucked to cover up the fact that he hadn't quit; Mrs. Delmas as spirited and carefree. She wore a pink ribbon in her fair hair and liked to bake cookies every Sunday after Church (his father had frowned when he learned the Delmas's were Protestant and not Catholic).

Mr. Delmas went away often on job hunts but when he was around he liked to give gifts. Eli got toys and frilly dresses that she and Annie would play Tea Party in. Mrs. Delmas would receive flowers and cloth-covered notebooks. Eli's grandmother would sit and watch with hooded eyes and hands clasped on her cane. At six, Ulrich got the feeling that Mrs. Klein disapproved. At seven he thought it was because she never got any presents brought to her. At eleven, he thought it was because she saw it as spoiling her granddaughter.

At sixteen he knows it's because she knew her daughter and what would happen.


	7. Charles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Kissing? Left slightly ambiguous so you can decide who he's kissing.
> 
> **Rating:** PG
> 
> **Author's Note:** Woo, a longer chapter! I kind of like this one best so far so I would like to hear your thoughts. Thanks again to all who have taken the time to read this!

_6\. His name is actually Charles Ulrich Stern III (but the only thing to acknowledge that is his birth certificate)._

From the time he could talk (two weeks after Annie, but he was walking a full month ahead of her) his father simply called him "the boy" or "boy." One of his earliest memories is of the overstuffed leather chair in his father's office. Seated there, with his bare feet dangling, and his father looking at him across the wide expanse of the mahogany desk. "Papa, why you don't call me by my name like with Hannelore?" he asked. He wanted to swing his feet but he'd gotten in trouble for that in the past.

His father's face pulled together, eyebrows furrowing and eyes turning hard. "Charles is an important name, boy," he said. He poured more scotch over the ice in his glass. "You need to grow into it, like I did. I'll call you it when you've earned it."

At sixteen-almost-seventeen, he wonders if he'll still be "the boy" or if it'll change to "the man" in another year.

His mother never called him Charles (just like she never called his father Charles). She felt it was too formal and instead called him Charlie.  _These are the twins, Charlie-and-Annie_. She said it in one breath, a cute sing-song to their names, a repressed gag impulse that no five-year-old should be familiar with. " _Char_ lie!" she would call from her room. " _Char_ lie!" she would summon from the chaise. And each time he would stand next to her prone form, hands clasped together while she studied him. "So serious, Charlie. Smile more, like Annie. Charlie is a good name, for a good boy." She sighed when his face remained drawn. "Go fetch Mommy a wet cloth, she has a headache again." Charlie was a good boy, so he did.

It was after the afternoon at Eli's and the reading of the book that he changed his name. "Why?" Annie questioned over-and-over. She didn't get it.  _Char_ lie was stupid, Charlie was a little kid who disappointed his father and bathed his mother's face when she was too sick to do it herself. Ulrich was cooler; Ulrich was a king of wolves and wild things. He liked Ulrich better.

"Because," he replied each time.

"That's stupid," Annie repeated. "I'm not going to change my name to Liesel." Two days later and she was the one defending his name change to their father ("But  _Papa_ , you don't go by your name either," she protested.

"That doesn't matter, Hannelore," their father argued, but he let it go.)

Ricky is the name he likes least, or most. He isn't sure some days. Odd started it two months into their acquaintance, calling him it to annoy him, or when he was annoyed with him. "Don't be such a downer,  _Ricky_." Three weeks later it morphed into teasing. "Does little Ricky have a little crush on Yumi?" A year later and it's a joke between them, throwing the hacky sack back and forth across the divide between their beds. "Good thing you play soccer, you suck at throwing, Ricky." And Ulrich can't find it in himself to care as much as he used to.

His favorite name, though, can be found in the pauses between kisses. The slightly chilled fingers pressed against the back of his neck. The momentary pant of " _Rick_ " which devolves into snickers on both their ends, foreheads pressed together as their shoulders shake. "You are most definitely  _not_  a Rick," he is informed. And when Ulrich trails kisses down the pale neck (the one that fascinates him whether awake or asleep) he's rewarded with a drawn out moan of " _Char_ les" and maybe he doesn't mind his  _real_  name as much anymore.


	8. Kiwi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Nothing really, maybe a bit of language.
> 
>  **Rating:** PG
> 
>  **Author's Note:** Just wanted to say that I love Kiwi...but we all know Ulrich's thoughts on the dog. Anyway, thanks to everyone for reading!

_7\. Kiwi was the first dog he liked._

Growing up they had three: his father's two hunting dogs and his mother's yappy lap dog. The hounds were all slobber and big feet. They liked to knock him over and drooled on his legs during meals. The Shih Tzu growled when he entered the room, snapped at his toes if he walked too close, and left a permanent scar on his chin when he was three.

When Odd showed him the stowaway in his luggage, Ulrich couldn't stop the groan and wince that accompanied the revelation. Another dog to be a nuisance, as if the owner wasn't bad enough. "Lighten up, buddy," Odd had laughed. "Don't worry, Kiwi's the best little diggity-dog you're ever going to meet."

"Just keep him out of my stuff," Ulrich retorted. He put his earbuds in and flopped back on his bed to text Annie.

The first time they went to class and left the dog behind it chewed through two of Ulrich's notebooks and got hair all over his second-favorite sweatshirt (he couldn't find his favorite, even though he  _knew_  he'd packed it). "Sorry, man. Kiwi's never done that before to my stuff," Odd apologized. In fact, Odd's side of the room was left untouched by the dog.

Ulrich contemplated reporting the dog to Jim.

A month into their acquaintance and Ulrich woke to Kiwi pissing on the science project he spent a week on (and was due in two hours). Without thinking he kicked the dog out and dumped the project in the trash. He grabbed his jacket, pulled on a pair of jeans, and took his phone as he headed out to the forest. He didn't  _run away_  like Odd accused, he just  _disappeared_  for a while.

"This is the last straw, Odd," Ulrich growled. He shook his cleats in Odd's face. "Your mutt has chewed through enough of my stuff."

"Maybe he just likes you?" Odd reasoned. "Can't imagine  _why_ ," he added in a mutter.

Ulrich glowered at him. He stuffed his duffle bag with clothes he wouldn't need and schoolwork he wouldn't look at. "When I get back I want that thing  _gone_." Odd spluttered. "Or I'm telling Jim and Delmas."

"Shove it,  _Ricky_ ," Odd snapped. "I'll take him home with me. Don't want to upset your delicate sensibilities, do we now?" Ulrich punched him in the face and Odd got in a jab to the gut and an elbow to Ulrich's eye before Ulrich's phone beeped a warning. "Don't want to miss your train, do you?"

Ulrich slammed the door hard enough to turn heads.

He returned to school after their first holiday home half expecting to have been reassigned to a new roommate. Surprisingly he wasn't, and (not-so) surprisingly the dog was still there. Odd was out but Kiwi was sitting on his bed. The dog looked up when he hurled his duffle bag across the room. It knocked over Odd's desk chair and a lamp. With a whoosh he collapsed onto his bed and flung an arm over his eyes. Heidi's black forest cake, his mother's disappointed frown, Annie's chattering, and his father's voice still echoing from across the mahogany desk…

He became aware of a warm body settling in against him, a tongue lapping at the hot tears (not) streaking down his face. "Go away," he groaned at the dog. But Kiwi stayed and he found himself petting the little mutt against his will. "Persistent, aren't you?" he questioned. "Just like your owner. You're lucky you're a dog, you've no expectations to meet, besides not eating my things."

When Odd returned after dinner he found Ulrich sound asleep, an arm flung over Kiwi and his dog watching his roommate intently. He paused, confused and half-expecting Ulrich to rage about the dog still being here (he hadn't been able to leave Kiwi behind with his sisters after all).

He was even more surprised when afterwards Ulrich didn't seem to mind Kiwi anymore.


	9. Hitler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Let's go with references to Nazis/Hitler annnnd the Nazi Salute, there may be language too but I don't think so.
> 
>  **Rating:** PG-13
> 
>  **Author's Note:** Ooh, a long chapter of basically nothing exciting happening! Also, I have tried repeatedly to get it left-aligned but it keeps showing up centered when I preview it. So I don't know.

_8\. Odd liked to call his father "Adolf" or "Hitler" behind closed doors and smirked lips_.

It started the first time he met him.

"Your father's practically Hitler reincarnated," Odd grumbled late that first night.

"Odd…" Ulrich groaned. They were in Ulrich's room and the clock read something between one and two in the morning. Ulrich shifted on the floor but remained silent.

"It's the eyes, I think. And the accent, but I guess that's a coincidence, huh? And definitely the personality, does he  _ever_ smile? ("around Annie," Ulrich mumbled into his pillow but Odd didn't hear or notice) When you were standing there in that study I almost expected you to salute him.  _Heil Hitler_  and all that jazz."

"Shut-up, Odd. Don't say that too loud around here."

Odd ignored him. "I mean, if you were at my place I would  _not_  be letting my parents make me give up my bed," Odd continued. He leaned over the edge of Ulrich's bed to study him.

"It's called manners, Odd, go to sleep."

"But, now, I don't know a whole lot of German, but what I caught…you just let him talk to you like that?" he pushed.

"He's my father, Odd. It's his right. Good  _night_ ," Ulrich snapped. The lump of blankets turned over and Odd rolled back over.

It  _was_  a comfortable bed, but he didn't get much sleep.

. . … . .

The first time Yumi heard the affectionate nickname was the week after summer vacation, on the way to drag Jeremie away from the super computer yet again. She frowned at both of them. "That isn't nice for you to say. He's your best friend, isn't he?" she demanded.

"You call your brother Gollum, don't you?" Odd protested.

"Yes, but he's my  _brother_ ," Yumi retorted. She looked to Ulrich for backup, but he merely shrugged in response.

"I don't really see the big deal," Ulrich replied. Odd looked up in surprise, it was the first time Ulrich had actually acknowledged the nickname. A slow smile spread across his face and Yumi stared at them both incredulously. "Sissi thought it was funny."

"That should show you…Wait, why would Sissi know that was funny?" Yumi demanded.

. . … . .

"Mommy-dearest or Adolf?" Odd asked as the door slammed shut.

"What?"

Odd glanced up from his videogame and shrugged. "Usually that much anger is reserved for the parental figures. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing." Ulrich kicked off his shoes and grabbed a towel. "I'm hitting the showers."

"Don't break anything!" Odd called as the door slammed shut again.

. . … . .

"What do you want?"

"What do you know of Hitler?"

Sissi opened the door wider and he slipped inside. "We're talking Charles Stern, not Adolf Hitler, right?" she asked. Odd nodded and she shrugged as she sat down on her bed. She rested her chin on her knees and was silent. "Not a whole lot anymore," she admitted.

"What did you know?"

"He was…hard." She frowned, thinking, and Odd took a seat on the vanity chair. "He was very strict, very set in his ways. I think he still is, from what I've seen. He favored Annie and Ulrich was never good enough." She paused and her eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"Just…trying to understand a few things."

He wasn't sure what he looked like, but suddenly Sissi's face relaxed and she gave him a look bordering on sympathetic. "You won't," she promised. "But get Ulrich to tell you about how he wound up at Kadic and you may start to."

Odd didn't know what to say to that (so he left).

. . … . .

Jeremie's eyes widened when he heard Odd casually announce, "Adolf's visiting Ulrich next week. Don't bother him until he's gone."

"Odd!" he exclaimed, looking around nervously. "You don't just joke about things like that!" It didn't seem to matter that they were in an abandoned factory that no one knew about.

"Just don't rile up Ulrich, he's brooding already," Odd replied with a shrug.

. . … . .

At fifteen he comes back home after visiting his parents looking haunted. The others watch him carefully as he sits listless in class, fumbles on the football field, and develops a sudden fascination with selective mutism. "What's wrong with Ulrich?" Aelita questioned quietly. She watched Ulrich scribble in a notebook at a table across the library from them. "Winter holiday was just last week; shouldn't he be happy and relaxed not…this?"

"He visited Hitler, of course he's not okay," Odd replied.

"The former German dictator?" Aelita asked, confused. "Don't you mean his grave?"

"Nah, his father." He left it at that and grabbed his stuff. "Hey, ready to get some chow?" he called. Madam Martin made a shushing noise from the front desk as Odd persuaded Ulrich to head to the cafeteria.

Yumi and Jeremie spent two hours explaining Odd's  _quirk_  for nicknames.

. . … . .

They're sixteen and lying on Ulrich's bed; behind the closed and locked door (his father is probably searching for the spare key Ulrich stole from his desk drawer last vacation). The ceiling is decorated with darts and taped up images of football stars and distant places. It's surprisingly cluttered compared to the bare walls (Ulrich's never bothered to explain how his father never bothers to look up around him).

"Your father's a Nazi," Odd murmurs into his ear. "How did you live here all these years?"

Sometimes (like now) he thinks he should defend his father, but the words never come out right.

"Yeah, he is," he agrees.

 


	10. First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Kissing?
> 
>  **Rating:** G
> 
>  **Author's Note:** And now a short chapter! Don't you love when chapter length is broken up?

_9\. His first kiss was with Eli at the age of eleven, the day before she left for France._

She had a crush on him, they'd both known since they were nine and their mothers would joke that one day they'd be attending their wedding. So it only seemed fitting that on their last day together he kissed her. Her lips were sticky and tasted like honey from her chapstick. It wasn't unpleasant, but it didn't give him heart palpitations or make him see stars.

Eli blushed all the way to the roots of her black hair and her eyes blinked rapidly at him. "Why?" she asked softly. It was no secret that he'd told her he wasn't interested over-and-over for two years.

"I might not see you again," he replied. Her smile lit up her face and she kissed him again. It still didn't make the world spin faster, but it was nice and it made her happy, so he kissed her back. All things considered, he didn't mind it. Until Annie rounded the corner and teased them relentlessly that is.

"Eli and Ulrich sitting in a tree," Annie chanted all afternoon.

"Stuff it, Hannelore," he growled.

"I hope you like pink," she taunted. "Eli's always wearing it. You'll have to wear it too."

"Eli doesn't like pink." He lounged on the sofa and flipped channels

"Doesn't matter, her mother does and Papa says you always need to respect grown-up decisions."

"Shut-up," he snapped.

"You'll have a pink wedding I bet. Papa won't be happy, he doesn't like Protestants." Annie hung upside down from the sofa and made kissy faces at him.

"Well, that doesn't matter. Get up," Ulrich snapped. He pushed her legs over and she fell to the rug with a thump and an oomph. "Eli and I aren't anything so you can stop singing." Annie glowered as she picked herself up from the floor. "She's just my friend."

"Fine," Annie sighed. She curled up in the armchair and braided her hair. "But I'm still gonna be a bridesmaid at you guys's wedding."

"Shut-up, Annie."

Now, every time Jeremie makes a snide comment on Sissi's IQ, or Odd humiliates her for hoping that Ulrich is interested in her, or Yumi laughs each time Sissi's face falls from rejection, or Aelita rolls her eyes and hides a smile at Sissi's latest attempt, Ulrich remembers that day. Remembers the hope in her eyes, the same hope he sees dying each time he tells her no, and he can't help but wonder if that kiss is the reason she keeps coming back.

And if he's being honest, he knows he resents himself because of it.


	11. Hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Cursing, some punching, hospitals?
> 
> **Rating:** PG-13
> 
> **Author's Note:** So, this is my longest chapter to date. I would edit, then add, then edit what I added, and then it just kept growing. Oops. Hope you enjoy it! :)

_10\. He was fifteen when he decided he wanted to be a doctor (it's also the day he got drunk the first time)._

Annie was visiting for three days. He still isn't sure how she convinced their parents, but he isn't surprised (Annie always got her way). He got the text halfway to the factory. It was nothing dramatic, if he didn't know his sister he wouldn't even suspect anything. "Charlie," it read and his blood ran cold. Another ping not fifteen seconds later. "Love you, can't wait to see you."

"Fuck," he growled.

"What is it?" Yumi asked.

But he was gone.

. . … . .

"We can't go back," Jeremie said. Odd looked up from where he was poking Yumi in the shoulder.

"What? Why?" Aelita questioned. Her face grew pale when she saw Jeremie's eyes turn back to the computer screen. "Who?" she asked and her voice was whisper-sharp.

"The conductor," he replied. There was silence in the room for five ticks of Yumi's watch. "We…we can't, it's impossible."

"We were too slow," Yumi said, the disbelief heavy in her words and the slump of her shoulders. They hadn't been too late since that first time three years ago when they were young and naïve and thought they had all the time in the world (they didn't and six-year-old Phillipe Dumas paid the price but they don't talk about it). Aelita sank to the floor, her head buried in Odd's shoulder. "We were too goddamn slow!" Yumi screamed and she kicked the pile of scrap metal and sent it flying.

Jeremie's shoulders hunched and he didn't look at them. Yumi sank to the ground, face hidden in her bent knees. Odd studied the two of them silently, felt Aelita's sobs against his shoulder, her tears wetting his shirt. Hesitantly he cleared his throat. It echoed in the silent room.

"Well, who tells Ulrich?"

. . … . .

"It could have been worse," Yumi said. She pushed the cup of lukewarm coffee into Ulrich's hands and tried to ignore the smell of antiseptic. "It could have been Annie."

"It  _was_  Annie," Ulrich responded. It was the first sentence he'd said since the others had arrived two hours ago. "Two cracked ribs, a dislocated shoulder, one hundred thirty-eight stitches, a broken wrist, and four broken fingers. Her  _fingers_ ," he moaned.

Yumi hesitated, looked at the other drawn faces sitting around them, before rubbing Ulrich's stooped shoulders gently. "Yeah, but she isn't  _dead_ ," she said softly. "Annie'll get better, you'll see." Ulrich didn't look convinced.

He tossed the still-full coffee in the trash bin on his way out the door.

. . … . .

His parents arrived during Annie's second surgery. His mother spoke with the doctor down the hall and dabbed at her eyes with crumpled tissues. His father stood in the hall with his hands in his pockets and his head hanging as he studied the scuffed tile. Ulrich hesitated before crossing from the waiting room and going to stand next to his father. He could feel his friends' eyes on him but he didn't look back.

"Father, I-"

"Be quiet, your mother is coming. Do not upset her." Ulrich fell silent as his mother joined them. "Adelaide…?"

"The doctor says they're prepping her for another surgery. For her hands now." His father's face went grey and for a moment Ulrich thought he was about to pass out.

"Her hands were damaged? She has the showcase coming up."

"I know," his mother said quietly. "Charles," and they both looked up in surprise, "will you get me a hot tea? I don't feel well and I want to talk to Charlie." His father hesitated before heading to the cafeteria.

"Mother, I-"

"How are you, Charlie?" she asked. Her face looked pale and lined, dark smudges ringed her hazel eyes.

"What?" Ulrich blinked at her in surprise. His mother gave him a tired look and she reached over to straighten his shirt.

"How are you, Charlie?" she repeated. "I know this is hard on you." Her fingers trembled against his shoulders and he reached up to take her hands.

"Mother, have you taken your medicine?" he questioned quietly.

"You'll stay, won't you? Until Annie comes out?" Her hands clenched and he studied her worried face.

"Yes, Mom, I'll stay," he said quietly.

"You're a good boy," she sighed. He opened his mouth to protest-splutter-question-something but his father arrived with the hot tea and the silence descended again.

. . … . .

"You okay?" Odd asked softly. He sank onto the chair next to Ulrich and eyed the Sterns sitting across the waiting room. Mrs. Stern was flipping through a novel and Mr. Stern was studying his phone. "Ulrich?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He didn't look fine though; his face blank and eyes dark. Odd hesitated and then reached up to rub his shoulder. Ulrich shrugged it off though when his father glanced over at them. "Don't," he said.

"Ulrich-"

"Hannelore Stern's family?" a doctor in a white coat called. As one Ulrich's parents stood and joined the doctor in the hall. Ulrich followed them slowly. "The surgery is taking longer than originally expected," the doctor explained. He had laugh lines around his eyes and a moustache that drooped slightly.

"Why? What's wrong?" Charles Stern demanded.

"Nothing is wrong, Monsieur. We just discovered more damage than expected."

"But she'll be alright?" Adelaide Stern questioned. "It can be repaired?"

"Oui, Madame. We must be careful with the nerves and the bones though. She should regain at least eighty percent functionality though."

"Only eighty percent?" his father demanded.

"At  _minimum_. We expect full recovery if she does the physical therapy exercises we assign her." His pager beeped and he checked it. "Excuse me."

His mother sniffed into tissues and his father frowned at the doctor's retreating back. "Adelaide, sit down and collect yourself." His mother nodded and moved to the waiting room, Ulrich started to follow. "A word, boy."

. . … . .

"This is your fault," his father accused, voice low and shoulders ramrod straight. They stood at the end of the hall where the emergency stairs were and the nurses didn't come by.

"I had nothing to do with it."

"She wouldn't have been on that train if it wasn't for you." His father's hands clenched. "If she wasn't visiting you she would have been safe at home."

"I didn't-"

His father pressed him into the corner and glared down at him. "I thought you were turning yourself around by attending this school. But three years later and your grades are only marginally better-"

"That's not my fault," Ulrich protested. "I can't help it and you know it."

"Excuses!" his father scoffed. "I don't understand why Hannelore is as attached as she is to you, or why your mother is convinced you have more potential than you show, but one more screw-up and that's it. Understand? I will not have Hannelore brought down by you."

"I didn't crash the train, Father!"

"No, you just insured your sister was on the train when it did."

He isn't sure what happened but suddenly his fist was connecting with his father's cheekbone and pain erupted along his knuckles. His father stared at him in shock. "Fuck you," he hissed.

. . … . .

He was halfway through a bottle of scotch when the door opened with a creak. He looked up, head swimming, and saw Odd leaning against the frame. He lifted the bottle in greeting and slouched against the dusty crates.

"Well, don't you look pissed," Odd said lightly. He crossed the room, letting the factory door close with a bang, and slid down the crate next to him. "Where'd you get the scotch?"

"I know where Delmas keeps it," he replied.

"Of course." Odd studied him through narrowed green eyes. "This isn't the answer you know. Annie's gonna be fine. She came out of surgery fine."  _You would have known if you'd been there_ Odd's eyes accused.

"Good," Ulrich sighed. His body deflated and he took a swig of the scotch. It no longer burned his throat and his knuckles only twinged once-in-awhile he noted. "My parents still there?"

"Yeah, when I left anyway. They were waiting to see her in recovery."

"Ah," Ulrich sighed. He swigged from the bottle. "How'd you find me?"

"I know your haunts," Odd replied. He hesitated and then took the bottle from him, swigged from it himself and made a face. "How can you drink this?"

"You get used to it."

"Your dad sported a pretty impressive black eye after you left," Odd commented. He eyed Ulrich as he set the bottle just out of reach.

"Did he now?" Ulrich mused. His words dropped letters and stumbled sideways but he didn't seem to care. "That's nice."

"You do that?"

"Yeah." He continued before Odd could ask, "he blamed me for Annie's accident." He sighed as his head collided with Odd's shoulder. "And he was right. If we'd been faster, if I was faster, if I fucking went to Lyoko…she could be dead, Odd and it'd be my fault."

"Yeah, well, she isn't and you drinking yourself senseless won't help. Come on, let's get back to the room so you can pass out," Odd sighed. He ruffled Ulrich's hair and offered a small, sad smile. "It's not your fault. You couldn't have done anything different."

. . … . .

He watched Annie after her surgeries. The way her bones mended and her therapy worked and the thin scar along her right temple formed. The doctors (she had a surgeon and a hand specialist and another surgeon) checked in with her daily and the nurses smiled at him when they adjusted her pillows and brought her meals.

"Don't look so morbid, Ulrich," Annie groaned. She smiled at him. "I'm not dying."

"I know," he said. He smiled back and signed the cast on her wrist. "I know," he repeated.

He was patient and forceful as he forced her reluctant hands into working on the stretching and balls and rubber band contraptions that would help her fingers function again. He made sure she took her pills after she finished dinner but before the dessert. The nurses brought extra jello for him and the doctors told her what progress she was making.

"You've a good bedside manner," the doctor with the drooping moustache told him. "You ever think of being a doctor?"

"I'm not good in school," Ulrich replied. "Annie's got the high marks." He massaged her unbroken fingers and thought that maybe he should offer to paint her nails. She always had her nails painted.

"You'd be brilliant as a doctor," Annie said and they both looked at her in surprise. She smiled. "I told you I was just going to rest my eyes. You like science, you'd be good."

"I'm sure you can get your grades up," the doctor told him. "You decide to pursue it, you come find me and I'll tell you the good schools to apply to. Now, Mademoiselle Stern, time for your therapy." Annie groaned and closed her eyes.


	12. Sissi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Cursing
> 
> **Rating:** PG-13
> 
> **Author's Note:** On to yet another short chapter.

_11\. He really hates Sissi (but not Eli)._

He discovered this during his first week at Kadic, when he saw her making fun of a younger girl who tripped and dropped all her things. "What an idiot," Sissi snorted. Her hazel eyes were mocking and she snickered openly. The girl bowed her head and hid behind her red-brown hair while she reached for her belongings.

"Here, let me help," he called. The girl's eyes rose in shock as he crossed the courtyard and knelt to help her. "I'm Ulrich," he said.

"Milly," the girl replied softly. Behind him Sissi made a scoffing noise and watched him through surprised eyes. "Th-thank-you."

"No problem." He handed her a notebook and smiled as she tucked it away. Three pens later and she was on her feet, hurrying off to the journalism office. "You're still staring," he called over his shoulder.

"Since when did  _you_  become compassionate, Ulrich-dear?" Sissi questioned. Inwardly he cringed at the nickname as he rejoined her.

"Since when did  _you_  become cruel?" he countered. Her eyes narrowed and he slung an arm over her shoulders and tugged her in for a hug. "Just because of what happened, Eli, doesn't mean…"

"It means nothing, Ulrich-dear," she snapped. "I'm not Eli anymore, I'm Sissi. Don't ruin my image."

When he sat on a bench and watched her laugh at others misfortunes, listened to her chide the younger students, heard her bully the staff because she was the headmaster's daughter…he couldn't help but be reminded of his father.

. . … . .

"Do you ever think about what we'd be like if our parents weren't such assholes?" she asked.

"Eli," he sighed. It was times like these that he could get away with calling her that. When her eyes filled with unshed tears and her voice turned soft and melancholy. He watched as she leaned against the low wall surrounding the roof perimeter. "Your dad's not an asshole," he said finally.

"And neither is your mom," she said after a moment. "But your dad is and my mom is and look at how messed up we are."

"Speak for yourself," he snorted. He tried to keep it light but her eyes turned dark when they looked at him and he felt his shoulders slump as he joined her at the wall. Her head rested on his shoulder. "I guess I do," he admitted. "If I were better at school…"

"You can't help that," she protested. With a sigh she turned and sank down onto the rough tar paper covering the roof. "If my mom hadn't…well, if she hadn't maybe Daddy and I would have stayed in Germany. And then I would have been there that day. I would have punched your father."

"You don't even know what happened," Ulrich sighed. He sat next to her and studied the clouds overhead. Below them students laughed and talked on their way to get dinner.

"Annie told me some," Eli murmured. She plucked at loose pebbles and through them at the fan turbine. "I think I can guess the rest. I'm sorry."

"Doesn't matter."

"But it was your birthday!"

"Yeah, well, like you said, we're screwed up and our parents are screwed up." He fell silent and Eli shifted.

"How's your mom?"

"She's getting better. Some days she's good, some days she's bad. Father doesn't talk about it and Mother tells me not to worry so I hear about it from Annie mostly." He stretched his legs out. "How's your dad?"

"He gets sad sometimes and he has a photo of her on his bedside table, like I don't notice. I don't think he talks to her but I could be wrong."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too." They're quiet again. "Ulrich?"

"Yeah, El?"

"Why don't you want to hang out with me anymore? You're always with your friends and you ignore me and I know I'm not…I'm not the nicest but I miss you sometimes, you know?" she murmured.

He heaved a sigh and linked their fingers. "It's complicated, Eli. I wish I could tell you but…I don't know how to."

"I hate growing up. Do you remember when we were ten and Heidi took the three of us to the zoo? I liked the monkeys and Annie kept asking why all the animals were locked up and you got double scooped ice cream and let me have some?" He nodded, smiling. "That was a great day, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was," he agreed.

Moments like these he missed Eli even more.


	13. Hit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Cursing, hitting a child
> 
> **Rating:** PG-13
> 
> **Author's Note:** And here's the next chapter! :)

_12\. Contrary to the popular belief amongst his friends, his father has only hit him once – at his twelfth birthday party._

"Unbelievable!" Charles growled. He dragged Ulrich by the shirt collar into the trees behind the house where his sister and the guests couldn't see. The last sight he had of the party was Henry's shocked eyes from behind his blonde hair. "You and that…that…that bastard!" His father's voice was low and even, the tone that meant punishment. "Don't look at me, you disgusting little pervert."

He had never seen his father so angry in all twelve years-and-one-day of his life. His eyes focused on the forest floor and he hunched each time Charles spoke. He wanted to tell him that he hadn't known what was going to happen when Henry had pulled him behind the garden shed. Henry was a year older, new to the neighborhood, nice and funny, smart and cool. When he'd kissed him, Ulrich hadn't thought about anything other than the fact that Henry's lips felt like lips and not sticky like Eli's had last year. Two minutes later and Charles was rounding the corner looking for them (Annie wanted to open her presents) and thirty seconds after that Ulrich found himself red faced and being dragged away.

When he chanced a look at his father again he was met with a hand to his cheek (and  _pain_ ). He saw stars as he staggered back. "Wha…?" His left eye felt swollen and he was dizzy with shock and pain.

"Don't cry. You are a disappointment, boy; a great big disappointment. What would have happened if your mother had seen that? Or," and his father's face paled suddenly, "or your sister? Did you even think? What if Hannelore had seen such a disgusting display of perversion?"

"Papa, I didn't…"

"For God's sake, boy, we are  _Catholic_. Do you want to go to Hell?" His father shook his head, hands shoved deep in his trouser pockets as if keeping them there would keep him from striking out again. "I will let this pass so long as you obey me."

"Father," Ulrich tried again.

"Don't talk to me. Listen carefully; you  _will not_  see that boy again, he is a temptation and you  _will not succumb_. You are a Stern, you're stronger than that. You  _will not_  talk to him. You  _will not_  leave this house until school starts in two months. You  _will not_  be like this, even to spite me. You  _will not_  disappoint me in this, do you understand me?"

"Yes, Sir," Ulrich mumbled, eyes still on the broken twigs littering the ground.

"Good," Charles said. Without another word he returned to the house and the party and let Annie blow out her candles first like always. Kids stared, Henry tried to talk to him, his mother was oblivious, Annie was exclaiming over make-up and purses, and Heidi took him away for ice and sweet tea in the kitchen.

"Smuggled you an extra piece of birthday cake," Heidi told him. She smiled as she set the plate on the counter and refilled his glass. "How're you feeling?"

"Heidi…"

"Now, I know it's not my business but I've known you since before you were born. You're a good boy, Ulrich. It seems to me though that you've allowed yourself to get lost in Annie's shadow." She checked his eye before replacing the cold pack. "Nobody has the right to hurt you unless you let them."

"He's my father, Heidi," Ulrich said. He let his feet swing. "And I messed up. I messed up big this time. He'll never forgive me."

"Your father loves you, Ulrich. He just doesn't know how to show it." She sighed as she sat on the stool next to him. "That said, I think it's time for a change. "Your father favors boarding school, I think you should consider it."

Two months later he walked through the gates of Kadic for the first time. Alone. Eli found him within the first hour, told him her name was  _Sissi_  now, and then hugged him tight enough to suffocate. He didn't tell her, but somehow she knew (about the Incident and to keep quiet). A day later he was introduced to his roommate and future best friend. He couldn't help but notice Odd's hair was a shade lighter than Henry's.


	14. Lyoko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Maybe a touch of suicidal thoughts (but not really).
> 
>  **Rating:** PG-13
> 
>  **Author's Note:** Woo, this one was hard-ish to write for some reason. I don't know. It started off kind of...random and then I think it got darker than I intended.

_13\. He relished the time spent fighting monsters on Lyoko._

The others didn't understand his reasons, but they got the appeal.

It wasn't the catharsis Odd craved when he made his solitary trips down into the scanners. It wasn't the chance to make everything make sense that Yumi strove for while fighting. It wasn't even answers to puzzles and riddles Jeremie searched for, or the understanding Aelita sought.

It was the control. It was the knowledge that if he hit the target  _just right_ then it was night-night monster. It was the understanding that no matter what he was untouchable. He could chase down anything; he could be in as many places as he needed to. It was the ability to lose himself in the rhythm of dodging lasers and stingers and tentacles and whatever else X.A.N.A. threw at him. But he didn't always go in search of the monsters, he dealt with them enough.

What Ulrich liked best was sneaking off to Lyoko alone, the absolute silence that came from an unplanned trip. No talking, no birds, no civilization. It was him alone; it was him regaining control of himself. There were no expectations, no worries. He was free to do as he pleased as long as he stayed off X.A.N.A.'s radar.

Oftentimes Ulrich found himself in the Forest Sector. The trees were tall and the ground was sturdier, no tricks of shadows and smoke here like in the other sectors. He wandered long past the point of exhaustion, for hours and hours because he felt nothing in this world. When he materialized later (after the sun had gone down and past the supper bell) his bones would creak and his blood felt heavy and sluggish in his veins. The Forest Sector was his favorite, and he found on one occasion that if he lay still on his back and stared up into the canopy high above, the wasps generally ignored him when they buzzed past.

It reminded him of home, of long hikes without Annie or anyone when he could lose himself, of short trips to the stream with Eli to swim, or of the games of hide-and-seek with Annie when they pretended to be Hansel-and-Gretel instead of Charlie-and-Annie and sometimes tried to get lost on purpose. It reminded him of the wood backed up to Kadic, where he practiced pencak silat with Yumi, where he hiked with Emily in grey mornings, where he and Odd walked Kiwi and he felt like he could breathe again.

He learned the terrain, the trees and the paths to travel between them. The way the streams ran and the sound the water made if he waded through. It was so similar to the one back home that once he was almost homesick. He focused on the pathways that ran curving through the trees after that. They hung suspended in the air and sometimes when he looked down the world slanted sideways and his vertigo kicked in until he was forced to lie down on the path and close his eyes until the world stopped spinning and the only thing buzzing were the wasps.

Sometimes he ventured into the Mountain Sector, leapt across the wide gulfs on the floating rocks. He would peer down into the wide spaces, past the smoke-like clouds. He thought about the digital sea, about devirtualizing into it permanently, of never going back. One misstep off a fog covered path and then nothing.

It was a tempting thought, especially when there was a looming vacation period.


	15. Chronicle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** A bit of roughness involved in a relationship in the second section (like rough kissing and such, I don't know how to describe it).
> 
>  **Rating:** PG-13
> 
>  **Author's Note:** Well, this one was actually fun to write.

_14\. He and Yumi make it into the Kadic Chronicle together three times._

When he was fourteen and the world was crazy he honestly believed he could (and would) love Yumi (forever). She was smart, athletic, and sarcastic. The contrast between her dark hair, dark eyes, dark clothes, and pale skin was startling and he was constantly drawn to her.

They made headlines when they finally got together:  _Kadic's Cutest Couple – Finally OFFICIAL!_  Aelita shook the paper excitedly in their faces before hugging them both tightly. "This is  _so exciting_  guys!" she exclaimed. Her face was lit up with a bright smile. "Isn't it romantic, Jeremie?"

Jeremie choked on his third cup of coffee, muttered "yeah, romantic" and flushed red in the cool morning air. He gave them a tired smile and downed the rest of the cup, mumbled "congrats" around the rim.

Sissi appeared, flanked by Herve and Nicholas like always, and studied the five of them. Her gaze landed on the newspaper Aelita was clutching before jumping to Yumi and Ulrich who were now Yumi-and-Ulrich. Ulrich flushed as Yumi's fingers tightened on his hand. "The whole school is talking, Ulrich-dear," she said finally. Her eyes focused on his.

"Are they?" he replied and studied her chin instead.

"What do you want, Sissi?" Yumi asked, exasperation lacing her words. "He's not interested in you; he'd  _never_  be interested in you."

Sissi's face turned red and her eyes narrowed. Ulrich swallowed and sat up straighter on the bench. "Sissi," he said and her eyes turned back to his.

"It won't last," she said finally. "We both know it won't. Come on, I hear they're announcing the new play today I want to see which lead I'll be playing," she announced. With one last glance at Ulrich she swept away with Herve and Nicholas following behind like always.

" _Ugh_ ," Yumi groaned. She rested her head on Ulrich's shoulder and his arm wrapped around her automatically even as his stomach twisted and flipped. Odd snatched the paper from Aelita and ignored her protests and Jeremie's distracted "give it back."

Odd skimmed the article, smiling. "Ulmi, well, that's unfortunate. Yurich sounds so much better."

. . … . .

Four months of dating later and he realized it was a mistake (and Sissi was right). The mystery and the allure had worn off and he was pretty sure she felt the same way. They fought, they were jealous. He stayed on the soccer fields longer, had study dates with Emily-Sissi-Odd. She had to babysit Hiroki, had literature papers and science projects with William.

"So," Yumi said slowly, "what did you do today?" They were headed to their usual training spot in the woods. The sun was an hour away from setting and the air still held traces of warmth.

"I worked on some math with Sissi," he said after a pause. He forced his tone to be light as he moved ahead of her.

"Sissi? You've spent a lot of time with her lately." He didn't look at Yumi but he could picture the expression on her face near-perfectly.

"Don't be jealous-"

"I'm  _not_  jealous I don't see why you'd study with  _Sissi_  over Jeremie who's top of the class-"

"You were with William today, right?" he interrupted. He pushed a branch out of the way and she brushed past him into the clearing. "I called and your mom said you two were working on something in town. I just don't know why you'd need to go to town for a science project on botany…"

"Are you trying to insinuate something,  _Ulrich-dear_?" Yumi demanded. He spun, arm raised to block the throw he knew was coming and she didn't disappoint. "Because we went into town for lunch after looking at  _plants_  and  _leaves_  for  _hours_."

"Just worried about you. William did betray us." His leg came around but she did a neat little tumble that let her escape most of the force behind it.

"If you're that worried," Yumi panted, "you should pay attention to who you're with." She lunged and pinned him. "Will was possessed, Sissi on the other hand…" She leaned in and her hair curtained off the rest of the world. "Sissi betrayed us willingly."

He kissed her and she kissed back. It was all teeth and take-take-take and he flipped her onto her back, pinned her to the ground with a knee pressed tight against her thighs. Her nails dug into his bare shoulders when he pulled away. "Sissi thought she was helping."

"Another reason Sissi shouldn't think so much, you should remember that next time you need help  _studying_ ," Yumi bit. And then she pulled him back down for another kiss and the fight continued on wordlessly. They left the wood an hour later as the sun sank behind the trees scratched and bruised even though neither had physically landed a blow.

They made headlines again when they split after eight months ("It's not you, it's me" said through grit teeth and lying eyes because it was  _them_  that was the problem and they both knew it). Odd joked that it was a slow news day while Ulrich threw darts at Milly's article in their room.  _Kadic's Cutest Couple Calls Quits_. He had a perfect line of blue darts separating him from Yumi when Aelita barged in. She took one look and hugged him tight enough to choke.

That night, as he lay on the school roof (after picking the lock again), Eli joined him silently. He didn't ask how she knew where he'd be and she didn't explain. They sat in silence and watched the stars shine above them and listened to the cicadas sing and the owls hoot as they hunted in the dark. "I'm sorry," she said finally.

"I'm fine," he replied.

She looked at him for a long moment but his eyes remained fixed on the waning moon overhead. "Yeah, I know," she said quietly. Wordlessly she sat next to him and when he reached over and took her hand she didn't say anything, just squeezed back.

. . … . .

"Have you heard?" Aelita asked. She sat down on the empty chair and looked at the boys curiously.

"Did Einstein finally spill his guts?" Odd asked. He snuck a few chips out of the bag and tried not to crunch too loudly when Madame Martin looked over at their table.

Aelita frowned while Jeremie spluttered and turned red behind his glasses and Ulrich hit him in the arm with the library book he was supposed to be studying. " _Odd_ ," Jeremie hissed.

"Why would Jeremie...? Nevermind." Her voice dropped as she leaned in. "Claire's telling everyone that Yumi's dating Will now."

"Is it true?" Jeremie asked. He looked up from his laptop. Three sets of eyes turned to Ulrich but he pretended not to notice. "Ulrich?"

"She hasn't mentioned it," he said finally. He shoved his books into his bag. "I have to go. Emily's editing my essay." He turned back briefly at the door and saw the three of them leaning in and whispering together. He shook his head and headed to the dorms and ignored the looks his classmates gave him.

A week later (and three weeks after they broke up) they were in the paper together for the last time: Yumi was dating Will and Ulrich missed a game-winning goal.  _Kadic's Star, Distracted by Ex and Ex's New Beau, Loses Finals._  "There you are!" Odd exclaimed as he crossed the field. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

"Found me." He lifted the paper slightly and looked up at Odd. "Sure you want to be around me? Everyone else is pretty pissed."

"Eh, it only proves you're human, good thing too. Some of us were beginning to wonder, Ricky." Odd laughed as he fell onto the muddy ground next to him, ignoring the glare Ulrich gave him at the nickname. "Let's have a horror movie marathon, eat too many sweets, and not think 'til Monday, yeah? We can just forget yesterday ever happened."

"Yeah," Ulrich agreed, head on Odd's shoulder and newspaper crumpled in his first. He wasn't really sure which front page article upset him more (but he thought it was the missed goal one).


	16. Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Slash, het, unhealthy relationships.
> 
>  **Rating:** PG-13
> 
>  **Author's Note:** It was ridiculously difficult getting Yumi's part to sound different than the previous chapter, just so you know. :)

_15\. He kissed three girls and two boys by the time he turned sixteen._

Eli was tentative and sweet (both literally and figuratively). For a long time he could feel her narrow fingers pressed against his shoulders, could taste her honey chapstick. Late that same night he and Annie lay on the sloped roof counting stars and feeling the warmth leech away from the shingles. "Does that mean you'll marry her, like Mama says?" his sister asked.

"Course not, Annie. I probably won't see her again."

"Oh," she replied. "I'm not gonna kiss anyone until I'm sure we'll be together forever. It seems pointless otherwise."

"You're not going to kiss anyone  _ever_ ," Ulrich shot back.

Annie bumped his shoulder and snorted. "Don't be such a brother,  _Charles_. Just because you're five minutes older doesn't mean you control my life."

"Wanna bet?" Ulrich challenged. Annie shifted and sat up. Ulrich frowned up at her. "What?"

"Nothing." He poked her knee and she sighed as she studied the moon. "You just sounded like Papa there for a moment. He wants to control me too."

"I'm nothing like him," Ulrich protested. He sat up and studied her in the silvery light. "Annie-"

"Tell me about the kiss, Ulrich," she murmured. Her eyes were guarded as she smiled at him. "Did your noses get in the way? You didn't use your  _tongue_  did you? Because that's  _gross_."

He laughed and her smile widened. "It was nice. Our noses kind of got in the way at first, you've got to turn your heads you can't just go face forward," he answered. "And no, no tongues." He shuddered and this time she laughed but her eyes still looked dark and his chest still felt tight.

. . … . .

Henry was firm certainty when he kissed Ulrich behind the garden shed. His lips were dry and he had pizza sauce in the corner of his mouth. Heidi let him in a week after the party, when Charles was at work, and Ulrich stayed locked in his room. "What did I do wrong? I'm sorry, Ulrich. I thought…the way you acted…I'm sorry…" Henry said through the closed door.

"I can't see you anymore, I'm not like that," Ulrich replied. Later, after Henry left, Annie picked the lock with her dragonfly hair pin and found him contemplating the cracks in his ceiling and the posters and papers he'd taped up there to almost hide them. " _What_?"

"I never liked Henry," Annie announced. She perched on the bed next to him. "I'm glad you're not friends with him anymore."

"Annie," he groaned.

She ran her fingers through his hair and stared at the ceiling as well. "I'm not an idiot, I know something happened. Your black eye didn't come from falling over a tree branch while Papa congratulated you on turning twelve. We both know you're more sure footed than a deer and anyway, Papa would never offer congratulations for a  _birthday_." Ulrich tensed next to her and she sighed. "Why did Papa hit you?" Her voice was small, nervous. He felt his throat tighten. She was scared of him, or what he'd done. He couldn't tell her, she'd hate him even more.

"I did something bad," he murmured after she poked his arm several times.

"Worse than when you broke Mama's tea set and tried to glue it back together with toothpaste?"

"I was  _five_ , Annie. I thought it would hold. And yeah, worse than that."

Annie snorted and fell back onto the bed. She frowned. "Why is your pillow rustling?" Before he could stop her she pulled out the papers and stared at them. "Boarding school? In  _France_?"

"I have to go, Annie. I can't stay here anymore."

"Is this because of Henry? Did he make you do the something bad? Ulrich, what happened?"

"I can't, Annie. I can't." He turned away and she was left holding the papers and staring at his back.

She bit her lip as she carefully folded the papers and tucked them back into the pillow case. "Then you better start on those essays, I'll help you write them, if you want," she offered. "Think Mom'll let me dye my hair green?" she asked after a moment. "She might not notice with you deciding to leave." He laughed until he cried, and Annie just rubbed his back and pretended not to notice.

It might have been spite, but his first holiday home he kissed Henry and hoped his father suspected. Unlike the first time Henry was shocked and unmoving. His lips were still dry and their noses bumped uncomfortably. Ulrich counted five freckles before they separated and he stifled the urge to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. His mother had drilled etiquette into him since he was a toddler. "Why?" Henry questioned. "I thought you  _weren't like that_."

"I'm not, I just wanted to see."

He didn't see Henry after that.

. . … . .

Technically kissing Sissi was kissing Eli, but it was different. Sissi wasn't sweet like Eli. He'd kissed her four times since she changed her name and no matter if she saw it coming or not, her mouth always opened a little in surprise first. Then her fingers would grip his shirt tightly, holding him in place like she thought he would disappear if she didn't hold on (he probably would).

Sometimes her arms would wrap around his neck and he would forget for a moment and get lost in the feeling. Her lips were still sticky (with lip gloss now) and he found he missed the honey chapstick (but he never told her that). When they broke apart her face was impassive but her hazel eyes were just a little too-wide and innocent behind the liner-mascara-eye shadow. His hands held her hips while her eyes held his.

"But you still don't want me, do you?" she questioned each time.

"Sissi…."

"It's okay, Ulrich, I get it," she whispered. Her voice was strong, but her eyes grew distant. Each time he kissed her he saw that hope flicker and retreat, and he hated himself a little more.

. . … . .

Kissing Yumi was a whirlwind. They were both headstrong and stubborn and it was always a clash of teeth and tongues and fighting for dominance until they couldn't breathe. It reminded him of their sparring matches. Each of them tried to get the better angle, the better leverage, and both were panting when they pulled away, wiping away blood from bit lips and tending bruised shoulders-arms-hips. Every possessive urge, every jealous thought added kindling to their inferno.

"I think she's marking you, so everyone knows you're taken," Emily informed him. Her fingers pressed against the red mark visible just above his shirt collar.

"Maybe I should too," he mused, watching Yumi and William laugh together across the courtyard. Their heads were bent together as they looked at something on William's phone and Ulrich's eyes narrowed as he watched Will's hand rest on Yumi's arm.

"Because  _that's_  healthy," Emily retorted. She nudged Ulrich's shoulder with her own. "If you trust each other you shouldn't have to. " He remained silent and she sighed, braiding her long hair. "What does Odd think of it?"

"What? What does Odd have to do with anything?"

Emily gave him a long look and then shook her head. "Never mind, Ulrich. I'm sure you'll figure it out one day. Come on, let's focus on Voltaire again. Your exam is next week, right?"

"Yeah," he agreed.

He does figure it out, but it's an embarrassingly long time after their conversation.

. . … . .

He would never admit it, but kissing Odd was like drowning. It was forgetting how to breathe, free floating, and disorientating. Odd's hands were warm where they twisted into his hair or scraped across his shoulders. His mouth was always curled into a smile, even as Ulrich was left gasping for air afterwards ( _especially_  if Ulrich was gasping for air).

"Well," Odd murmured with a grin, "you kiss better than Claire."

"Oh, good," Ulrich replied with an eye roll. He smirked at Odd. "Sissi might be a better kisser."

" _What_?" Odd demanded. His green eyes narrowed at Ulrich. "You're joking and that's mean."

"Maybe," Ulrich agreed. He pressed his mouth to Odd's throat. "Maybe I just need a better demonstration," he whispered against his ear.

Odd's mouth was against his immediately, tongue slipping nimbly between his lips. When Ulrich moaned Odd's fingers tightened in his hair and Ulrich gripped his hips tight enough to bruise. It was thirty minutes later when Ulrich  _finally_  admitted that he was (probably-most likely-certainly) joking.

Odd's punishment was a bruise under Ulrich's jaw that Aelita raised her eyebrows to the next morning


	17. Jim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Hints of slash, het, violence.
> 
>  **Rating:** PG-13
> 
>  **Author's Note:** Holy heck in a hand basket. This chapter TOOK OVER. I don't even know how to explain it. It's like...it Hulk-ed out or something on gamma radiation, I am so sorry. I hope you all enjoy it. The . . ... . . represent a switch in years after the first section in this part while the / represent a change in time/scene during that year.

_16\. Out of all of the adults in Ulrich's life, he thinks he's closest to Jim._

It was a gradual thing. Neither of them were big on talking, both preferring to observe and keep to themselves. But somewhere between afternoon drills and inflating soccer balls and martial arts lessons, it happened. They sat on the bleachers, joked around, drank water, and forgot for a moment that they were teacher-student/coach-athlete.

. . … . .

He stayed late on the soccer field, running drills by himself. A line of soccer balls in front of the goal. Systematically he moved down the row, kicking hard and ignoring the sweat dripping down his forehead and into his eyes. Again-again-again, into the goal the balls flew. And then there were no more. He stood panting, hands on his knees.

"About done?" Jim questioned. Ulrich ignored the proffered towel but took the water bottle. "What's bugging you, Stern?"

"Next weekend's the tournament," he replied.

"It is," Jim agreed. He eyed the school-proclaimed football-star critically. "Your folks coming?"

"Yeah…they are."

"Help me gather the balls," Jim instructed. Ulrich grabbed the footballs and dumped them in the net Jim held open. "This is the first game they're coming for, yeah?"

"Yes, it is," Ulrich answered. His chest heaved and he felt a little dizzy, too much time running around and not focusing he figured. "My father…he has high expectations."

"Well," Jim said as he pulled the drawstring tight, "you've never disappointed before. Your place is on this field, that's evident enough. I'm sure you'll do your parents proud."

Ulrich nodded but didn't respond.

. . … . .

"Of course honey, I'll be there." Ulrich paused outside Jim's office when he heard the coach's voice. Cautiously he peered around the door and saw Jim seated at his desk. An unfinished crossword puzzle sat on the desk in front of him. "Now don't worry. I wouldn't miss it, Juliana." He looked up from the phone and saw Ulrich. Something flickered across his face. "Uh huh, I have to go now. I'll talk to you later. You too. Bye."

Ulrich hesitated and Jim's eyes narrowed. "Something I can help you with, Stern?"

"Just returning the football," he said. He held the borrowed ball out in offering.

Jim nodded. "I locked the rest up already, set it over there and I'll put it away on my way out." He went back to the crossword and Ulrich moved to set the ball on the pile of sports magazines and shin guards stacked on a chair. Jim hummed something under his breath as his pen worked across the page.

"Was that your wife?" he asked finally. Jim looked up in surprise.

"No," he said.

"Girlfriend?"

Jim's brows drew together. "No, now go on. Curfew's in fifteen minutes."

/

"Stern!" Ulrich looked up from where he was stowing the practice mat at the yell. It was followed by banging against the supply closet door. "Stern, you there?"

"Yeah, Jim, coming." Ulrich ran across the cold gym floor.

"Door slammed shut behind me," Jim hollered. "I left the key in my office, go get it out of the top drawer?"

"Sure thing."

Ulrich turned and headed for the office tucked into the back of the gymnasium, between the locker rooms. He hit the switch as he entered and was careful to watch where he stepped on the cluttered floor. He rounded the desk and paused. There were three top drawers.

He started on the one on the left. It was filled with playbooks and lesson plans and granola bars. The middle drawer had pens and sticky notes and loose band aids shuffled about. He closed that one and moved to the last drawer. It stuck a bit and he yanked hard. Inside the keys sat on top of a stack of blue covered books. He grabbed the keys and was about to close the drawer again when he noticed the picture with the bent corner that had made the drawer stick.

He pulled the picture out and studied it. It was of a girl in a soccer uniform. She looked about his age with ash blonde hair and blue eyes. He flipped the picture over and read the scribbled ink on the back:  _Juliana, 13._ "Stern!"

"Coming!" he yelled. He dropped the picture in the drawer and hurried out.

. . … . .

"You'll be running practice next week," Jim informed him. They were pumping air into deflated soccer balls.

Ulrich looked up curiously. "You feeling sick?"

"Nah, visiting Juliana," Jim replied, then cursed when the ball split and the air rushed out. "Goddamn low budget," he grumbled.

"Bring back that chocolate from last time? Odd likes it."

"Mm hm," Jim agreed. He gave him an indecipherable look that Ulrich ignored.

/

"I screwed up," Ulrich announced. Jim looked up in time to see Ulrich flop onto the small sofa he'd shoved between the filing cabinets. The thing looked hideous but was perfect for an inbetween-class snooze. "I fucking screwed up."

"Everyone makes mistakes, Ulrich," Jim said diplomatically. "There are other championships." Stealthily he moved the Kadic Chronicle into the trash bin by his desk.

"The school hates me."

"The school thinks you're heartbroken over Ishiyama," Jim replied. Ulrich snorted and Jim hid a smile in a cold cup of coffee. "You could just…go with it."

"That's what Odd said. I broke up with her, I'm not heartbroken."

"Apparently she isn't either." Ulrich gave him a dark look and Jim shrugged. "You missed a goal, Ulrich. It was bound to happen. As your coach I'll say to get back out there and run drills until you can shoot that ball in your sleep. But, as your friend, I say take a break and don't push yourself so hard. There's only so much that can be done. Now get out of here, I want to take a nap."

"Whatever," Ulrich grumbled. But he rolled off the couch and left not quite so stooped over.

. . … . .

"Jim?" Ulrich questioned. He poked his head through the office door and scuffed a foot against the floor.

"Yeah, what is it, Stern?" Jim looked up from a game-plan or lesson-plan or maybe it was one of the crosswords he denied being fond of. His eyes narrowed and he gestured him in. "You okay?"

Ulrich entered the tiny office, closed the door behind him. He took a seat on one of the torn chairs and studied the desk in front of him. "Have you ever…?" he trailed off unsure.

"You're going to have to give me more than that, Stern," Jim said, "I've done a lot." He put aside the papers and gave him a concerned look. "Is this about your folks?" A pause, then in a softer tone, "your dad?"

"No, kind of." The boy frowned and Jim looked more concerned. "Not really."

"Then what is it?" Jim asked.

"Have you ever liked someone you aren't supposed to?" he asked finally. He met Jim's eyes briefly before turning his attention to the creaking ceiling fan.

"Not supposed to? I guess I've liked people who were wrong for me. But there's never a supposed to or a not supposed to when it comes to relationships, Ulrich. Sometimes they aren't right for you, and you'll realize that, but you won't know until you give it a shot."

"But what if you know nothing good will come of it?" Ulrich persisted.

"How do you know that?" Jim asked. "You try it with this girl before?" He watched Ulrich's shoulders stiffen and he raised an eyebrow at him.

"No," Ulrich said softly. He seemed to reach a decision and he swallowed. "Thanks, Jim."

"Wait, Ulrich." Ulrich paused and sat back down. He didn't relax but he didn't look ready to bound out of the chair anymore. "You can't know what's going to happen until you let it happen. You're fifteen, Ulrich. You're supposed to take chances and face some heartache and make mistakes. No one has all the answers but this…this person might not be good for you, and you might not be good for them, but sometimes you are and sometimes they are. You follow?" Ulrich nodded. "I've made a lot of mistakes in the past.  _A lot_. But good has come from them too. I can't imagine not knowing Juliana…"

"Yeah, I see," Ulrich interrupted. "I just. What if this person doesn't feel the same way? What if it changes everything between us? We're best friends now; I don't want to lose that."

Something shifted in Jim's face, maybe understanding or sympathy but Ulrich couldn't place the emotion. "Ah," he said slowly. "Well, you'd know better than I would. All I can say is…look for the signs. And be honest. If you're…if you're such good friends then this person should be able to understand and you should be able to work it out with hi- uh,  _hum_ , them," Jim coughed.

"Maybe," Ulrich sighed. "I got to go; I'm meeting Hertz for a make-up exam." He stood and made his way to the door. "Thanks," he called.

Jim nodded. "Ulrich." He waited until the boy turned back. "Let me know how it goes." Ulrich nodded but somehow Jim doubted he would.

/

"How's your sister?" Jim asked softly.

Ulrich glanced up and offered a brighter smile than he'd seen in a while. "She's healing. The doctors are letting her go back to Germany tomorrow. My parents are taking us out to dinner tonight to celebrate."

"Yeah?" Jim asked. "That's good. Her hands all fixed up?"

"Mostly." A shadow slipped over his face. "She still has problems with her pinky."

"It'll heal," Jim said confidently. Ulrich nodded. "Hey, whatever happened with you and…whoever?"

Ulrich looked startled and then shrugged. "Nothing. Annie's accident got in the way," he said.

"Yeah, guess it would. You still going to tell this person what you think?" he asked carefully. Ulrich frowned. "It would be best."

"I know. I'll do it after my father goes back to Germany," he said. "I have to get going, need to be at the restaurant by six. I might be late for curfew…"

"I'll let it slide."

"Thanks, Jim."

. . … . .

"Suspension, expulsion!" Delmas sputtered angrily. They were seated at the conference table with Gilles Beaumont and his parents. Gilles's jaw was wired shut and he his face was swollen, his right arm in a cast. Odd lounged in the plush chair next to him while Delmas continued to spout punishments. At last the headmaster seemed to reel himself in. " _Well_ , do you have anything to say for yourselves?"

"Wasn't us," Odd said. Gilles tapped on his notepad urgently and Mrs. Beaumont murmured soothing words while Mr. Beaumont demanded retribution.

"Oh, no? And where were you two when Mr. Beaumont got injured?" Delmas demanded. It was at that moment that the conference room door opened and Jim stood in the doorway. Delmas's new secretary peered over his shoulder helplessly. "Jim, we are in the middle of something here, I'm sure whatever it is you can sort on your own-"

"Stern and Della Robbia were with me," Jim announced. Ulrich sat up straighter, stared at Jim incredulously. "I had them serving detention for goofing off in class. They were scraping gum off the bleachers and cleaning the gym."

Gilles made a sound of protest and scribbled on his pad. His eyes narrowed at Odd and Ulrich.

"You sure, Jim?" Delmas asked. "You're sure it was the twenty-fifth?"

"I'm not senile," Jim barked. "I can remember a date ago. Three days before Sissi's big birthday party these two were serving detention. Figured it was cheap labor to get the place ready for Sissi's party."

Delmas looked uncertain. "Well then…there seems to be some confusion. Stern, Della Robbia, you're free to go."

/

"You gonna tell me what happened?" Jim asked later, after the Beaumonts had left the grounds. Ulrich sat on the bleachers, hands clenched and knuckles bandaged. "Ulrich!"

"Nothing, Jim." He didn't look at him but instead gazed at the music building next to the football field. Jim turned to see Sissi walking with Emily. "Forget it."

"I just put my god damned job on the line for you, Stern. You better tell me what happened between you and Beaumont," Jim growled. His arms crossed across his chest as he tilted his head back to study the teen. "Stern!"

"Yeah…thanks for that," Ulrich said. "I owe you."

"Ulrich," Jim groaned. He clumped up the stands and sat next to the sixteen-year-old. "He made some serious allegations back there. Against you and Della Robbia." Ulrich's spine stiffened. "Said…well,  _wrote_  that you were the ones to beat him up. That a lie?"

"No," Ulrich replied. His voice was razor edged and his eyes were dark when he looked at Jim. "I'd do it again."

"You gonna tell me why?" Jim asked quietly.

"I can't."

"I thought we were past this "can't" crap. What happened?"

Ulrich shook his head. "I can't tell you, Jim. I promised." Jim follows his eyes to the two girls talking by the bougainvillea and he maybe gets it.

"You did the right thing?" he asked.

"I could have done better," Ulrich answered.

Jim nodded, hand clasping Ulrich's shoulder. His eyes returned to the girls, Sissi huddled in a sweatshirt and Emily with her hand on the other girl's arm. "You did well enough. You tell her that if she needs anything…"

"I'll tell her," Ulrich agreed. He offered a broken smile. "Thanks, Jim."

. . … . .

"You and Della Robbia get in a fight, Stern?" Jim questioned. Ulrich glanced up from where he was lifting weights in the training room. "You've been hiding in here until curfew for the past three days."

"It's nothing," Ulrich replied stiffly. He drank from his water bottle and focused on the weight again.

"Seems like something," Jim said after a moment. He crossed the room and sat on the bench press next to Ulrich's. "You two break up?"

The barbell almost crushed his chest in his surprise. Jim caught it and helped him ease it back into the holders. " _What_?" Ulrich demanded. His eyes were wide and his face was flushed, whether in embarrassment or exertion Jim couldn't tell.

"You and Della Robbia, you're uh, what do they call it,  _hooking up_ , right?" Jim asked.

Ulrich's face flushed darker and he sat up. "No," he snapped. Jim quirked an eyebrow while Ulrich shoved his iPod and water bottle into his bag. "How did you know? That we were together?"

"I'm not blind, Stern." Ulrich stared at him. His shoulders were stiff and his eyes darted from Jim to the door. "Look, Ulrich," Jim sighed. "I figured something was up when Della Robbia would spend most of his free time around the gym and field, he never did before. And your excuses about why you two were in the supply room or out walking after curfew need some work."

Ulrich's shoulders caved and he stared at his mud splattered sneakers. "So you've known for a while. And you haven't done anything?"

"Like what?" Jim rubbed at his nose and studied the seventeen-year-old in front of him.

"Nothing, never mind." He stood up, swung his bag over his shoulder.

"Ulrich!" Ulrich paused in the doorway but didn't turn back. "It's okay, Ulrich," Jim said. "It'll be okay." Ulrich's head nodded before he disappeared from sight. Jim sat still until he heard the gym doors slam shut.

/

Jim's suit fit him awkwardly. It was too long in the leg and too short in the arms, Ulrich thought. "So, Edinburgh," Jim said.

"Yeah," Ulrich agreed.

"Your parents must be proud." Ulrich shrugged and Jim raised an eyebrow. "You did tell them?"

"I told them I got accepted to a couple schools. They don't know which. I've got a scholarship that'll last me until the money my grandmother left me comes in," Ulrich said. "I don't really care what they think anymore."

Jim nodded. "Your sister know?"

"She's pissed, but she's off to New York so she can't say much. She's joining a symphony." Jim nodded again. Ulrich leaned against the wall next to him and tried to pretend they were somewhere else. Across the room Sissi spoke quietly with other students. Her hair was pinned up and her black dress was stark against her pale skin. "She told me," he said slowly. "About what you did for her."

"Yeah?" Jim asked. His voice was gruff and he tugged his sleeves.

"Yeah, and well…thanks. I know it meant a lot to her, you being there for her after everything."

"Well, I just did what you couldn't," Jim replied. "We know you would've taken her if you could've. You did enough breaking his jaw." Ulrich nodded but didn't look convinced.

"Thanks, Jim. And not just for that, but for everything these past four years. You've done a lot, a lot more than you realize," he said suddenly. Jim looked at him in surprise.

"It was a pleasure, Ulrich," he said seriously. Ulrich nodded, and he reached over, hugging Jim tightly. "You take care now, you hear?"

"I hear."

"And you keep in touch," he added. Ulrich nodded and smiled and he suddenly looked (and felt) younger.

"I will."

Odd appeared at his side then. He nodded to Jim and looked at Ulrich. "Come on, time to get our seats. The viewings just finished the priest's about to start the sermon."


	18. Pranks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Nothing that I can think of
> 
>  **Rating:** PG-13
> 
>  **Author's Note:** So this one was a bit challenging to write. I wasn't expecting that. I should probably edit more, but I have a migraine and I'm hoping a nap will help.

_17\. Odd may be the one to come up with the pranks, but Ulrich came up with how to pull them off._

"Hey, Ulrich?" Odd called from the other side of the room.

"What?" he asked. He looked up from the book he'd been reading for the past hour.

"Hypothetically speaking, if you wanted to get crickets into an air duct…how would you go about it?" Odd asked.

Ulrich stared at him for a moment. "Why ask me?"

"Cause you're Nature Boy," Odd replied. "So, how would you do it?"

"Well…you'd need a lot of crickets," he said finally. "And overripe fruit or rotting branches. Make a path for them before you put them in the vent, or better yet, hide some of the stuff in the room you want them to go into and…why are you taking notes?"

"No reason," Odd replied with a bright smile.

. . … . .

"Argh!" Odd groaned. He threw his pen at the door just as Ulrich entered.

"What is it?" Ulrich questioned.

Odd looked up and sighed, scratching Kiwi behind the ears. "I can't figure out how to get the goo into the water balloons. It's too thick and the last test ones wouldn't fill properly."

Ulrich picked up the pen and carried it over. He leaned over Odd and studied the notebook and schematics Odd had created. "If you cut the molasses with water it should thin it out enough to fill the balloons up," Ulrich pointed out. He drew a couple lines on the paper in Odd's lap. "Or, you could swap molasses with corn syrup; it'll give the desired consistency but still be thin enough to work with."

Odd stared at him wide-eyed and then grinned. Kiwi yelped and Ulrich staggered back as Odd threw himself on him in a tight hug. "You are brilliant!" he exclaimed. Before he could reply Odd had disappeared out the door.

. . … . .

"Delmas has it in for me," Odd groaned. Ulrich made a sympathetic noise as he focused on typing. Odd flopped onto the bed next to him and peered at the screen. "That's not how you spell _malignant_ ," he said, "or  _circumspect_. Don't you have spell check?"

"Why does Delmas have it in for you?" Ulrich asked. He closed the laptop and looked at Odd curiously. Odd shrugged and rolled over to study the posters taped on Ulrich's side of the ceiling. He never understood that quirk. "What'd you do?"

"Nothing. I was trying to borrow some cooking oil for a prank and Jim caught me and brought me to Delmas. Now I have detention. Again."

"Shocker."

"I need a way to get back at him, one he won't suspect…"

Ulrich shrugged. "You could always cover the faculty parking lot with bird seed," he said. "I imagine that'll be messy and untraceable." Odd grinned at him. "Can you move now, I need to finish this."

"Sometimes I think you're the devious one," Odd announced. He bounced off though and spent the next thirty minutes looking up bird seed options.

. . … . .

"I have an idea," Odd said when he entered.

"That's always dangerous," Ulrich deadpanned. He kicked the door shut behind him and dropped his bag by the door, his jacket over the desk chair.

"Don't be a downer," Odd sniffed. "I'm thinking this school needs a little  _livening up_ , what do you say?"

"I say this has  _expulsion_  written all over it." He joined Odd on the floor by the desk though and studied the papers in front of him. "What is this?"

"My idea. I'm thinking we should tap into that PA system Delmas loves to use. We could wire it to a hidden sound system and broadcast all day!"

"Sounds like you have everything sorted then," Ulrich replied. He started to stand but Odd grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. "What?"

"I can't figure it out. I was going to ask Aelita, but she's been on the fritz with Einstein again, so she's trying to avoid confrontation. And Einstein's out of the question, he'd probably turn me in… I tried to trace the wiring back to the office but I got lost."

"Sounds like a problem," Ulrich said.

"Some help you are," Odd snorted.

/

Two days later he drops a thick stack of schematics on the foot of Odd's bed, narrowly missing Kiwi. "What's this?" Odd asked. He leaned over and flipped through one. "These are…How'd you get the blueprints?"

"Went and visited Delmas," Ulrich replied. He didn't elaborate.

"So you just showed up, said 'hey, Delmas ol' buddy, can I borrow the electrical blueprints' and he gave them to you? Just like that?" Odd questioned. He was running a finger down one of the drawings, following the wiring.

"No, I spoke to him for a while, when he left to get drinks I took them out of the cabinet. I'll need them back tomorrow, I promised to drop in."

"Ulrich, have I ever mentioned how brilliant-devious-genius you are? I don't know why you don't display this side more often."

Ulrich smirked as Odd got lost in the schematics.

/

"It's funny," Jeremie said waspishly, "how clever you can be when it isn't related to a textbook." He fumbled with a bottle of aspirin.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ulrich replied. He poked at the potatoes on his tray.

"Aelita told me Odd told her you helped him plan this," Jeremie snapped. He waved his hand in the air to highlight the heavy metal currently pulsing from the speakers. "You can rewire an electrical system but you're failing chem-"

"Isn't this awesome?" Aelita asked. She smiled as she sat down at the table and kissed Jeremie on the cheek. "Odd says I can DJ the sound system after school if it's still up. I think this is a little  _much_  for lunch but it's  _so_ much better than whatever it was that was playing earlier."

"Super Furry Animals," Ulrich replied.

"What?" Jeremie asked while Aelita looked at him curiously.

"The band, it was the Super Furry Animals."

"Oh, how interesting. So you're the one who figured out the wiring?" Aelita asked. She leaned in, all smiles and bright eyes. "Odd said you got the blueprints but he said you were the one who figured out how to read them, and where to put the new sound system too, is that right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ulrich replied. Aelita's eyes laughed while Jeremie grumbled and stuffed potatoes in his mouth.

Later, when Odd ranted about Delmas giving him detention  _again_ , Ulrich couldn't help but think this was why he stayed in the background during these types of pranks.


	19. Hike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** (I can't remember and am not looking through all these words but) I think cursing, people being beaten up, het, (hints of?) slash, and I don't know what else, but those are the major ones.
> 
>  **Rating:** PG-13
> 
>  **Author's Note:** I'm not even...I can't even explain this one. This chapter grew legs and ran away from me. Quickly. It's about 5k words and I cut out a bunch because this thing was about to turn into fic-zilla. Please let me know what you think of this monstrosity.

_18\. It was an unofficial ritual, meeting up with Emily for a Sunday morning hike through the forest, but it was one he looked forward to consistently._

He was sitting by the creek when he heard the branches snap. He looked up in time to see a girl emerge from the bushes, camera in hand. She was dressed in shorts and a tank top. Her long brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail high on her head. She had a jacket tied at her waist.

"Oh, hello," she said. She smiled at him and crossed the bank to sit next to him. Her sneakers crunched on the broken twigs. "I didn't expect anyone else out this early."

"Neither did I," he admitted. "I think I've seen you around Kadic. I'm Ulrich Stern."

"I know," she replied. She smiled at him again. "Everyone at school knows who you are. The new football star who always hangs out with Sissi Delmas." She held out a hand. "I'm Emily Leduc. I'm in the year above you."

"Ah," he said. He shook her hand. "So you like to hike?"

"Oh, I'm more into nature photography," she replied. She showed him the thin blue camera as evidence. "Last week I saw a doe and her fawn near here and was hoping to get a couple images. What about you?"

"I like the wood," he replied. She offered him another smile and pushed her glasses up farther on her nose.

"That's cool. How do you like Kadic so far?"

"It's okay. I don't really know many people besides Sissi," he still fumbled over her name sometimes, "and my roommate. And I'm not really sure I want to know my roommate."

She laughed. "He can't be that bad. I had a hard time adjusting to mine when I got here last year."

"Does yours snore and eat constantly and leave the room a mess?" he challenged.

"No," she admitted. She stood and wiped her hands on her shorts. "It will get better." He didn't look convinced. "Well, I'm going to search farther upstream for the deer. Maybe I'll see you around."

"Maybe," he echoed. He watched her disappear around the undergrowth.

/

Ulrich wasn't surprised when he came across her a couple weeks later. She was crouched near some bushes photographing some flowers. "Hey!" he called. She looked over, startled. "Come on, I found something you might be interested in."

"What is it?" she asked. She stood though and followed him into the brush.

"You'll see," he replied. He led her down a narrow trail to the thicket he had traveled through earlier. "Good, they're still here." He stepped aside. "Look."

A vixen and her kits were in the small clearing. There were eight kits in total and they were fighting over a fallen branch. The vixen was curled in a patch of sunlight watching them. Her fur shone rust red in the light while the kits only had patches of the rusty color appearing on their dark faces.

"We're downwind from them so she can't scent us," Ulrich explained softly.

"They're adorable," Emily murmured back. She fiddled with her camera for a moment before she began to snap pictures again. Suddenly the vixen's ears twitched and she sat up. A sharp  _wow wow wow_  noise came from the thicket behind the foxes. The mother made a huffing noise and immediately the kits returned to her and the small family disappeared into the underbrush. "What happened?" Emily asked.

"I think her mate was summoning her back. Foxes have sharp ears, especially red ones. They could have heard your camera or probably us talking."

"You know a lot about them," Emily noted. She slipped the camera into a pocket and rubbed at her arms. "Come here a lot?"

"You could say that," Ulrich agreed. "We have foxes back home so I studied them a lot. Those were young, maybe a month or six weeks."

"Hm," Emily said. She smiled at him. "Thanks for showing them to me. I got a couple good shots; I'll send them to you if you want."

"That'd be great," he agreed.

/

"So, I was thinking of running another test after school today," Jeremie said. He looked at the three of them as they sat around on the benches in the courtyard. His gaze lingered on Odd who was fighting with the wrapping of a granola bar.

"Why are you staring at me?" Odd demanded. He whooped as he succeeded in opening the packaging.

"Just reminding you not to get detention…again."

"Whatever," Odd grumbled. He chewed on his granola bar.

"How are you still hungry?" Yumi questioned. She pushed back the dark strands of hair the wind kept blowing into her face. "You ate your breakfast, Jeremie's sausage, my eggs, and half of Ulrich's tray!"

"I'm still growing," he explained with a shrug.

"Yeah, fat at this rate," Yumi muttered. She yelped as Odd flung an acorn at her. "Is he always this violent when hungry, Ulrich?" she asked. "Ulrich?"

"Huh?" He wasn't really paying attention though. His eyes caught sight of Emily laughing with another girl as they exited the cafeteria. "Em!" he called. He didn't notice the way Yumi turned to look at him, surprised or the way Odd's eyebrows rose. Emily looked up and waved as he jogged over.

"Hey," she said. She looked at him curiously and glanced over his shoulder at his friends. "What's up?"

"I'm planning on a hike Sunday morning, you in? I think I found the trail your doe uses…"

"Sure, sounds like fun," she replied. "When and where?"

"Seven at the creek?"

"Great, see you then."

"Later." He returned to his friends and frowned. "What?"

"What was that about?" Yumi asked.

"Are we on for this afternoon or not?" Jeremie asked, exasperated.

"Got a hot date?" Odd added. He craned his neck to look around Ulrich. "She's pretty hot. Emma, right?"

"Emily," Ulrich replied. "And no, it's not a date." Odd continued to waggle his eyebrows though and Yumi looked troubled while Jeremie grumbled under his breath and hit keys irritably. Ulrich rolled his eyes and left for class early for once. He wouldn't admit it, but he was excited for Sunday.

. . … . .

"How was your vacation?" Emily asked. They were at the end of their third week of school already. Ulrich looked up from where he was leaning against one of the old oak trees. Emily gave a wave and crossed the narrow path to sit next to him. "How are your classes?"

"They're okay," he replied, ignoring the first question. "How are yours?"

"Busy," she laughed. "I got into Avile's photography class last minute though," she added. He nodded and finished lacing his sneakers.

"That's good. I'm sure you'll ace it."

"I hope so." She offered him a hand and helped pull him up. "So where to today?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "It's so nice out, let's just wander and see if you can find a subject for your first masterpiece this semester."

"Shut-up," she groaned. But her eyes were smiling and it was a pretty day. They picked their way along the path and he held the branches out of the way for her. Every so often they paused so she could snap a picture of a tree or flower or bird. "You still roommates with Odd?"

"Yeah, and he is sorry about that rumor," Ulrich replied. He pointed to a pair of butterflies and she nodded, adjusting the zoom.

"I'm sure," she said a moment later. "I'm not sorry for the punch though."

"I wouldn't be either," he agreed.

"Other than that, you two okay?" He looked at her in confusion. "Last year you weren't so sure about being roomies with him," she reminded.

"I'm still not sure, but yeah, we're okay," he replied. "Look, these are beaver tracks," he said. "They look pretty fresh."

"Well, lead on then," she said with a smile.

/

"So, Odd's cousin…" Emily said. They'd been silent most of the morning. It was still chilly out despite being April and grey clouds hung heavy above them. Ulrich shoved his hands into his pockets. Emily clutched her thermal mug and didn't go on.

"What about Aelita?" he asked finally, carefully.

"She has pink hair." He laughed. "It's surprising. She doesn't seem the type to dye it."

"She wanted to stand out. Everyone in his family has blonde hair," he replied.

"Seems a little drastic." She shivered. "God it's cold out. So is she like Odd? I mean, is she prank-crazy?"

"Nah, she likes to have fun but she's a bit…naïve. She's good with technology though." He smiled. "And she's about as smart as Jer, maybe smarter. Definitely doesn't have Odd's problems with grades."

"That's good," Emily replied. She shivered again. "I'm freezing, can we cut this short?"

"Sure." He shrugged off his jacket and offered it to her. "I'm not that cold," he protested. "Just my hands."

"Thanks," she said as she pulled it on.

They headed back toward the school. "Why are you asking about Aelita?"

"No reason," Emily replied. "I was just surprised. She's the first girl I've seen you hang around that Yumi doesn't get jealous of."

"Yumi doesn't get jealous!" Ulrich protested. Emily leveled a look at him and he shook his head but didn't say anything else.

/

"Your spelling really is terrible," Emily told him. Ulrich rolled his eyes; it wasn't like he hadn't heard  _that_  before.

"I thought you were photographing the deer in the clearing," he retorted. He fanned himself with the notebook and sighed. It was hot for the end of May.

"I was but the wind shifted and they took off." She settled onto the grass next to him and picked up his notebook. He pushed down the feeling of annoyance while she studied his writing. "You feeling better now?"

"Yeah," he lied. "Just a dizzy spell. Probably from not eating breakfast."

"I thought you would have learned after the last two times it happened," she said. She eyed him over the top of his notebook and he ducked his head to work on his essay. "Ulrich?"

"Yeah, well, I overslept," he hedged. Her eyes narrowed a fraction more. "So, want to continue on?"

Emily shook her head and dropped the notebook in his lap. "Why are you so secretive?" she asked.

His face closed down and he grabbed his things. "I should be heading back. I have practice, better eat something beforehand."

"Ulrich!" she called. He didn't turn back and he didn't meet with her the rest of the year.

. . … . .

"I'm sorry, about last time," Emily apologized. They were by the creek again and she was skipping stones across the slow current. Farther upstream a beaver was building a dam. "I shouldn't have pried."

"It's fine."

"I mean, it's not like I talk about a whole lot, huh?" She threw another stone and then turned to Ulrich. He was under a tree drinking from a bottle. "We're friends, right?"

"Of course," he agreed. She nodded and stretched. "So, I hear congratulations are in order," Emily said. Ulrich looked up as she crossed the grass and met him sat next to him. "Marie told me you and Yumi finally got together."

"Oh, yeah," and he smiled at her. She shook her head.

"She mind you hiking?"

"No, probably not."

"With me?"

"Never came up," he replied with a smile. She snorted and thumped him in the shoulder. "Ow."

"I don't want your girlfriend killing me for spending time with me." She ignored his protests. "She would. Did I tell you I found what I think is an eagle nest?"

"You did?"

"Yeah, want to see?"

He got to his feet and pulled her up. "Sure, want some water?" She took the bottle and led him across the creek.

/

He woke to pain in his head. Groaning he reached up to shield his eyes from the bright light. Immediately a hand grabbed his arm and pulled it away from his face. "Ulrich?" a girl's voice questioned. "Ulrich, can you hear me?"

It took him a moment. "Em?" he replied slowly. His voice cracked a little and he winced.

"Oh, God, Ulrich." He heard her voice hitch and he forced himself to look at her. She was crouched next to him, pine needles in her hair and dirt on her face. "I thought you were…I thought…I called Odd."

"Why? What happened?"

"We were in the tree, looking at the nest. The one I found that I thought was an eagle, remember? You got pale all of a sudden and…and fell." Her voice went soft at the end.

"Fell?" He was having trouble keeping up.

"Out of the tree."

"Oh, that explains the headache." She laughed and it sounded wrong. He focused on her face again. "Don't cry, Em. I'm okay." To prove it he forced himself to sit up and almost threw up his breakfast in the process.

"Don't move so fast!" she scolded. Instantly she helped him sit up and maneuvered him to lean against a conifer. She checked the orange watch around her wrist. "Odd should be here soon."

"Ugh, just what I need," he groaned. "You don't know what you've done. He'll lecture me for hours in the dorm."

"Good," she snapped. "What happened up there anyway? You were fine until you passed out." She paused and he saw her eyes harden resolutely. "Did you not eat again? I've told you a hundred times to eat-"

"I always eat," he interrupted. She looked at him in surprise and confusion. "I have vertigo," he said after a moment, looking at the leaves overhead. They swayed but he was almost positive that it was from the wind and not his head playing tricks with him again. "It messes with my balance, with my eyes, with everything."

"Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have brought you up there…"

"That's why. Sometimes I'm okay, sometimes I'm not. I can usually manage the balance okay but sometimes I get double vision and can't focus-"

"Well that explains your writing skills," she said. He saw her smile so he ignored the annoyance. His father had brought up his spelling failures enough times. "You should have told me. You could have died up there."

"Would have saved me a trip if he had." They looked over in surprise as Odd stomped through some bushes. "At least you're awake. From what Em said I thought I'd have to drag you back."

"Hey," Ulrich replied.

Odd's face darkened. "Don't  _hey_  me, Charles." He looked at Emily and ignored the confusion on her face. "Thanks for the call; help me get him up."

"No problem." She helped Ulrich stand and Odd hooked one of Ulrich's arms around his shoulders.

"I can walk, Odd."

"Ten Euros says you fall on your big head after half a step." Ulrich glowered but didn't try to prove it. Odd sighed. "Come on, Nature Boy. Let's get you patched up before Yumi finds out and thinks Emily tried to kill you."

"Yumi wouldn't think that," Ulrich protested. His other arm was around Emily's shoulders and they made surprisingly quick progress back down the trail to the school. As they walked he felt stronger, more sure-footed, even if his head still spun sometimes. Neither of them would listen though and kept him firmly wedged between them.

"Should we take him to the nurse?" Emily asked as they entered the dorm building.

"Nah, I'll monitor him for a bit. Thanks for the help, I can manage from here," Odd said. They looked at the stairs.

"You're sure you can manage?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, I've managed worse," Odd replied.

"Not because of me," Ulrich quickly put in. Emily looked unsure but they were already stumbling up the dorm stairs. They were all glad that most of the boarders slept in on Sundays.

"Hey, Ulrich," she called when they made it to the next landing. The boys paused and looked back at her. She saw Odd grip Ulrich a little tighter. "If you want, I'll be happy to look over your essays and help you study. I don't mind."

She saw him frown and his mouth thinned, shoulders tightened. Odd said something she couldn't make out and finally Ulrich nodded. "Yeah, sure. That would be great."

/

He found Emily taking pictures of ladybugs on dark green leaves the following week. "I'm on strict orders not to climb any trees," Ulrich said.

She turned and smiled. "Good to see you out and about. How's the head?"

"Better," he replied. He caught her smirk and frowned. "What?"

"Nice hickey. Yumi play nursemaid last night?" she teased, laughing. His eyes narrowed.

"Shut-up."

She did, after laughing for what seemed like ten minutes (it was only five, but  _still_ ).

. . … . .

"I'm sorry about you and Yumi," Emily said.

He shrugged and leaned against the tree, reading. It had become almost a ritual, coming out here with some kind of homework to work on after hiking all morning. Emily brought bagels or muffins or fruit and she would offer suggestions and tell him what needed fixing in his essays. He shouldn't have been surprised that the week after they broke up, Emily would bring it up. It seemed as though the whole school was talking about it.

"Yeah, well, you said it yourself. It wasn't the healthiest relationship out there." He took the banana muffin she offered and picked off the nuts.

"Sorry, forgot," she apologized. She rummaged through her bag and extracted two bottles of water. "Need one?"

"I'm good still, thanks."

"Well, it wasn't, but you liked her. How did it end?" He looked at her. "I mean, are you guys still friends or was it…bitter?"

"We're still friends," he replied. He handed her his notebook and she pulled out her orange pen. "I think we both realized it wouldn't work."

"That's good." He smiled and she started crossing out words and fixing sentences. "You need spellcheck," she groaned.

"I can't type with it, all the red makes me disorientated."

" _Uh huh_."

/

"Michel Lavigne asked me out," Emily told him an hour into their hike. He glanced at her, eyebrows raised curiously. "He just transferred; he's a year ahead of-"

"I know who he is," Ulrich interrupted. It was no secret that Michel Lavigne was out to make a name for himself with sports. Rumor had it that he was after Ulrich's spot after he messed up that championship the previous month. "You say yes?"

" _No_." Emily looked surprised that he would even ask. "I am not interested in some jock who doesn't know Van Gogh from Da Vinci," she grumbled. "He may think he looks like a modern-day Adonis but I doubt he even knows where the myth came from."

"Ah," Ulrich replied. He looked around the small clearing. "This looks like a nice spot to rest."

Emily watched him lie on the grass and stare through the latticed branches overhead. "Should I have said yes?"

"What?" He looked at her and then shook his head. "No, you're right. Lavigne's an idiot with a decent ability to shoot."

"I hear it's a little more than decent," Emily replied. Ulrich glared. "You know he's aiming for striker."

"He's defense, there's no way he can go from  _preventing_  goals to  _making_  goals. He'll figure it out. Eventually."

Emily smiled as she sat next to him. "I hear he isn't too swift," she warned.

"I think he'll figure it out."

/

"You okay?" Emily asked. "You've been quiet all week and I haven't seen you after school. Did you get in trouble again?"

Ulrich shrugged. "I'm okay. I've been spending a lot of time in town."

"Really? Why?"

Ulrich plucked wild berries from the bushes and was silent. He glanced over at Emily to see her watching him curiously. "Just visiting the hospital," he said after a moment. "I think I want to be a doctor."

"Really?" She fought to hide her surprise. "I thought you would go on to become some sports star," she admitted at his curious look.

"No, it was just a way to get into the school and guarantee my spot here." Emily continued to look at him. "My grades aren't the best…"

"I thought you were doing better? Are my edits not helping?"

"No, they are. I'm just slow on tests still. All those letters sometimes get jumbled together, you know?"

She tucked hair behind her ear and plucked some berries. "Did you ever think of telling anyone?"

" _No_ ," he replied. She dropped it but three days later he noticed Hertz handed him a suspiciously wide spaced test packet with an encouraging smile.

. . … . .

"I've decided to go to Parsons," Emily announced. Ulrich almost tripped over his own feet. "It's in Aquitaine. I haven't been there before but I hear it's gorgeous. I'm sure you've seen the pictures of the old castles? I would love to photograph some of them."

"Yeah, wow. Is it hard to get into?"

Emily shook her head and snapped a picture of him. "Nice face," she snickered. "No, it's not that hard, I don't think. I have to submit a portfolio and my grades are good enough. As long as I pass everything this year then I'll be good." She smothered a yawn.

"Tired?"

"Yeah, I was up late."

Ulrich bumped her shoulder as he caught up to her. "Had a date?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, I did. And  _no_ , I am not telling you who with."

"I'm not Odd, I won't tell the school," he protested. Overhead birds sang and one sparrow hopped onto a branch to study them. Emily raised her camera and managed to capture it taking flight again. "Come on, Em."

"I'm not telling you, Ulrich. Forget it. But it was very nice and I didn't get to bed until late."

"And by bed you mean…?"

"Get your head out of the gutter!" She nudged him back and he laughed. "You're nearly as bad as Odd."

"Should I take that as a compliment?" he teased. She rolled her eyes and shoved him. The trail was slippery from the rain and he lost his footing, flailed for a moment, and then fell into a midsize mud puddle. He glared up at Emily as she laughed.

"You should pay better attention to where you're walking, Ulrich," she giggled. She let out a yelp as he grabbed her and yanked her down into the mud with him.

/

They were in the breezeway that ran alongside the football field, trying to avoid the bits of snow and slush that swirled in from the open field. They hadn't seen many people this early in the morning. The other students were still in bed and they'd seen a few teachers brave the weather to head to the cafeteria. But the last person they had passed was a janitor putting up  _Caution_ signs on the walkways.

"Have you seen Sissi lately?" Emily asked. She hopped over a puddle of melting snow. "I hate this weather,  _ugh_."

"She's not feeling well," he said.

"I heard Gilles broke up with her. Well, he had to, I guess, since he's left school. Do you know if they ever found out who did that to him?"

Ulrich swallowed and shrugged. He studied the field that was rapidly turning muddy and frozen. "No, they have no idea. Apparently Gilles's memory isn't that great."

Emily nodded and shoved her hands into her pockets. "Not surprising. I saw him, when he and his parents were leaving. His face is pretty messed up, and it looked like his arm was broken. God, I can't believe someone would do that…"

"Maybe he deserved it," Ulrich replied. He felt his bruised knuckles twinge as his hands fisted in his gloves. "I'm sure they had to have had a good reason, with that much damage done." He paused and looked up at Emily. "What?"

"Nothing," she replied. But her face still showed signs of surprise. "I just can't believe you're defending someone that brutal." She sighed and blew brown strands of hair out of her face. "So, how's Sissi taking it? Melodramatically? It seemed like she liked him a lot."

He shook his head slowly. "No, I think she's happy to see him go. She really wasn't feeling well. She should be back in class this week though."

"That's good. At least she got sick after her birthday party."

"Yeah," he agreed after a moment. "Come on, I'm hungry. I think it's slowed enough that if we run we won't get too wet."

/

"Can you believe this is it?" Emily asked. "In two days I'll be graduating and going off to university." She let her bare feet dangle in the creek and smiled as minnows and small fish nibbled at her polished nails.

"I'm going to miss you," Ulrich admitted. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You were the sanity I desperately needed," he said. She laughed and he perched on the log next to her. "You don't realize how…how  _normal_  you made everything."

"Glad to have helped," she replied. "I'm going to miss you too. Even with your terrible spelling ("I improved!" he protested) and your strange knowledge of woodlands. You need to loosen up though, stop being so withdrawn and secretive. I mean,  _mon dieu_ , Ulrich, I found out about your  _sister_  and her accident a year after the fact and from  _Aelita_? You have to be a little more forthcoming."

He laughed. "That's what everyone tells me."

"Then you should listen."

"Well, you're no open book either. Even if I suspected, it took ages for you to tell me about Fleur-"

"That is completely different," Emily interrupted. "Girls are  _supposed_  to be mysterious and alluring. Guys are supposed to be open books." She smiled at him. "I'll write you, every Sunday, okay? And I'll send photos."

"And I'll tell you if the vixen has a new litter, or if the deer return next year with more fawns."

"You better; I've become attached to Demeter-"

"I still say that is the weirdest name for a doe. How can you even tell them apart?"

"It is not!" Emily protested. She elbowed Ulrich and he teetered for a moment before regaining his balance. "And she has the stripe down her nose. Now, remember, I want updates on everything. On whether Demeter has another fawn, and how many kits there are, and if the eagles come back-"

"Okay, okay, Em," he laughed. "I'll write you a whole report."

"I'm not done yet," she replied. She elbowed him again and this time he lost his perch and splashed into the creek. She smiled down at him. "I want updates on you too. How your last year goes, how things are with Odd, if Jeremie and Aelita stay together." He pulled himself out of the creek with lots of splashing and slipping to sit on a rock in the sun. "If Milly and Tamiya manage to get the Chronicle onto the web and tv, even how Yumi likes Sciences Po," she said. "You got that?"

"Yeah, I got it."

For the first time all year she looked worried. "Ulrich?" He looked over at her. "It'll be all right, right? Everything will work out?"

"Yeah, Em, everything'll be fine. You'll have a great time at university. And you'll be a famous naturalist, just like you want." She smiled and relaxed slightly. "And I'll visit you, and then in two years you can visit me wherever I end up."

"Sounds like a plan," she agreed and relaxed fully.

. . … . .

After the speeches were given and the diplomas handed out with the mandatory handshake that left everyone uncomfortable, after the hugs and the tears and the parental congratulations, he looked up to see Emily smiling at him. She had on a lavender dress and her hair was pulled up in some kind of braid and she had a camera in hand (of course).

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," she replied and hugged him. "That your family?"

"The one being overrun by Odd's? Yeah. My parents and my little sister." As if she knew she was being spoken about, Annie looked over at them. Odd noticed, waved at them, and then said something that drew Annie's attention back to him. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Well, I skipped a class and promised my prof that I'd have great pictures to show next week." She waved the camera. "She always says I need to photograph people too."

"I've told you that for years."

"You up for one more hike?" Emily asked. "For old time's sake?"

He looked back at his family. His father was stiff shouldered and withdrawn with his friends' parents; his mother was all teary smiles while Annie was talking excitedly with his friends. He was a little worried about what they were talking about. "Yeah, sure," he said after a moment.

/

"It strange being back?" he asked once they'd passed the outer shrubs. Emily shrugged and kept away from grasping branches.

"It's definitely different. After everything that happened…how's Sissi?"

"She's good. I think I told you that she's heading to London in a couple days."

"You did," she agreed. "That's good; she needs to get away from everything." She snapped pictures of some animal tracks in the dried mud. "Yumi looks happy."

"Yeah, kind of surprised she made it here too."

"I'm not, you guys are all friends. Of course she'd come back for your graduation. How're you and Odd…still not right?"

He shook his head. "No, we're good. We worked it out," he replied.

"Where's he going to school? You never told me."

He stepped over a puddle and skirted a fallen branch. They were headed toward the clearing the deer frequented automatically, he noted. "He's not going to school. He's going to try and make it as an artist."

"Really? In Paris?"

"No, we've decided to stay roommates…"

"So he's going with you to Edinburgh?" she asked. He looked back at her and nodded, ignoring the heat in his face.

"Enough about here, how about you?"

"We'll get to me in a moment," Emily replied. "So do your parents know…?"

"No, and they don't need to. I'm not using their money anymore and therefore they have no need to know about my life."

"Ulrich, they're your  _parents_." He remained silent and she sighed. She removed the pins from her hair and let it loose. "Well, I'm good. I've been seeing someone for a few weeks now. We're getting along pretty good and  _no_ , I'm not giving you any more than that so don't even try. I'll tell you more if we make it to the one-month anniversary."

"Fine," he groaned.

She hid a smile. "I love my photography classes. I'm taking a couple writing/journalism classes too. I'm thinking of doing an internship with Nat'Images," she added. "They have a couple that look interesting. Or maybe National Geographic, I hear they're doing an expedition here next year…"

"Sounds great," he told her. "You'll just have to remember to save vacation time to come visit me."

"In the cold and the wet," she groaned. "Yes, I'll visit the two of you. But you better not have a lumpy sofa."

"Of course not." He stopped suddenly. "Em," he said.

She stepped up next to him. Over the underbrush she could see the clearing that the roedeer liked to frequent. There were six deer there now. "Demeter!" she breathed, seeing the familiar marked doe. Her breath caught and her face broke out in a smile as she grabbed Ulrich's arm. Next to the doe were two white spotted fawns. "Twins!" she hissed happily.

"Twins," he agreed, face unreadable. Emily ignored him, already snapping away before the deer could run off.

For a moment it seemed as though nothing had changed. Watching the deer, seeing Emily at home behind the camera, it was all a familiar sight. And he forgot for a while that he would be having dinner in town with his family and friends. That he was heading back to Germany in the morning, for two weeks. Enough time to pack up his things and see his sister off to America. After that he would head on to England, visit with Eli or Sissi or whatever she decided to call herself now before going on to Scotland.

He was able to forget that this was the last time they would be in here, together, that as soon as they left the cover of the trees things returned to normal. He listened to the soft click of the camera and watched Emily smile and listened to the birds sing and didn't look at the new watch his mother gave him that morning.

Emily's camera fell silent and he looked over to see her putting it away, the small meadow empty. "Well," she said, "I guess it's time to head back."

"Yeah, guess so," he agreed.

She wrapped an arm around his waist and he slung his around her shoulders. They headed back down the trail, toward the school. "Remember what you told me last year? You'll be fine, Ulrich. And at least you won't be alone. Odd'll be there and I  _know_  you two will be fine."

"I know, Em," he replied. The trees began to thin and he could see the stone buildings beyond. He sighed. "It's funny," he said and she looked up at him curiously. "I'm going to miss this place."

She laughed and nudged him as they reached the courtyard. Odd looked over at them and waved but didn't approach. Ulrich saw Sissi lean in and say something to Annie that made Annie's hands flutter excitedly. Aelita waved as well before speaking with one of Odd's sisters. Jeremie was talking with Yumi while the parents all milled about meeting and talking for what was probably the first time in years.

"You won't," she told him. "You'll miss the secretiveness of it, but trust me; it's the people that matter. It's the people you'll miss. But I think you'll be okay."

He smiled back at Odd. "Yeah, we will be," he agreed as they joined the group.


	20. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Cursing, physical abuse (people being beaten up and hints of other unsavory things related to abuse), underage drinking, and Catholicism bashing.
> 
>  **Rating:** PG-13
> 
>  **Author's Note:** If the last chapter was fic-zilla then I don't know what this one is. It's 7,774 words total. Originally there were supposed to be more sections in this part but with the length and time I cut some of them. Two of them will appear in later chapters (which probably works out better anyway) and some will be shifted and altered to fit into other people's Lists. Also, I've included bits of German and Norwegian in this part (I'm pretty sure they're self-explanatory, but if not let me know and I'll give you translations). For the Norwegian I am relying on Google, for the German I'm relying on a faulty memory.

_19\. Sometimes he had to stifle laughter when Jeremie harped about Lyoko-and-XANA being secrets, didn't the blonde realize by now that secrets were his specialty?_

"Remember guys, we can't talk about you-know-what in front of anyone. The last thing we need is someone finding out and trying to shut down the factory," Jeremie instructed. He looked at the three of them expectantly before sighing. "Got it?"

"Yeah," Yumi answered.

"Sure thing, Einstein," Odd added while Ulrich nodded.

"Ulrich? Verbal agreement usually promotes a more binding ideal-"

"Yeah, sure, Jer," Ulrich interrupted. "I got it."

. . … . .

They were sitting in the doctor's office again. It was cold and the human skull sitting on the desk gave him the creeps. Ulrich's mother held tight to his hand while his father kept checking his watch impatiently. Ulrich hadn't paid attention in the car, but he knew his father was upset at being pulled out of a meeting. The door opened and a man with bushy grey hair and a thick moustache flittered into the room.

"Hello, hello, sorry to keep you waiting," he mumbled. His nose was buried in a manila folder and he only glanced up once he was behind his desk. "Charles Stern and family?" he asked.

"I'm Charles Stern," his father said. "My wife, Adelaide…and our son."

"Yes, yes, Charles Jr.," he mumbled and flipped pages. Ulrich didn't care for him much.

"Charlie," his mother corrected.

"Yes, Charlie." He peered through too-big glasses at the boy. "You're what, eight?" Ulrich nodded. "Now, Charlie we're going to do a couple tests, there's no need to worry. You'll just need to read and write some, that's not so bad, right?"

/

"Dyslexia," Dr. Bauer announced after all the tests had been completed. He looked up from his notes to see the drawn faces staring back at him. "The boy has a form of dyslexia," he explained. "It is most likely brought on by the vertigo he experiences." He shuffled some papers. "There's nothing to be concerned about, many children and adults face dyslexia daily and become productive individuals."

"Can it be cured?" his father demanded.

"Carl," his mother hissed.

"What? It's a valid question." He turned to the doctor again. "Can you fix him?"

"There's nothing wrong necessarily. Dyslexia manifests in many forms. In Charlie's case he has issues with letter recognition-"

"Are you telling me my son's an idiot, doctor?" his father growled.

"No, nothing of the sort." Dr. Bauer sighed and pushed aside his notes. "Charlie has an advanced vocabulary. He recognizes and remembers details in stories that are read to him. The disconnect he seems to be facing is in letter recognition. It is my opinion that the vertigo your son was diagnosed with last year is the cause of it. Vertigo has been known to cause double vision, which we've already established happens on occasion with Charlie.

"Now, that could explain his issues with reading, but it doesn't solve his issues with writing," Dr. Bauer continued. "Charlie inverts his letters and swaps similar sounding letters; did he have an issue with talking as a child?"

"He was later than his sister," his mother replied. "But the pediatrician said that was normal with boys." His father snorted and his mother glared at him.

"That's fine. I was referring to letter sounds?  _Aminals_  instead of  _animals_  perhaps? No? Well, each case is different…"

"Can you  _fix him_?" his father demanded again.

"Mr. Stern, Mrs. Stern, there is nothing to be done. There are no treatments. We can improve his reading by reformatting worksheets or by having him practice over and over again. As for reading I will give you this card, when things start to go blurry he is to hold it sideways in front of his nose and focus on it. See how there are three different sized dots on each side? One red and one blue?" He handed the card to Ulrich. "You will focus on it until you turn each of those dots purple, understand?"

"Yes, Sir," he mumbled.

"And that's it?" his father asked. "That's all you can do?"

"That's all that can be done," Dr. Bauer replied. "There is no miracle cure to dyslexia."

"We'll see," his father snapped. "Adelaide, come on, we're leaving." His mother held onto his hand as she followed his father out the door.

In the reception room his mother stopped to speak with the receptionist. His father leaned down and stared hard at him. "Papa?" Ulrich asked.

"You will not tell anyone about this, do you understand?" he questioned. "Other kids won't understand, they'll think you're stupid and slow. You will work hard until we find a doctor who can do something, understand?"

"Yes, Papa," he replied.

He went to seven other doctors that year. His father hounded and badgered and threatened each one. His grades slipped and his father took to yelling at him instead. Heidi read him his homework until his father caught her at it and threatened to fire her ("He needs help, Sir," Heidi explained.

"He needs to practice and learn to stand on his own two feet, not be treated like the idiot he's turning out to be," his father had snapped at her, cutting her off). Annie edited his writing assignments instead and somehow he managed not to fail and fall behind.

The night before he was to board the train to France (and freedom) his father took him aside after dinner and led him into the study. "You remember what I told you four years ago?" his father asked.

Ulrich nodded (even if he didn't). "Yes, Sir."

"It's good you're getting out and doing something. Maybe this is the answer to your improvement. Remember, boy, the others won't understand. You keep your mouth shut about your disability and you keep your head down and you study. This is your fresh start, don't mess it up."

"I won't," he replied.

. . … . .

When he was ten he thought about leaving Annie in the woods.

 _It would be_ so _simple_ , he thought. Annie was walking barefoot through the stream, her legs pale in the sunlight and toes sparkling orange under the clear water.

"Look at the fish!" she called over her shoulder.

He knew Annie wasn't as familiar with the forest as he was. And they were far enough into it that it could be days before she would manage to wander out again. If she managed to. He backed away slowly, toward the elms and the oaks that stood densely a few feet from the banks. He wondered if his parents would notice  _her_  disappearance.

"Oomph!" Annie yelped. She slid in the mud and fell butt first in the stream.

He took her distraction as fate and slipped silently between the trees and out of sight. He could hear her splashing back to her feet, grumbling, and then silence. He ducked behind a bush and peered through the branches toward the stream. He could just see Annie's head from here. She was turning in circles.

"Ulrich?" she called. "Ulrich, where are you?" Birdsong filled the air and beneath it the bubbling of the stream as it hurried downstream. He caught a glimpse of her face, it was pale and anxious. "Charlie!" she called again, urgently. " _Charlie_!  _Char_ les!"

She pushed damp hair out of her face and looked around at the dense trees. He watched her bite her bottom lip before she sloshed out of the stream and across the grassy bank. Her head swiveled this way and that and then she seemed to make a decision. "Charlie!" she yelled. He didn't move as she crashed through the shrubs five feet from his hiding spot.

He followed her quietly, just to see what she would do (to see if she could make it out on her own after all). It was easy to follow unnoticed since she made enough noise. Every so often she would stop and turn in a circle, calling his name. He wondered if she knew she was heading north and not south-west like she was supposed to.

He shook his head and turned away, he'd seen enough. A part of him twinged as he walked away from her.  _It's fine_ , he reasoned.  _It's what you want_ , he reminded himself. And that was true. He was sick of the  _Annie got a perfect score_  and  _Annie's performing for the city officials_  and  _Isn't Annie perfect_  that constantly plagued the dinner table. When they had dinner together anyway. Maybe now his father would see that Annie wasn't as  _perfect_  as he thought. After all it didn't take a genius to figure out how to get out of a forest.

" _CHARLIE!"_

He froze. There had been something in Annie's last call, something that sent his heart racing and his pulse pounding. He turned back, hearing her scream. A low howl followed her scream and then he heard more crashing as she ran. He didn't think, he turned back and ran hard, following the noise.

Annie was running across a clearing he wasn't familiar with. He realized he wasn't really familiar with the area at all; she'd gone farther north than he ever had. As he watched his body froze, his heart quite possibly stopping. A pair of gray wolves were trailing her, howling and yelping. He'd heard of wolves in the east but he hadn't realized they'd come so far west.

"Annie!" he screamed, panicked. The wolves slowed and looked back at him, uncertain now. "Annie, get in the tree!"

She swung herself up into a tree and hooked her legs around a branch. The wolves made low sounds, their ears swiveled forward and backward, and their eyes alternated from looking at him to looking back at Annie. He stood, glaring at them, not sure what else to do. Did he have to make noise or would that antagonize them? If he ran at them would they attack or would they get frightened off?

"Charlie," Annie called. The wolves' ears swiveled at her voice and the tails lowered slightly, swinging slowly.

"Be quiet, Annie," he retorted. She went silent and they watched the wolves. Finally one of them made a low whine and then barked. Its mate returned the bark and then they slunk off into the trees and disappeared.

"Are they gone?"

He waited another moment but they didn't reappear and he didn't hear anything. "I think so," he replied.

He heard a noise and saw her swing down from the tree. She crossed the clearing at a run and flung her arms around him, nearly choking him in her embrace. "Where were you? You were so stupid they could've attacked you! Didn't you hear me? Where  _were_  you?"

"I had to pee," he lied, hugging her back tightly. "I guess I went farther than I intended, I heard you calling and tried to find you."

"Can we go home now?" Annie asked.

"Yeah, let's go." He kept an arm around her shoulder as they walked back.

"You don't know how scared I was," she murmured as they walked. "I thought I'd lost you." His stomach twisted because he did know. He'd almost lost her too.

"You didn't. You'll never lose me," he promised. His arm tightened around her as he thought about what he'd almost let happen. If he hadn't followed her at the beginning he'd have been too far to help… The reality of it set in, set deep in his bones. This was his  _sister_. He wouldn't be able to stand it if he'd been the cause of something happening to her. And he couldn't tell her the truth. Ever.

He read every book about wolves he could get his hands on after, just in case.

. . … . .

Liesel Sophia Stern (nee Weiss) had been an impressive woman. She was the only person Ulrich knew who could intimidate his father. Ulrich's memories of her were of steel grey hair always worn in a knot at the base of her head and a wooden cane she used to tap the floor when she was angry. She had slate colored eyes that seemed to look right through a person.

He was thirteen when she passed.

He returned home for a week after, enough time to visit with cousins and distant family, to observe the funeral, and to be present for the Will reading. Annie lounged around in a black dress that bordered on the edge of inappropriate and shot rubber bands at their older cousins when they weren't paying attention. Ulrich pretended not to notice and supplied the rubber bands silently.

"I don't get it," Annie grumbled. "She was a crotchety old crow. That's what Papa always said. Why all the fuss about her now?"

"It's bad manners to speak poorly of the dead," one of the cousins said. He thought her name was Lili but maybe it was Katja. He could never keep them straight.

"Besides, she was loaded," Edmund-or-Erik replied.

"Yeah," Erik-or-Edmund replied. "Time to see who she favored, the old cow." The boys smirked at each other while the girls all frowned at them.

Ulrich disagreed with them. He had never had a problem with his grandmother. She lived in a town north of them in Lower Saxony. Usually the family gathered there for holidays and her birthday. While his cousins played football outside and his relatives counted the minutes until they could leave, he found himself in the small conservatory off the sitting room with her in the afternoons. Sometimes she spoke nostalgically about the days of the War, the tough times during and the tougher times after it. Sometimes she told stories of Grossvatter Stern. Other times she reminisced about his father's childhood.

/

"I hear you changed your name, Charles," Grossmutter Stern said one day while pruning her roses. She never let anyone else touch her flowers, he'd learned. He was seven and not interested in the board games his cousins teased him about not being able to play properly (it wasn't his fault the words on the cards went twisty sometimes).

"Ulrich," he told her. He took the thorny branches she handed him carefully.

"You were named after my husband," she told him. "And my son. That's a legacy, there."

"Why can't I be my own legacy?" he asked. He wasn't sure what exactly a legacy was but it was a word his family liked to throw around a lot. She turned to look at him, silvery eyebrows pulled tight across her forehead. "Oma?"

"My son might be wrong about you, Ulrich," she said finally. "Hand me the watering can and don't spill."

/

The funeral was moderate-sized. His relatives all gathered, decked out in black from their hats to their shoes, members of the community and some of his grandmother's friends filled the church. The priest led the mass and he saw his aunts cry and his uncles stand as straight as his father.

"This is boring," Annie hissed in his ear.

"Sh," their mother scolded. Their father gave them a look and Annie tried to look appeasing behind her black veil. His mother's fingers trembled as they wrapped around his hand.

After the mass they traveled in solemn groups in solemn cars to the solemn graveyard that looked eerie in the misting weather. His father gave a short speech, his Tante Katharine gave a weepy one, his Onkel Fritz joked about some prank he'd been reprimanded for as a child, and his Tante Viktoria made sobbing noises into a handkerchief.

He took Annie's hand in his and they walked up together to put the lilies on the polished coffin lid. His mother smiled encouragingly and his father's jaw tightened minutely. His relatives left after the casket was lowered and the first shovel full of dirt landed.

His father didn't let them leave until the grave was filled.

/

At nine he found her sitting on a wicker chair with a blue plaid blanket tucked tightly around her. Her eyes were closed but he didn't think she was sleeping. He was proven right when one eye cracked open and she snapped, " _What_?"

"Tante Katharine said you were sick, Oma," he replied.

"Did she now? I see you're here. Are the vultures circling already, Ulrich?" she asked.

He checked the window and shrugged. "I think it's a white tail eagle, the wings aren't bent right to be a vulture." She laughed and sat up straighter. "You don't look sick," he noted.

"That's what everyone tells me," she replied. She eyed him tiredly. "You know you aren't half bad."

He smiled at her. "You aren't as bad as Onkel Fritz says either." She snorted and looked out the windows at the trees.

"Small miracle," she muttered. He wanted to ask her what she meant but her eyes were closed again already and this time he was pretty sure she was asleep.

/

"Mutter's in a better place now," Tante Viktoria said at supper. She picked at her salad and nursed a glass of wine that had been refilled three times already. Her light brown hair was falling out of its twist and the light cast by the chandelier caused her pearls to glint dully around her pale throat.

"Oh, yes," Onkel Fritz said. "What time's the meeting with the litigator tomorrow?" he asked. His hair was still gelled back and his slate colored eyes drifted to his watch periodically. "I have to catch the train back to Bern at one…"

"Mutter just passed, Fritz!" Tante Viktoria exclaimed. "You couldn't have taken a day off?"

"Don't pretend to be a saint, we know you aren't," his father grumbled.

"I did, I'm here aren't I?" Onkel Fritz demanded loudly. His tan face was turning blotchy with wine and temper. "Katharine, talk sense to her."

Tante Katharine shrugged. "We're meeting with him at nine, should be rather quick. The woman hated everyone, I'm sure she left the money to charity."

"Unlikely," his father said. "She hated charity even more." The adults broke into laughter and their voices carried as more wine was poured.

"Bet we get it," Erik-or-Edmund murmured at their end of the long table. "Grossmutter always liked Mutter best."

"Shove it," Corina-not-Katja snapped. She tossed her red-brown hair over a shoulder and leaned into the table. "Grossmutter hated Tante Viktoria and Onkel Eduard. She'll leave it to Mutter or no one."

"Don't be so sure, Corina," Annie replied. "Papa is oldest-"

"No, my Mutter is," Lili retorted. "And we visited every weekend."

"Tante Viktoria's an actress. Grossmutter had no patience for those people. And the  _shame_  she brought, not marrying  _Onkel_  Eduard? Never," Corina hissed.

Lili went pale in the face and her slate eyes narrowed. "Fuck off, don't talk about our Mutter like that," Edmund-or-Erik growled.

"Your Mutter is a cow and a bitch, Corina," Erik-or-Edmund added.

" _How dare-_ "

"Maybe she'll leave it to Onkel Fritz," Ulrich interrupted. His cousins looked at him in shock, as though they'd forgotten he was present. Annie shot him a grateful look across the table and bumped her foot against his.

They all looked down the table at where Onkel Fritz was laughing at something Tante Katharine's husband, Onkel Marius, had said. "Well, now you're just talking crazy," Lili laughed.

"Yeah, everyone knows Onkel Fritz hated her most," Corina added.

"Who's seen the new  _Harry Potter_  movie?" Annie jumped in quickly, distracting them.

/

"How's that new school of yours?" Grossmutter Stern demanded. "A French education, what is this world coming to?" she asked the empty conservatory.

"It's good, Oma," he told her. "I have a roommate, his name is Odd. I think he's Norwegian."

"You  _think_?"

"Well, we don't really talk about our homes," he admitted. He watered the plants she pointed to from her wicker chair. "Eli's there."

"The French girl you and your sister played with? The one whose mother-"

"Do you want this one watered too?" he interrupted quickly. Even with Eli not around he felt uncomfortable hearing about her mother, as if it would be betraying her. He gestured to the lilies.

"If the soil's dry then yes. So how is this Eli? What are you learning at this school?" she questioned.

He felt the soil and then poured in some water. "She's good. She changed her name to  _Sissi_."

"You changed yours to Ulrich," she reminded. "Still don't understand  _why_ … No, no, no. Don't water  _that_  one; you'll float it right out of the pot." She waved him away from the purple flowers. "Think you can manage to trim my roses without killing them?"

"I can try, Oma," he replied. She had a funny look on her face when he looked at her. "What? Are you feeling ill again?"

"No, no," she shook her head and pulled herself together. "Go ahead and try, and while you're at it tell me what they're teaching you at this  _school_."

/

Herr Schmidt was a balding man in his mid-fifties. He had a protruding stomach and delicate wrists. He wiped his forehead with a handkerchief every thirty-two seconds (Ulrich had counted). He stared at the family in his conference room and cleared his throat before donning an over-sized pair of wire rim glasses.

"This is the Last Will and Testament of Frau Liesel Sophia Stern, nee Weiss," he announced. He was met with impatient looks and silence. "In regard to my children: to my eldest, Katharine Alexis Gott, nee Stern, I bequeath to you the china and silverware in the Lower Saxony house." He paused and his face reddened. "You have seemed to take pleasure stealing bits of it for years, now it is yours."

Tante Katharine's face flamed red. "I  _never_ ," she protested.

"We all knew, Kat," Onkel Fritz snickered. Tante Katharine glared at her youngest brother. "Continue," he added to the reddened lawyer.

"To her husband, Marius Conrad Gott, I leave the Van Gogh on the second floor of the Lower Saxony house. The one you've eyed since you married my daughter," Herr Schmidt recited. Ulrich looked over to see Onkel Marius grinning. "To my son, Charles Ulrich Stern II I leave his father's gun-and-knife collection as well as all the various accoutrements used with hunting with the hope that he puts them to good use."

His father looked surprised, and then moderately pleased.

"To his wife, Adelaide Isabell Stern, nee Haas, I leave the house in Greece in the hope that it will aide her recovery." All eyes turned in surprise to Adelaide and Ulrich saw the shock on his mother's face. "To my second son, Fritz Adrian Stern, I bequeath to you the townhouse in Berlin to do with as you wish." Onkel Fritz grinned happily while Tante Katharine's eyes narrowed.

"To my youngest, Viktoria Margarete Hoffman, nee Stern, I give you the ruby set you've had your eye on for thirty-two years, provided you haven't smuggled it out." Ulrich watched Tante Viktoria shift so that her hair covered the rubies glinting on her ears.

"To my grandchildren: To Edmund Dominik Hoffman I leave you the Volkswagen. To Erik Dominik Hoffman I leave the BMW. To Lili Margarete Hoffman I leave the Porsche." All three looked up with surprised grins. Viktoria looked pleased as she patted each of her children.

"To Corina Wilhelmine Alexis Gott, I give you the Mercedes-Benz your Grossvatter was so fond of." Corina looked pleased and she exchanged grins with the three other cousins. "To Hannelore Liesel Stern," Herr Schmidt paused and coughed. "I bequeath to you the house in Lower Saxony along with all its remaining possessions. It is to be kept in trust for you until you are of age and then you may do as you wish with it."

There was a stunned silence in the room. Annie's face turned crimson and she studied her folded hands in her lap to avoid the eyes. "And lastly, to my Enkel, Charles Ulrich Stern III, I leave all accounts and funding as well as the rest and remainder of my property and estate of every kind and character, including, but not limited to, real and personal property in which I may have an interest at the date of my death and which is not otherwise effectively disposed of. In the case that I should perish before he is of age, then these properties and funds shall be held in trust until he reaches the age he is considered legal at which time all funds and properties will be given to him."

If it had been silent before, it was a vacuum now. All eyes turned to him and Ulrich felt his pulse begin to pound anxiously. Very slowly his father got up from the table and left the room without looking or speaking to him. After he left the room erupted into chaos and Ulrich felt a migraine coming on.

/

"How was the funeral?" Odd asked. Yumi hit him in the arm. "What was that for?" he whined.

"You have  _no_  tact," she replied. "You okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah, it was fine."

"So did she leave you anything?" Odd asked. He ducked the crumpled paper ball Yumi hurled at his head.

"Hey!" Jeremie yelped as it hit him in the head. He threw it back at Odd and hit him in the head, smirking as the ball got stuck in Odd's hair.

"Uh, no, not really," Ulrich lied. He didn't add that his father still hadn't spoken or looked at him. That Annie stared at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. That his mother lied and told him everything would be fine.

He didn't tell his friends he was left a small fortune because he didn't want them to hate him too.

. . … . .

Sissi's chest rose and fell steadily beneath his sweatshirt. Carefully he draped his blanket over her and brushed a strand of black hair off her tear-streaked face. She mumbled something into his pillow and shifted but didn't wake. He looked at her, looked at her hard.

Her hair was loose and tangled something fierce. Her eyes were ringed black and some of her mascara-eyeliner-eye shadow had dripped down her cheeks. He felt his stomach tighten as he looked at the arm that hung over the side of the bed, the sweatshirt sleeve had ridden up enough to expose the thick bruise around her wrist. He felt sick all of a sudden.

She whimpered in her sleep, knees drawing up to her chest. Suddenly she thrashed and he had to move fast to avoid her clawing hand. "El," he murmured. "El, it's okay." She shuddered and lay still, breath coming quicker in her sleep. Kiwi crossed the room and leapt up next to her. He circled twice before burrowing in against her stomach, muzzle on her shoulder.

"Good boy, Key," Odd whispered across the room.

Ulrich stared at her as her arm wrapped around the dog. He looked at the tear marks, the bruises, and the cut on her lip that had crusted over again. He didn't feel sick anymore. Now he felt angry. He shoved his feet in his sneakers and grabbed a jacket.

"Where are you going?" Odd asked.

"Get some air; keep an eye on her, yeah?" Ulrich replied. He was out the door before Odd could reply.

/

Beaumont was in the empty courtyard with three of his friends. They were laughing and elbowing each other as they goofed around in the gathering dark. He leaned against a tree and watched them through narrow eyes.

"Stern, Beaumont, Gray, Matthews, Lakal – curfew!" Jim barked as he rounded the corner.

"Come on, Jim, five more minutes!" one of the boys protested.

"No, now go on and get to bed." Jim glowered until the group dispersed. "I mean it Lakal, you know the rules."

"I'll catch up," Beaumont told Matthews. "I forgot my game."

"Sure thing," Matthews replied. The boys jostled their way into the dorm and Jim followed them, glaring. Beaumont returned to the bench he'd been at, searching for the game cartridge he'd dropped.

Ulrich fell into step just behind the boys. "Hey, Beaumont!" he called.

The brown head lifted. "Stern, right?" he asked uncertainly. "You're Sissi's friend?"

Ulrich lunged, taking the older boy by surprise. He was lucky, shoving him back until they toppled over the shrubs on the edge of the courtyard. Immediately they were shielded by the trees and gloom of the woods where the lights didn't reach.

"What the Hell?" he growled. He shoved him and managed to get to his feet. "What the fuck is  _wrong with you_?"

"The fuck is wrong with me? What about you?" He lunged again, relying on instinct alone. Beaumont darted left and Ulrich swung, fist connecting with teeth and gums. Beaumont hollered and Ulrich shoved him back again, knocking his head against a tree and trying to stifle the noise he was making. "She told me," he growled.

Beaumont froze and then gave a bloody smile. "Sissi didn't tell you shit. She's a fucking liar anyway. Why do you think I left her?"

Beaumont swung at him and Ulrich was too slow. Beaumont's fist connected with his eye and he staggered back. The older boy shoved him down, pinned him and dripped blood as he smiled. "What, jealous I got to her first?" He pressed his arm to Ulrich's throat and leaned in. "I can't wait to get you expelled finally."

He grabbed the arm pressing on his throat and twisted, managing to unsettle and swing Beaumont off. There was a  _crack_  and Beaumont gave a howl as the bone in his arm snapped. "God dammit!" he howled. "Help! Help, he broke my arm!"

There was a rustle in the bushes and Odd appeared, looking worried. "Fuck," he moaned. "Someone's bound to hear him screaming, Ulrich, didn't you  _think_?" There was a muffled squawk when Ulrich's fist connected with his jaw again. Beaumont fell silent and he maybe shouldn't have done that but (he realized) he was his father's son and hadn't learned to control his temper just yet. "Well," Odd sighed, "that's one way to keep him silent."

He pushed through the bushes. "Oops, sorry," he apologized as his shoe connected with Beaumont's jaw. The boy didn't respond. "My bad." He grabbed Ulrich and hauled him up. "Come on, I hear voices," he hissed. They looked down at Beaumont. His chest was heaving and his eyes were closed, arm bent at a wrong angle. "Remind me not to make you mad," he added softly.

Ulrich tapped Beaumont's cheek with his sneaker and his head rolled to one side. "Passed out I think."

"Good for us, come on," Odd said. He grabbed him by the arm and pulled him through the woods. They had to circle back from the football field and pick the lock on the side door, but they made it without being seen.

/

He felt exhilarated when he found out Gilles Beaumont had a broken jaw and his arm was broken in two places. He was lucky Gilles needed his jaw wired shut so he couldn't tell anyone. It wasn't justice, not by a longshot, but it was enough. It had to be enough.

Sissi found him the morning after. She was in long sleeves and her hair was down. The bruise on her jaw and the cut on her cheek were hidden by a layer of make-up. Her eyes narrowed at him. She grabbed him by the arm, pulled him away from his friends and into (of all things) a janitor's closet. "Did you do that?" she demanded in a whisper.

"Do what?" he asked, innocent.

"You  _know_  what, Charles Stern," she growled. "My father is looking into this thing seriously. There are inquiries. Gilles's doped up now but when he comes around-"

"His jaw's busted, El," he told her. "He won't be able to talk for a while."

"No, but he can write you idiot. And even if he couldn't he'll be able to talk one day. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking he needed to be taught a lesson," he replied softly.

"There will be  _questions_ , Ulrich. About why and what happened and, Ulrich, everyone will know-"

He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. Her body shuddered against his as her arms wrapped around him. "They should know," he murmured into her hair. "You should tell your da-"

" _No_. You can't tell, Ulrich. Promise me you won't tell.  _Please_."

"I won't," he murmured back. He hugged her tighter and wished Odd hadn't interrupted him. He wouldn't have minded breaking Beaumont's neck. "I won't tell, Eli, you can trust me."

When Delmas called him to his office three days later he kept his promise by keeping his mouth shut (and if his eyes told a different story, well, he couldn't help that).

. . … . .

He maybe got a little too invested in drinking (at sixteen).

It wasn't like he was an alcoholic. He just…liked it.

He smuggled bottles of his mother's best wine, wrapped in sweatshirts and hidden in the bottom of his luggage. After curfew he'd sneak some of Delmas's 12-year-old scotch from his cabinet. Delmas never knew (he barely drank it, just liked to display it). Sometimes he took the ale or vodka Jim kept hidden in his office (but not too often because Jim might figure it out).

It wasn't like he did it often. Just…when he needed to.

When the world got crazy and he needed to forget for a while and get lost. He'd slip off to the factory (abandoned for good this time, now that X.A.N.A. was finished) with a bottle and try and regain some sense of calm, some sense of control.

It wasn't like he couldn't stop. He just…didn't want to.

Sitting in the factory, taking swigs from a glass bottle, listening to the sound of rodents in the crates. Leaning against one of the old scanners, feeling the stagnant air cool on his skin while he drank his emotions silent. He didn't mention it and no one noticed.

It wasn't like he showed up to class hung over (or drunk). He just…had a headache (and a speech impediment, maybe).

He let the world slide by in buzzing noises and half-coherent sentences. Aelita gave him puzzled looks behind her safety goggles. Jeremie told him to  _watch what you're doing, are you trying to spill the magnesium_? Sissi gave him a worried look from two tables over and when Hertz summoned him to her desk at the end of class he found himself numb and not really caring.

(It wasn't like anyone noticed. He just…didn't notice when they did.)

"Ulrich, are you all right?" she asked.

"Yes," he said (and maybe it was the truth this time).

She frowned at him. "Do I smell…?"

"Ulrich, come on, we'll be late!" Odd skipped his way over and smiled brightly at Mrs. Hertz as he put a reassuring (supporting) arm around Ulrich's shoulders. "Sorry, Mrs. H, he seemed to be coming down with a cold last night. I may have put too much cough syrup in his cocoa this morning."

Mrs. Hertz gave them an impenetrable look. "Make sure it doesn't happen again, Mr. Della Robbia."

"You got it," he promised. He flashed another bright smile at her and dragged Ulrich out. "Go lay down," he hissed. "I'll tell Jim you're sick. Again."

It wasn't like he had a problem (until he did). He just…didn't feel like stopping (until he did).

His head pounded. It sounded like hammering. He was never drinking again he promised himself (again). He grabbed a bottle of aspirin and downed three. The pounding continued and he realized that it was someone knocking on the door. Groaning, he rolled off the bed and stumbled across the room. He opened the door to Sissi standing there. Her hair was tangled, her jaw bruised and eyes ringed in black make-up.

"Sis-"

She was in his arms before he could finish talking. His arms wrapped around her, felt her body tremble and her voice was thick with the tears he felt soaking into his shirt. "I'm sorry," she was saying, "I didn't know where else…I'm sorry but can I…? I don't want to be alone, not now.  _Please_ ,  _Charlie_ …"

He held her tighter, kicked the door shut behind her and pulled her onto his bed. He traced the bruises on her wrists and felt something bubbling inside him. She pulled her arm away and leaned against the wall. "What happened, Eli?" he asked.

"I can't, Ulrich." Her voice was shattered. "Don't make me tell."

"I thought you were at dinner with…" he trailed off as she flinched and looked away. "Eli, tell me what happened. Elisabeth!"

She shook her head and sat on his bed crying silently. He handed her a long sleeved shirt and an old pair of sweatpants. She didn't say anything as she changed. She didn't say anything when Odd came in thirty minutes later, already laughing and exclaiming about whatever he and Aelita had been up to. She didn't say anything when Odd asked her  _what happened_? She curled up on his bed and drifted to sleep.

And afterwards he didn't drink. He wondered if he should thank her (instead he traded his secret for hers and maybe they're still just as messed up as before).

. . … . .

"I didn't know you were religious," Jeremie said. Ulrich looked at him.

"What?"

"The cross," Jeremie said. He gestured to the small cross that had slipped out from under his shirt.

"Does it matter?" Ulrich asked.

"Nah, just something else to add to the list of things you never tell us," Yumi teased. She reached over his lunch tray and took Aelita's orange while Aelita pilfered Jeremie's sausage.

"I didn't think it was anyone's business," Ulrich replied finally. He batted Odd's fork away from his éclair.

"It isn't," Jeremie admitted. "Does anyone not want their brussel sprouts?" Immediately four servings of brussel sprouts were spooned onto his plate. "It doesn't matter; I just can't believe people still believe in God when science has shown us-"

"Do you go to Church?" Aelita interrupted. Ulrich shrugged and stole Odd's chips while he was sneaking Yumi's éclair. "What denomination?"

"Catholic," he said after a pause. Odd gave him a look that he ignored. "How was your math test, Yumi?" he asked.

"It was fi-"

"Who gave you the cross?" Aelita persisted. She leaned across the table to study the necklace.

"Gee, Ai, it's no big deal. It's just a cross." He looked at Jeremie pleadingly.

"Yes, Aelita," Jeremie said. He speared a brussel sprout. "Church is nothing but an organization that preys on the simplistic beliefs of the uneducated. I don't know why you'd be interested in that." He twirled his fork and looked around the table.

"Jeremie," Yumi said, voice hard.

"The cross itself is a symbol of blind following with no real thought-" Jeremie continued. He broke off, staring as Ulrich got up and left the cafeteria. "What?" he asked as the others looked at him. "Why are you looking at me?"

"Sometimes you worry me," Aelita muttered. She looked over at Yumi as she stood and gathered her things. "Are you going after him?"

Yumi's face creased in momentary confusion and then she shook her head. "No, I have a make-up exam in history to get to. Later guys." She waved as she left.

Aelita turned to Odd who was pilfering the chips and éclair on Ulrich's tray. "What about you?"

Odd looked guilty. "I'm  _hungry_ , Princess," he protested. He ignored the two trays he had weaseled out of Rosa the lunch lady, or the half a tray of things he stole from his friends.

Aelita rolled her eyes. " _Boys_ ," she groaned. She gathered her things and left the cafeteria quickly.

Jeremie turned to Odd confusedly. "I don't get it, why'd he leave?" he asked.

Odd shook his head. "You just insulted his beliefs to his face, Einstein. He's probably going to take that personally," he said around a mouthful of cream-filled éclair.

/

"Ulrich!" He looked over when he heard his name. Aelita was hurrying up the front steps behind him. He caught the door and she grinned up at him. "Thanks. I'm sorry about Jeremie, he's very scientific."

"I know, Ai," Ulrich said. He smiled at her. "I'm friends with him too."

"Did he offend you? He didn't mean to, really," she explained. "He just gets invested-"

"I wasn't offended, it's okay," he said. "Honestly, I don't really care. Sometimes I forget I'm even wearing it. I'm not that religious, Ai."

"Then why do you wear it?" she asked. They took the main stairs toward the science wing. The halls were still empty from students being in lunch.

"My mom gave it to me," he said finally. "I've worn it since I was seven. It'd be weird not to wear it anymore." She nodded. "Why do you keep asking about it?"

"Well," she twirled a strand of pink hair. "Since I've been, uh,  _back_ , I've been curious. I haven't been to a church in years. I can't even remember what religion I was actually," she added in a softer voice. "But it's interesting, so many people believing in something else. And I mean if people can create worlds now, what's to say there  _isn't_  something else?"

"Ai-"

"I mean, what's to say that  _we_  aren't in a created universe? Just like Lyoko? Maybe God could be outside, watching us through a super computer right now," she finished. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"Nothing, just thinking about it." He nudged her shoulder as they sank to the floor outside their classroom. "You really mean that? About wondering about church?"

"Yeah, why?" she asked. She looked up at him curiously.

"You want to go with me Sunday? I haven't been in a while either. It could be…well, not  _fun_ , but maybe interesting?" He shrugged. "It's better than going alone anyway."

"Yeah!" Her eyes lit up and she hugged him. "That sounds fun."

. . … . .

He saw his parents before they saw him. His father's dark head was pivoting this way and that way, no doubt trying to remember the layout of the school. Ulrich doubted that his father would stoop to ask someone for directions. His mother looked thinner than he remembered, her skin a little greyer. She held his father's arm and turned to call over her shoulder. That's when he saw Annie bringing up the rear, eyes focused on her phone as she texted.

"Ready?" Odd asked.

"No," Ulrich replied. He groaned and adjusted his tie while Odd smirked at him.

"It won't be so bad. Come on, I'll walk over with you." Ulrich sighed and began to approach them. All of a sudden there was an ear-piercing squeal and he turned to see Aelita running toward them. Jeremie trailed her looking amused and uncomfortable in his clothing.

"Can you believe it? We're  _graduating_!" Aelita exclaimed. She threw her arms around Odd and Ulrich and kissed them both on the cheek. She left a smear of pink lip gloss but didn't seem to care. "Out of Kadic and into the  _world_! The whole world this time and not just this little town, not that Kadic isn't great. Or the rest of the world, Norway is very nice and all and  _what_ , Jeremie?"

"It's just…this doesn't change things," he reminded them. He'd been reminding them all year. "Just because we're not here anymore and the," his voice dropped, "the factory isn't here anymore doesn't mean we can let our guards down and talk about things. Right?"

Ulrich rolled his eyes and exchanged exasperated looks with Odd and Aelita. "Come on guys, right?" Jeremie repeated.

"Right," Aelita chirped, eyes smiling.

"Right," Odd replied.

He didn't understand Jeremie's constant preaching about keeping Lyoko a secret. He was sure they could manage to keep it a secret still, especially now that Lyoko was shut down permanently. And after all, he'd shut his mouth and hadn't said anything for five years, even when things went wrong, even when they all started suffering some sort of Lyoko-side effect because that's what he did. He stayed silent and carried on like nothing was going on.

"Ulrich?" Jeremie asked. He looked at him questioningly. "Like I've told you a hundred times before, verbal responses are more binding and-"

"Yeah, Jer. It's a secret," he interrupted. Jeremie looked relaxed for the first time all morning.

"Good, good. Oh, I think our parents have found us.  _Remember_ …"

"We remember," Aelita soothed.

"Hello Mor, hello Far," Odd greeted the two blonde adults that arrived first. "Where are, oh never mind. I see them."

The woman laughed and hugged him. "Odd, behaving?" his father asked.

"Of course he isn't," his mother teased. "Ulrich, nice to see you again. Hello, Aelita."

"Oh, hello Tante Kaia, hello Onkel Halvor. How are you?" Aelita said.

Ulrich wasn't sure what exactly he'd been expecting when his parents joined him. Annie flashed him a bright smile and gave him a quick hug before slipping off to meet the rest of his friends. His mother was teary eyed and smiling as she wrapped him in a firm hug. "You did it," she murmured in his ear. "Good job, Charlie."

She excused herself to speak with the other parents that had gathered. Ulrich looked up at his father and waited to see what he would say. If he was being honest with himself (which he never was) he knew he was waiting to see if his father would finally tell him  _good job_  or  _I'm proud of you_. But he knew his father would never do that. Charles Ulrich Stern II was a man of habit and habit did not show a tendency towards sentimentality.

"Papa," Ulrich said after a moment.

His father looked at him hard. He reached over, adjusted Ulrich's tie. "You've made your mother happy, Ulrich." Ulrich looked up at him in surprise. "Think you would've learned how to tie a proper tie by now though, boy."

If he was honest with himself, Ulrich would admit to wanting to  _finally_  hear his father say he was proud (seventeen years is a long time to wait). If he was paying attention, he might have realized that in his own way, his father did. But Ulrich had learned to keep things hidden, keep things secret, and often times he was best at keeping things hidden from even himself.


	21. Envy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Underage drinking.
> 
>  **Rating:** PG-13
> 
>  **Author's Note:** Woo, a shorter chapter. I really like the dynamic between Ulrich and Aelita because I feel like it can be portrayed in a lot of different ways and I love that. Of course, this is mostly focused on instances on where Ulrich would envy Aelita, but still...lol. The second part is shameless self promotion/a resurrected fic idea. I wrote one fic titled _The Lost Boys_ featuring Yumi and I wanted to write one called _Briar Rose_ featuring Aelita but lost inspiration halfway through. But I still liked the parallel so I made sure to squeeze it in here.

_20\. He never said it aloud, but he envied Aelita._

That first winter was bitingly cold. The wind swept in from the north bringing the smell of ice and the promise of snow. The nights were long and the days were shadowed by the low slung clouds that hung heavy overhead. He hadn't experienced a winter like that in years.

"You look like a marshmallow," Odd told him, smirking. Ulrich ignored him as he shrugged a heavy coat on over his sweater-and-shirt-and-undershirt. "This is mild compared to where I live."

"Well we don't all live in the arctic," Ulrich bit out.

"I don't live in the arctic," Odd grumbled.

"You live in Norway," Ulrich reminded him. "I visited you there. It was cold and I think it was snowing in July…"

"That was rain, you idiot," Odd snorted.

"Snow," Ulrich persisted.

"Whatever, Ricky. Here, I'll fix your scarf." There was still a twitch of a smile in the corner of Odd's mouth, a subtle glint to his eyes as he adjusted the scarf for better wind protection. "There. Come on, breakfast time! I'm starved."

"You're always starved," Ulrich grumbled. But he followed the other boy out of the room and down the stairs. " _Great_ ," he groaned, seeing the courtyard covered in a thick layer of snow.

"Ulrich! Odd!" They turned back to see Aelita descending the stairs. She was bundled up in a dark green winter coat, hands hidden in pink knit gloves. "Why are you just standing there?"

"Ulrich's working up the courage to brave the big bad cold," Odd teased.

"Shut-up," Ulrich growled, elbowing him. Odd laughed and darted outside.

"Brr, its cold this morn…" Aelita trailed off. He looked over to see her eyes wide as she stared out over the courtyard. "It  _snowed_."

"Yeah," Ulrich grumbled.

But she was already halfway down the front steps of the dormitory. She squealed and laughed as Odd tossed a snowball at her halfheartedly. Ulrich leaned against the brick and watched his friends throwing clumps of soft white at each other. Odd got a handful in Aelita's hair and she retaliated by dropping a handful down the back of his shirt. He howled, dancing around and trying to get it out and Ulrich couldn't help but laugh.

Aelita pulled off one of her gloves, stuffed it in her pocket. He watched as she scooped up some snow and ran her bare fingers over it. "You'll get hypothermia doing that," he warned her. She looked up at him and smiled wide.

"I don't care. It's  _snow_."

Reluctantly he pushed himself off the wall and went over to her. Odd was still trying to get the last of the snow out of his shirt. He pitched his voice low as other students began to appear. Milly and Tamiya joined Odd in another impromptu snowball fight and soon Thomas and Sebastian and Heidi were in on it too. "I don't know why you're so fascinated with it. It's not like there wasn't an ice sector in Lyoko," he said softly.

She looked around nervously. She still wasn't sure about mentioning it by name. Jeremie's paranoia had rubbed off on her. "There was ice," she said. "Never snow. I'd forgotten what snow was like. It's beautiful and soft and fun. It's like a whole other world out here, Ulrich." Her voice was soft and her eyes gleamed as she stared at the white drifts.

He stared at her for a moment, then looked at the snow again. He still couldn't see it. It still just looked like cold mush that would make his shoes and socks wet and leave his feet freezing. He sighed and grabbed her by the waist, dumping her into a thick patch of snow. She squealed and looked up at him, surprise evident in her eyes when he settled onto the ground next to her.

"Then I guess you should learn how to make a snow angel," he told her. He laid back, shuddering as some of it managed to slip down his collar despite the scarf. He hated snow. "Then we'll move onto snow men."

She laughed as he taught her the proper way to make a snow angel.

. . … . .

" _Peter and Wendy_ ," Yumi said. She shrugged at the looks the others gave her. "What? I liked the idea of living on an island where you didn't have to grow up."

"I don't know, it seems a bit…immature for you, Yumers," Odd said.

"It is not!" Yumi protested. She glared at the blonde. "Well then what's your favorite childhood story?"

Odd shrugged. "It's a toss-up between  _Cinderella_  and  _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_."

"I get  _Alice_  but  _Cinderella_ …?" Ulrich asked.

"It was appropriately gruesome with the heel-chopping. Plus she had evil stepsisters and I had evil sisters so I could relate."

"Odd, I'm sure they didn't make you a slave," Jeremie reasoned.

"Obviously you haven't met my sisters," Odd grumbled. "So what about you, Einstein? Do you have a favorite story from when you were a kid? And don't say it was your first computer manual, even if it  _is_  true." Jeremie narrowed his eyes. "Oh my God, it was, wasn't it?" Odd snorted.

"Leave Jeremie alone," Aelita scolded.

"Come on Jer, you had to have liked one story as a kid," Yumi enticed.

"As a matter of fact I was very fond of  _The Prince and the Pauper_ ," he sniffed. "At the time it seemed more realistic than a  _flying boy_  or a silly girl following rabbits down  _magic_  rabbit holes but of course, as I grew older, I realized it was just another fairytale."

"You suck the fun out of being a kid, Einstein," Odd groaned. He leaned against Ulrich and shook his head at Jeremie. "Sometimes I try to imagine you as a little kid but I just can't picture it," he lamented.

" _Odd_ ," Aelita warned. "Leave him alone. After all, I haven't got a favorite fairytale either." She shrugged. "In fact I don't think I know any."

" _What_?" Odd demanded. He sat up straight and looked like he had been electrocuted. "You don't know  _any_?"

Aelita bit her lip but shrugged and shook her head. "Not that I remember," she admitted.

/

He wasn't sure what possessed him to do it, but he turned up outside her door after Odd had fallen into a deep snore. Aelita opened the door looking confused. She was dressed for bed in an oversized blue shirt and a pair of pants that had owls on them. "Ulrich?" she asked. Her eyes wandered the empty hall and she pulled him inside before anyone spotted them. "What is it?"

"Nothing," he replied. He shifted from one foot to another before holding out the book he'd dug out of the bottom of a suitcase in the back of his closet.

"What is it?" she asked. She took the old book from him, studied the cover and flipped a few pages slowly.

"It's a book of Grimms' Fairy Tales," he told her. "My, uh, my housekeeper used to read them to me." She looked up at him curiously through pink bangs. "You said you didn't know any fairytales, now you can relearn them."

"Thank you," she said. She smiled brightly at him and then hugged him. "But I think you'll have to read them to me."

"What? Why?" he asked.

She laughed and held the book open for him to see. "They're written in  _German_ , Ulrich. I can't  _read_  German. Or speak it."

"You could learn…"

"I thought fairytales were supposed to be read  _aloud_ ," she countered. Her eyes were dancing and he felt himself giving in. She seemed to sense it too because she smiled sweetly at him. "It'll be like a bedtime story."

"Fine," he sighed. She hugged him again before skipping lightly to her bed and jumping on it. The mound of pillows and stuffed animals bounced as she landed but managed to stay on.

"This will be so much fun!" she exclaimed. She burrowed under the pink comforter and grinned at him. "What's your favorite tale?"

"Rumpelstilzchen," Ulrich replied.

"Okay, let's start with that one. And don't forget to show me the pictures!" she ordered. He laughed as he lay on the bed next to her. She curled up, head against his arm, and watched his fingers move slowly over the words as he translated them hesitantly.

It took eighty-seven days to get through Volume One and one hundred twenty-three days to get through Volume Two, reading one story each night after curfew. Occasionally Odd woke and asked him where he'd been but usually drifted back to sleep before he could come up with a convincing lie. Once or twice Jim caught him leaving Aelita's room (Aelita would offer him a sweet smile and remind him about their next (nonexistent) tutoring session) and Jim would give him the Evil Eye until he was back in his own room (but he wouldn't say anything).

On the two-hundred-eleventh day after he had started reading the tales they were all seated around one of the cafeteria tables eating breakfast. Ulrich looked up as Aelita joined them. "Briar Rose," she announced, taking a seat next to Jeremie.

"What?" Odd asked.

"I don't understand," Jeremie added. Yumi gave her a blank look from where she was nursing a cup of something caffeine filled.

"My favorite fairytale is Briar Rose," she elaborated. "The one with the princess who pricks her finger and sleeps for a hundred years."

"Oh, Sleeping Beauty," Yumi said. She nodded in recognition. "I always found that one boring."

"Really?" Aelita asked. She looked at them all and Ulrich gave her a reassuring smile. "I think it's pretty interesting," she said.

"Interesting or not it's still just a kid's story," Jeremie said. "Now, onto matters of reality…"

Aelita looked disappointed as Jeremie began to talk about a new computer program he was trying to install that would warn of an incoming X.A.N.A. attack before it happened. Ulrich may not have enjoyed it as much as she did, but he could see the appeal (and the parallels). It was the first time he thought that maybe she wasn't as naïve as she appeared.

. . … . .

Most times he envied her freedom.

She was essentially living out his dream of a fresh start: no family, no expectations, no anything. It was a dream come true and she didn't seem to recognize it. She'd scold Yumi for teasing her brother, tell Jeremie to call his parents more, write lengthy emails to Odd's family which was her family now (Ulrich still isn't sure how Odd pulled that one off), and pester Ulrich into answering the phone when his parents called.

She had a childlike wonder as she took in this world she'd forgotten about.

Aelita was all wide eyes and bright smiles as she experienced life on Earth. The first time she'd had ice cream she'd yelped at the coldness and then proceeded to eat hers and half of Jeremie's. Her discovery of nail polish had been a colorful one where she'd painted her nails every color she could and then attempted to paint his and Jeremie's (she succeeded with Odd). Odd introduced her to music and it was like a switch had been flipped where she had to own every CD or MP3 she could get her hands on.

It went on and on. Almost every day she would tell them about something oh-so-ordinary that she'd  _discovered_  and  _did you guys know strawberries_ burst _like that_? And  _did you know rain feels different every time_? It was like watching a toddler exploring the outside world, he thought with an amused smile.

(Maybe he was more envious of her innocence, her naïveté, but he would never admit it.)

. . … . .

The stairway door creaked open with a rusty wail. He looked up from whatever it was he was drinking and saw the small silhouette standing in the doorway. He lifted the flashlight beam and shone it on her and watched as she lifted an arm to shield her eyes.

"Watch it," she snapped.

"Sorry." He dropped the beam and she picked her way across the broken machinery and loose wires until she sat on the cold concrete next to him. "What are you doing here, Aelita?"

She took the bottle from him and tilted it from side to side, listening to the liquid slosh against the sides. "You're an idiot," she told him fondly. The flashlight made the sparkles on her nails shimmer.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, you do realize we have the super computer and scanners monitored electrically, don't you? In case someone tries to turn it back on."

"Oh." He remembered Jeremie mentioned that a while back. "Yeah, yeah, I remember now." He hesitated. "Does anyone else know…?"

"About your little excursions here?" Aelita asked. He nodded and she shrugged. "Probably, but not from me. I've been monitoring the systems, but it was Odd who told me to look out for you, he had a suspicion." Ulrich snorted and adjusted the flashlight. Aelita sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. Strands of blonde hair tickled his nose and he wrinkled it in annoyance. He could still smell the chemicals two days and three washes later. "You aren't the only one who misses it," she murmured after a moment.

"What?" he asked.

"Lyoko," she whispered. "You don't know how much I think about restarting it, of going back one last time. To say goodbye…"

"Ai, he's gone. You know that," he said gently.

"Yeah, I know," she replied. She sat up and looked at the bottle of vodka again. "Does this stuff really help?" Before he could respond she took a swig from the bottle and then another (bigger) one.

"You shouldn't drin-"

"Keep talking, Ulrich," Aelita snapped. She hummed and took another sip of the vodka, feeling the warmth flowing down her throat. "This stuff is pretty vile," she told him. "Where did you get it?"

"Different places," he said. She nodded and handed him the bottle. He took it and set it aside.

"You should really stop," she told him. "Stop coming here, stop shutting everyone out, and stop drinking." She stared at him with green eyes eerily reminiscent of Odd's. Her blonde bangs hung in her eyes as she stared him down. It was disconcerting, the blonde-and-green, he wasn't used to her newly dyed hair. "Others are noticing. Ulrich you almost got a detention in Hertz's class. What if they found out you were drunk?"

"I wasn't."

"You were." Her arms crossed over her chest and she narrowed her eyes at him some more. "Odd said he tried to talk to you about it."

"He did," he agreed. His head felt cloudy and he wondered if it was the vertigo or the alcohol. Sometimes he couldn't tell anymore. "I don't have a problem."

"Of course not." The sarcasm dripped from her voice but he mostly ignored it. "Drinking's not going to make whatever it is go away," she told him softly.

"Ai…"

She sighed and he felt her head heavy on his shoulder.

. . … . .

After the ceremony they gather in the hotel room they all rented. Much to Jeremie's annoyance and Aelita's confusion he'd brought Sissi along to the room. Yumi had already returned to Paris, needing to work in the morning. In the morning he would be accompanying his family back to Germany and Sissi would be heading to England. Jeremie would be on his way east to Reims to stay with his family until school started. Odd would be returning to Norway for a month before joining him in London.

He was jarred out of his thoughts by shuffling footsteps. He looked up to see Aelita maneuvering herself through the room to the small balcony. She slid the door shut behind her. Ulrich sat up and stepped over Odd and barely avoided Jeremie's arm hanging off the small sofa. He slipped out the sliding door.

Aelita was leaning against the balcony wall. She looked away from the stars when he joined her. "I didn't mean to wake you," she said softly. The wind played with her blonde-and-pink hair.

"You didn't," he replied. "What are you doing up?"

She heaved a sigh. "Just thinking." She didn't look as exuberant as she did in the past. "Tomorrow everything changes."

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Ulrich?" He looked at her. "I'm scared."

"Why would you be scared?" he asked, surprised. Aelita had been many things over the years but he hadn't known her to be scared often. "Ai?"

"What if we lose touch? I know Odd's family is  _my_  family but they're not. I don't know them. I don't know Norway. Kadic is my home.  _You guys_  are my family. You and Odd and Jeremie and Yumi and even Jim and Sissi and Emily and…and what if tomorrow it all ends?"

Her shoulders shook and he pulled her into a tight hug. Her face burrowed into his shoulder. "Ai, nothing like that's going to happen."

"You all have families that love you, homes you grew up in. I have nothing anymore." Her breath hitched.

"You do too, you just said so. We're your family, Aelita and we love you. We'll be there. Don't worry. You can visit us in Scotland whenever you want and you can visit Jeremie and Yumi in Paris and Odd's family adores you, you know that."

She nodded but he had a feeling she didn't believe it fully. They stood like that for a long time: him being reassuring and rubbing her back, her sniffing and nodding. And for once he didn't envy her even a little.


	22. Broke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Swearing, sex, insinuation of slash (but not really?).
> 
>  **Rating:** PG-15-ish
> 
>  **Author's Note:** A nice long chapter. This chapter grew and changed somewhat. I hadn't intended for it to turn out like this originally, but it _demanded_ to be written this way, and who am I to deny the Muse? I hope it works for everyone though!

_21\. Annie's first boyfriend broke her heart, Ulrich broke his face (neither mentioned the police station after)._

"What's with the face?" Odd asked. He looked up from tightening the wheels on his skateboard as Ulrich entered the dorm room after getting back from vacation. Aelita was lounging on Ulrich's bed flipping through a magazine and painting her toe nails orange. "Ulrich?"

"Annie has a boyfriend," he groaned. He kicked off his boots and flung the snow-damp coat over the desk chair. He tossed the duffel under his desk and frowned at Aelita. "Don't get polish on my sheets again."

"I won't," she replied, smiling brightly at him.

"Are Jeremie and Yumi back yet?" he asked.

"Nope," Odd replied. "Yumi's still in Japan and Jer's still in Reims. So what's so terrible about this boyfriend? I thought your sister was seeing some guy last summer."

"Yeah, casually. Now she has her first real boyfriend, with anniversaries and everything."

"So?" Aelita asked. "You dated Yumi last semester, remember? Do you not approve of him?" She looked up and Ulrich cringed when the polish brush slipped off her toe and dripped orange paint on his new sheets. "Oops."

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since we were in school together," he admitted. He sank onto Odd's bed and let his head thunk against the wall. "She's my sister, she's not supposed to have a boyfriend."

"You're just worried she'll have sex before you do," Odd muttered. He ducked the pillow, laughing.

"Go to Hell, I don't want to think about  _that_. Anyway, she's fifteen, she's not having sex anytime soon," Ulrich growled.

Aelita laughed and ducked her head to focus on her toenails again. "She's growing up, Ulrich," she told him. "You're going to have to realize that one day." He groaned and thunked his head against the wall again while the other two laughed at him.

/

The sun was nearing the horizon line when he returned to the backyard. The yard was hot compared to the damp cool of the trees and for a moment he was tempted to return to the green depths. He loitered in the shadows before crossing the yard. He cut through the gazebo and bypassed the fish pond and garden.

"Ulrich?" He looked over the low vegetable garden fence to see Heidi picking lettuce heads. "I thought it was you. Your sister's out with that boy again, come help me with supper."

"Sure, Heidi," he agreed. He hopped the fence and gave her a hug when she frowned at him. "When did Annie leave?"

"A few hours ago. You were off on your hike. Pick some carrots and meet me inside."

He watched her enter the kitchen door and shook his head. He dug out four carrots, tugging until their roots gave way. Black soil caked onto his hands and under his nails and he wiped them on his jeans before following her into the kitchen. "Are these enough?"

Heidi looked up from where she was kneading bread dough. "Plenty. Take over for me while I prepare the soup, please."

"Okay." He moved to the counter and began to knead the dough. "Will Father be joining us for supper?"

"That's what your mother said," Heidi replied. She shook the lettuce leaves out and set them on paper towels.

"How is Mother, Heidi? She seems to be better…"

Heidi's face darkened as she moved to chopping the carrots. "Her trip to Greece has given her a bit more color, I think. She's very happy to have you home." Ulrich's hands tightened on the dough. "How's that friend of yours?" Heidi asked. She added the carrots to a pot of mixed vegetables and water. "The one who visited, what was his name?" She placed the pot on the stovetop and gave it a stir.

"Odd," Ulrich replied. "He's good. How's this?"

She prodded the dough and shook her head. "A bit more. You need to work the flour in." She cursed as her pot began to boil over. "Dratted thing. I keep telling your father I need a new stove, this one's faulty." Ulrich hid a smile as he mushed the dough in his hands. "And that girl you liked?"

"Yumi," he supplied. "She's good. She's dating another guy now."

Heidi tsked. "Well, you'll find someone better, don't you worry."

"I'm not," he replied.

"That's good. You're young still, plenty of time for you to find someone special. Here, let me at it now. Make sure the soup doesn't boil again." There was a noise outside and then the front door opened and slammed shut. "I think your sister's home."

"Yeah," Ulrich said drily. He listened as she clomped upstairs and slammed another door. "Better go see what's wrong," he added.

He left the kitchen and headed down the hall past the dining room, study, sitting room, and media room. Upstairs Annie's door was closed and locked. "Annie," he called, knocking lightly.

"Go away."

"Come on, Ann, what is it?"

"Go away!" she yelled.

"No. Now open the door or I'm just going to come in anyway." He could hear her snort on the other side of the door. "I mean it, Hannelore."

"You're terrible at lock picking." He rolled his eyes and walked across the hall into his room. He pulled open his desk drawer and extracted the metal key before returning to her room. She stared at him from the bench in the bay window.

"I didn't say I'd pick it," he told her, dangling the key.

"Where'd you get that?" He shrugged. "Whatever, what do you want?"

"What's wrong?" he asked, closing the door behind him.

"Nothing," she snapped. She rubbed at the tear tracks on her cheeks and he rolled his eyes again. He watched as she pulled her knees up under her chin and visibly deflated. Her shoulders slumped and her chestnut colored hair fell into her eyes. "Benjamin and I broke up," she said finally.

"I'm sorry, Annie." He crossed the room and squished in next to her on the window seat. She scooted over and looked out the window at the front yard. "What happened?"

"He was an ass," she replied. "I'm not upset, really."

"Uh huh." He nudged her sock clad foot and she gave him a weak smile.

"It's just…it was stupid, but I thought we'd be together for…well, longer than six months. He just…I really loved him, Ulrich." Her head fell to his shoulder as she shifted and he rubbed her back as she cried. "I thought he did too."

"He's an idiot, Annie," he murmured.

. . … . .

"Come on, get up," he ordered. Annie cracked an eye open and peeked out from the cocoon of covers. "I said get up."

"What time is it?" she yawned.

"Two-thirty. You're sleeping the day away. Come on, we're going to the cinema in town. You're getting out of the house."

"I don't want to go," she whined. She burrowed back under the covers. "Lose that key, locked doors mean  _stay out_  in case you're too dense to realize."

"Hannelore if you don't get up  _now_  I am going to yank you out of bed. He isn't worth you laying around moping. I know you want to see that new movie, the one with Emma Knightley or whatever her name is."

There was a snort from under the covers and Annie sat up, glaring. "It's Emma  _Watson_  or  _Keira_  Knightley. God, Ulrich, don't you know anything about movies?"

"Movies, yes. Actors, no."

She threw the covers off and stumbled out of bed. " _Most_  guys know actresses," she retorted. "Whatever, I need a shower and then we can go so you can do your good deed or pity thing or whatever this is. Get out so I can get ready," she ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," he said with a smile.

/

They left the theater laughing. He had his arm slung around her shoulders and she was tossing popcorn into her mouth as they walked. "It was awful," he told her. "How can you watch that shit?"

"Just because romance is lost on you…"

"That wasn't romance, Annie. That was brain rot," he retorted.

She snorted and elbowed him. "And  _this_  is why you're still single. Come on, I want ice cream."

"You just ate almost a whole tub of popcorn. And a box of candy," Ulrich protested.

Annie rolled her eyes as they followed the sidewalk south, past various storefronts and the real estate office. "Don't you know anything? Girls like ice cream when their hearts are broken," she sniffed. He tightened his arm around her shoulders as they headed for the ice creamery.

"Annie…"

"Let's drop it, okay?"

They rounded the corner and he felt Annie freeze. "What is it?" he asked as he followed her line of sight.

There was a group of teens lounging about in front of the ice cream shop. He recognized a couple of them. The blonde girl was Hilda Bohn; she was a friend of Annie's when they were younger. Next to her was her sister Abigail. He didn't recognize the two dark haired girls but the pudgy boy trying to look down Abby's shirt was Alban Frost; Ulrich had been in the same class with him when they were nine. Standing in the middle of the group was Benjamin Adler, gold colored hair and sharp nose, with his arm thrown casually around one of the brunette girls.

The wind and mostly deserted street carried his words to him as well as the faint music coming from the ice cream shop door. "Yeah, so it was like  _wham, bam, thank you ma'am_ ," he explained. "I didn't realize how much of a slut Annie was." He shrugged. "I mean, sure, I'd heard the rumors, who hadn't? But in reality? Dude, she was  _hungry_  every night, if you know what I mean."

"Then why'd you dump her?" Alban questioned. He slurped melting ice cream off his fingers.

"Caught her trying to hook up with some guy," he answered.

Next to him he felt Annie stiffen. He looked down at her to see her eyes shining and her teeth chewing on her bottom lip. "I don't know," Hilda said, "Annie's always been kind of naïve. I could believe it about her brother but Annie?"

Benjamin snorted. "Believe it. Annie pretends to be naïve but that girl is a whore."

" _Just_ because I let you get in my pants doesn't make me a whore you low bred cretin!" Annie screamed. Ulrich froze, staring at his sister in shock. She  _what_? The teens all looked over as she stormed across the narrow alley and poked Benjamin in the chest. "You feel so low you have to make up rumors? How about being a man and telling them what really happened?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Benjamin replied. His voice was icy as he grabbed Annie by the shoulders. "You sure you want to do this here?"

"Get your hands off my sister!" Ulrich shouted. He shoved Benjamin back and pulled Annie to his side.

"Look whose back," Hilda drawled. She twirled a lock of blonde hair around a finger and eyed Ulrich through narrowed blue eyes.

"Let go of me, Ulrich," Annie snapped. She pulled at her arm as she glowered up at Benjamin. "You fucking bastard, you told me I was the only one for you, got what you wanted, and then you went off and fucked Minna Jansen."

The shop owner appeared in the doorway, frowning. "Hey now, clear out kids. This is a family place," he ordered.

"Does that ring a bell, Ben? Because I remember walking into the room and seeing you screwing her in Abby's bed at the end of the year party."

" _My_  bed?" Abigail demanded, a disgusted look crossing her narrow face.

"You fucked Minna?" Alban asked. He grinned up at Benjamin. "Way to go, man!"

"Shut-up," Benjamin snapped. Ulrich wasn't sure if he was addressing Alban or Annie.

"You told me you were drunk and didn't mean to and I believed you. I gave you  _everything_. You know I was a virgin before you. You're fucking disgusting. Remember, I told you that before I dumped your sorry ass when I saw you making out with Greta at the cinema?"

The brunette girl Benjamin had had his arm around looked down at her feet and shifted back slightly. Annie's chest was heaving and her eyes sparked with anger and hurt. Ulrich felt a strange sense of pride rising in his chest as he looked at his sister. It was warring with the rising anger he felt at Benjamin Adler at the moment, but he'd be sure to tell her when they got home.

"Yeah, well, you're a fucking manipulative bitch, Hannelore Stern," Benjamin growled. "You're a tease and a flirt and all the guys say so. You may have 'been a  _virgin_ ' but ask any guy at school and they'll say what great head you give. At least I got you before you became diseased."

" _Ben_ ," Alban hissed.

Ulrich swung and the girls screamed as his fist caught Benjamin in the jaw. " _Fuck_ ," Benjamin howled, grabbing his face.

"Don't you  _dare_  talk about my sister like that," Ulrich growled. He shoved Benjamin against the front window of the ice cream shop and ignored the owner warning them that he was calling the cops. "You're a miserable piece of shit," he hissed.

"Get your hands off me, Stern," Benjamin said. He shoved Ulrich and tried to elbow him. "In case you didn't notice I'm not into  _your kind_." Ulrich froze and Benjamin grinned a bloody smile. "Yeah, you think no one here knows why you suddenly went off to France? That it's some great big secret? Your family's fucked, Stern."

Ulrich let go of his shirt as Benjamin shoved him, forcing him up against a lamp post. The girls called for him to let it go but he ignored him. The shop owner returned to the door, told them the cops were on their way. "Stay the Hell away from me. Stay the Hell away from my sister," he warned.

"Who'd want to get involved with  _that_?" Benjamin demanded. He sneered down at Ulrich from his two inch height advantage. "The whole school knows you're a queer and practically disowned." Ulrich froze and he saw Annie's eyes widen behind Benjamin. Hilda and Abigail scowled and the brunette girls had disappeared. "Your dad's a control freak psycho; your mom's a mental case and who wouldn't be with the family she's in? No wonder your sister's a whore."

Ulrich lunged, catching him off guard. He could hear the sirens now and one look told him that Abigail, Hilda, and Alban had bailed as well. Annie was yelling something unintelligible as they toppled to the ground. He took a fist to the eye and a knee to the groin, an elbow to the ribs that left him gasping. But he gave back as good as he got and when the cops arrived, pulling him off the other boy, Benjamin Adler had tears running down his cheeks and a puffy nose and bloody mouth.

The shop owner glowered as Annie slid into the backseat next to him, taking his hand silently.

. . … . .

"You didn't have to," Annie told him quietly. She kept her head down and her voice low against the hum of the waiting area. "Benjamin is an idiot, but you didn't have to be one too."

"Shut-up, Hannelore." Annie glowered and pressed the ice harder against his hand. Ulrich hissed and narrowed his eyes at her. The left one was swollen and painful. They were waiting for their parents, watching Benjamin Adler and his mother fill out a police report. Benjamin's face was swollen, his lip split and nose broken and crusted with blood and snot. Ulrich felt a rush of pride at that.

"By fighting him you just confirmed everything, you realize?" she asked. He tried to ignore her. "And it's not true anyway. You and Yumi dated last year. They just thing you're gay because you didn't date anyone while you were here."

" _Annie_ ," he groaned. "I didn't confirm anything. I defended your honor and our family's honor."

"I can handle myself," she retorted.

"You could," he agreed. He hissed again as she shifted the ice. "Don't worry, next time I'll let you beat the bastard up and get arrested."

"Father's going to  _kill you_ ," Annie reminded him. She looked at him with pale hazel eyes. There was a crash and they both looked over to the front door. Ulrich cringed and Annie patted his knee consolingly. "Any last wishes?"

" _Shut-up_ ," he hissed irritably.

Their father crossed the station house in three strides, brushing past officers and constables, until he stood over them. His arms crossed as he stared down at them. "What did you do?" he demanded. His voice was a low rumble and Ulrich swallowed and tried to stiffen his shoulders.

"Herr Stern?" an officer asked. "If you'll come this way, we'll discuss the reason we called you down."

Their father stared at them for a moment more. "Stay here," he ordered. Annie's head dropped to his shoulder and he let his rest on hers. They watched silently as their father joined Benjamin and his mother at the desk with the officer.

/

The ride back was silent. Annie's head rested on the window and her fingers curled into his while their father stared out the front windshield. In all honesty Ulrich was surprised he wasn't in prison or under electronic monitoring. They hit a bump and Annie's fingers tightened almost painfully. He looked over to see tears sliding down her cheeks as she stared out the window.

By the time they passed through the front gate Annie had wiped her face clean and her eyes were clear and bright. The car stopped in front of the front door and stiffly Ulrich exited. Annie slid out behind him offering a cheery smile. Their father spoke quietly with the driver for a moment before exiting as well. The car pulled away and turned toward the back of the house where the garage was.

"Hannelore," Charles Stern said. Annie looked up at him.

"Yes, Papa?"

"Go on in and let your mother know we're home in time for supper." Annie hesitated, face pinched as she looked between them. Their father looked at her, face creased. "And put something decent on first." She hesitated, lingering near his right shoulder. " _Go_ ," he ordered.

Ulrich watched as she ran up the front steps. She paused once more at the door before slipping inside. His father waited until the door closed. He turned and walked around the side of the house. His hands were shoved deep into his trouser pockets as he ambled along. Ulrich hesitated before falling into step with him.

"You broke his nose," his father stated.

"Yes, Sir." He wasn't sure if he should sound apologetic or not so he settled for cautious.

"I heard his side, lets here yours." They were walking along the fish pond and the gazebo now, shielded from the kitchen windows by the thick rose bushes his mother had planted last summer.

Ulrich hesitated before shrugging. His knuckles still twinged a bit so he couldn't shove them in his pockets. "He spread a rumor about Annie," he said at last. "And us. He was talking about our family." He looked up to see his father's face unreadable. "I'm not sorry I did it," he said finally, defiantly.

His father stopped and looked at him in surprise. "When I was your age your Tante Viktoria was just beginning to date," he said at last. He fiddled with his pocket watch and Ulrich watched curiously. It was the first time he'd seen his father not calm and collected. "I don't remember his name anymore, but the boy she was seeing…spread stories as well." His father's face was drawn like he'd sucked on a lemon.

"Were they true?" Ulrich asked before he could stop himself. He froze as his father's gaze jerked back to him.

Remarkably a thin smile stretched his father's lips. "Probably," he said. Ulrich looked down at the fish pond and kicked a pebble into the still water. A frog croaked reproachfully. "The point is, Ulrich, she was my sister and Annie is yours." Ulrich's gaze lifted as his father's hand settled on his shoulder. "Maybe you're growing up after all," he said.

He wondered if he should feel concerned that what brought out the pride in his father was the fact that he'd broken a guy's nose. Instead, he asked, "Am I going to be arrested?"

"I handled it," Charles replied. "Come, I'm sure supper is ready by now." His hand tightened briefly before slipping away. They were on the back verandah when his father stopped him. Ulrich looked up at him, his hand slipped from the knob to the French door. "Not a word to your mother, understood?"

"Yes, Papa," he answered. His father nodded and opened the door for them.

/

His door creaked open sometime after midnight. He turned over to see Annie silhouetted against the low light of the hall. She slipped through the door and closed it quietly behind her. He closed his eyes as she crept across the wood floor and feigned sleep.

"I know you're awake, Ulrich," she hissed. "I saw your eyes from the hall light. And I know you." He grunted as she settled onto the edge of his bed. "Come on, scoot."

" _Annie_ , it's twelve-something-"

"Try one-twenty," she interrupted.

"The  _point_  is, what do you want?" he groaned. He rolled over and sat up and she slid under the covers. "Jesus, your feet are freezing!" he yelped. He tried to scoot away from her but she just moved closer.

"What did Papa want? Are you okay? I wanted to ask earlier but Papa had me practicing and you disappeared up here, and then Mama had me sit with her…" she trailed off. "What did he say?"

"Nothing," Ulrich replied.

" _Charles_ , come on, tell me."

"Don't call me that." He pulled the covers up around his shoulders and leaned against the headboard. Annie's head came to rest on his shoulder. "He just told me he'd handled it. And not to tell anyone about it."

"Hmph."

"That means you too, Hannelore."

"Don't call me that," she snapped. She plucked at his bedding and sighed. "You shouldn't have done that. Now everyone will be talking about it even more." She hesitated and slid down so that she was resting on his pillow. "Why'd you do it anyway, Ulrich? You used to hate confrontation."

He snorted. "Guess I changed, huh?"

"I don't like it," she told him. "You were always level-headed."

"I still am," he protested. He played with her hair and watched her eyes close. He ignored the faint tear tracks still evident on her face. "I just wanted to protect you."

"Well, don't do it again," she mumbled.

"You really slept with that asshole?" he asked. He was still having a hard time getting his mind around that thought.

"Yeah, well, I thought he loved me," she mumbled. "It was a stupid mistake."

"When did you…?"

She shifted and pulled his covers up around her. "Are we really talking about this?" she grumbled. "The first time? A month or so ago."

He really didn't know why he was continuing with this. The thought alone was sure to give him nightmares. "You used protection, right?"

"What, do you think that I'm an idiot? God. I didn't ask if you used protection because I have faith that you're smart enough," she groaned. "Look…let's just drop this, yeah?"

"Annie, I'm your brother, I have to worry about this," he snapped, ignoring the blush creeping up his neck and cheeks.

"Yeah, well…don't," she sighed. "And don't listen…to Ben…he's a bastard. No one believed those rumors…about you…any…way," she yawned. He listened as her breathing evened out and nudged her in the shoulder. She mumbled but didn't open her eyes.

"Hey, Annie, Annie, get out of my bed. Annie, come on, get up and go back to your room.  _Annie_." He groaned again as she snuggled into his pillow. "Goddamn pest," he grunted before flopping back down. "If you drool you're dead," he warned her slightly snoring form.


	23. Funerals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Swearing, slash, making out, kissing, death, funerals, potential suicide, drinking, and mentions of sex (it's a doozy of a chapter, isn't it?).
> 
>  **Rating:** PG-15-ish
> 
>  **Author's Note:** Originally, the second part was not going to happen. It was going to be someone else (who has been moved to Odd's part), and then it was going to be someone else, who I felt Ulrich had a healthier relationship with, but well. It wouldn't be written that way. So that's why the second part is who it is.

_22\. He attended two funerals his seventeenth year._

His phone went off an hour after curfew. Odd groaned as he reached to answer it. "If it's Einstein I'm going…"

"It's Sissi," he replied. Odd rolled his eyes and flopped back onto the bed. Ulrich patted his shoulder as he answered. "Sissi?" he asked. He narrowed his eyes at Odd and the hand creeping up his thigh. "Sissi, you there?"

"Probably butt dialed you," Odd muttered. He leaned in to nibble along his collarbone. "That girl has a knack for moment interruption," he grumbled. Ulrich went to swat him away but his fingers got tangled up in blonde hair and that wasn't really helping….

"Sissi?" he asked, his voice just shy of breathless. Odd nipped and he smothered a moan and a gasp. "Sissi, you there?" he tried again, ignoring Odd's grumbles. There was a strange sound in the background and he felt nervous. "Sis-"

"Ulrich, I need you. I need you to get Jim," she said suddenly. Her voice was emotionless and panic rose in his stomach. It reminded him of that time when…but it couldn't be. The super computer was shut down. X.A.N.A. was defeated… "Hurry, please. My father's apartment." Before her phone cut off he was certain he heard a sob.

"I have to go," he said. He wriggled out of Odd's grasp and slid off the bed.

"What?" Odd asked. He stared as Ulrich pulled on a pair of jeans and shrugged on a shirt, buttoning it haphazardly. "Are you going to tell me where?"

"Something's wrong with Sissi. It might have to do with last year."

Odd frowned and ran a hand through his hair. It did nothing to make it look less disheveled. "I thought that was taken care of."

"I don't know." He shrugged as he stuffed his feet into his sneakers. "Maybe her dad found out. I'll be back soon," he promised.

"Uh huh," Odd sighed. He grabbed Ulrich on his way to the door and yanked him down for a kiss. "See you later then."

"Later," Ulrich murmured, pulling away reluctantly. Odd gave a forlorn groan and flopped back onto the bed. Ulrich closed the door quietly behind himself. Sissi better have a damn good reason for calling.

/

Sissi's hair smelled like raspberries, he noticed numbly. He kept his arms around her and ignored the tears soaking into his shirt. They stood on the small porch outside of her father's apartment and listened to the muffled sound of Jim's voice on the other side of the cracked door. He tried to think of something to say but came up blank.

"Eli," he whispered, because  _Sissi_  seemed crass now. "Eli, it'll be alright," he lied.

"No, it won't," she hiccupped. "It won't be alright ever again, Ulrich."

He rubbed her back and hummed a song Heidi was prone to sing while she cooked or cleaned. He felt Sissi quiet in his arms. "What are you doing?" he hissed as he felt her fingers begin to undo the buttons on his shirt.

"I obviously interrupted something," she replied. "Don't worry; I'm not after whatever virtue you have left. Your shirt's askew, I'm fixing it," she murmured. He felt her fingers redo the buttons and relaxed against the wall. There was a thump and he looked up to see Jim exiting the small cottage Delmas lived in.  _Had lived in_ , his brain corrected. "Jim?"

"The authorities are on their way." The man rested a hand on Sissi's trembling shoulder. "I'm  _so_  sorry, Elisabeth."

Her shoulders hunched and she let out another sob as her face burrowed into Ulrich's shoulder once more. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. If he focused on her then maybe he could ignore his own grief bubbling up. Jim leaned against the railing and checked his watch periodically. Ulrich resumed humming and rocked with her until the ambulance and police car pulled up thirteen minutes later.

/

The ghostly glow of the police cars, the flashing light on top of the ambulance, Jim on his bullhorn ordering everyone back to their rooms… Aelita huddled in a sweatshirt with her feet bare and a sleep mask pushed up on her forehead. "What happened?" she kept repeating. "Guys, what happened?"

Odd craned his neck to see over the heads of the other students. Jeremie shifted from foot to foot and pushed his glasses up his nose. "We can't tell, Aelita."

"Where's Ulrich, Odd? What's happening?" She bounced on her feet and leaned over a bench to try and get a better look.

"I don't know, Princess…" He wished he'd gone with Ulrich now.

"They're bringing someone out!" Thomas shouted. Immediately all heads turned in the direction he was pointing. Milly pushed her way to the front and Tamiya angled the camera for the best view.

"Oh, shit," Odd said, watching. His stomach plummeted as he saw the stretcher with the sheet pulled up over the body. He saw Ulrich walking with a girl with dark hair and an officer. Her face was hidden in his shoulder but even so, he recognized her. His stomach twisted and he felt nauseous.

"What is it?" Aelita persisted. She braced against Jeremie to peer through the crowd. All of a sudden she let out a gasp and covered her mouth. The other students seemed to realize as well as the excited chatter ceased abruptly. Faculty began to take charge, coaxing stunned students back into the dormitories.

"Everything will be explained as soon as we receive confirmed information," Mrs. Hertz kept explaining. She frowned at their group. "Come on, into the dormitories with you three. Mr. Stern will join you shortly, I'm sure."

Mutely they obeyed.

/

"You take care of her tonight," Jim murmured. Ulrich looked up at him in surprise. "I know it's against the rules, but you two are friends. She needs a friend right now, Ulrich."

"Yeah, I know. But I don't know if she'll cooperate. Sissi's…"

"She'll cooperate," Jim said knowingly. He crossed the courtyard to where the officer was talking with Sissi. "It's late…let…sleep…bring her in…first…tomorrow," Jim's words carried. The officer hesitated, looked down at her, then nodded and waved them away.

Ulrich leaned against the wall and watched Jim lead her back across. Sometime during the night she had shrugged on a coat to cover her pajamas. He wasn't sure who it was from. As they got closer he realized Jim was talking to her. He didn't hear what he said, but when they reached him Sissi didn't protest when he told her they were going to his room.

He opened his dorm door to find Jeremie asleep in the computer chair, Aelita curled up with the extra blanket on the floor. Odd was asleep on his bed, Kiwi's silver dog tag hung around his throat and glinted from the hall light. "Take my bed," Ulrich whispered.

"Thanks," she replied.

She dropped the coat on the foot of the bed and curled up in his bed. She pulled the covers up over her head and he slipped under the sheets in Odd's bed. Odd snorted and wrapped an arm around his waist but otherwise stayed asleep. He closed his eyes so he didn't see her cry.

/

He was talking with Jim, watching Sissi across the room, when Odd appeared at his elbow. "Come on, time to get our seats. The viewing's just finished and the priest's about to start the sermon," he said.

"Yeah, okay." He followed Odd to the pew and slid in after him. Next to the blonde was Aelita, then Jeremie. He watched Sissi take a seat three pews up at the front. The priest was speaking with one of her aunt's. She turned to speak to a relative he didn't know and he saw how pale she looked. Her dark hair was pinned up and her dress was stark against her skin. There were rings around her eyes. Odd nudged him and he looked at him in surprise. "What?"

"You okay? I know you were close to Delmas," he murmured. Odd squeezed his hand.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he murmured. He squeezed Odd's hand back, ignored the surprised look when he laced their fingers together.

He glanced around the room, noticed all the students (both past and present) and the faculty, not to mention the family members congregated at the front of the church. It had been four days since Sissi's phone call. Four days since he entered Delmas's apartment to see the man unmoving on the living room floor, lips already turning blue. He shook the image out of his head. He didn't want to remember him that way.

The priest began the usual sermon and he found himself tuning out. There was nothing this man could tell him that he didn't already know about Jean-Pierre Francois Delmas from first-hand experience. Devoted father – check. He was reminded of carefree childhood days, watching Delmas swing Sissi around or sneak her presents he couldn't afford. Hard worker – check. The man put in more hours running this school than Ulrich thought there were in a day. Loyal, trusting, honest, the list went on and on.

The only thing that wasn't mentioned was his fondness for pipe tobacco and the peppermint he used to cover it.

/

Sissi stood at the mouth of the pit, her hair lank and restless in the wind. Nick was talking to her and a couple of times she nodded. Ulrich watched Nick's hand rest briefly on Sissi's shoulder before he ambled off after Herve.

"We should go," Jeremie announced. He looked toward where the other students were weaving their way through the tombstones and back to the church. There was a soft  _fwosh_  as the shovels dropped loads of dirt onto the lowered casket. "Come on guys."

"Ulrich?" Aelita asked. She reached out a black gloved hand to tug on his sleeve. "Are you coming?"

Sissi's relatives were talking in hushed murmurs around her. Ulrich watched the way their eyes drifted over her head toward the grave, watched the slight bounce to their steps as some of them returned to the church. He remembered his own family and he felt sickened.

"No, you guys go on." He saw Odd looking at him and offered a grimace of a smile. "Go on, I've…I've got to stay."

He turned back and crossed the graveyard to stand next to Sissi. She didn't look up from where she watched the gravediggers covering her father's coffin. There was a crunch of grass and he looked over to see Odd coming to a stand next to him. Odd gave him a small smile and a moment later Aelita and Jeremie joined them.

She looked up at that and he saw the surprise in her eyes. He gave her a smile and watched her shoulders relax. "You don't have to…"

"Yeah, I do," he told her.

Odd jumped in, giving her a warm smile, "yeah, he wasn't so bad. I've a lot of fond memories of his office." Sissi snorted but there was a brief smile.

"He was a good man," Jeremie added after a moment.

"And besides, you're our friend," Aelita murmured.

Sissi cried and clutched his hand.

. . … . .

He was unpacking boxes when his phone went off. The familiar melody of Chopin's  _Funeral March_  filled the tiny flat and he groaned. It took three rings for him to find it under a box labeled _Clothes_  and he almost hoped he'd find it too late. "Yes?" he grunted, because he knew his father hated it when he answered with anything other than  _hello_.

"Ulrich, you need to come home," his father stated.

Ulrich sank down onto the floor and shook his head. "I just got here, Father. I'm unpacking. I just left there a week ago, and I'll be back in a month for my birthday. I told Annie this."

"Ulrich, it's your mother."

/

The drapes were all pulled shut and the interior of the house was dim and cool in the July heat. He dropped his bag by the front door and ventured farther into the house. He didn't like the silence. It wasn't oblivious and neglectful like prior visits, now it felt oppressive and heavy. "Anyone home?" he called at the stairs.

"Ulrich, that you?" Heidi's voice carried from upstairs.

"Yeah," he replied. He picked up his bag and climbed the stairs slowly, automatically skipping the one that squeaked midway up. "Where is everyone?"

"Your father is making arrangements in town. I believe Annie is out with her boyfriend." He followed the housekeeper's voice to the room at the end of the hall and froze in the doorway. Heidi was removing his mother's clothes from the closet, folding them up and stacking them in boxes. She looked up and her lined face softened when she saw him. "I am sorry, Ulrich." Heidi crossed the room and enveloped him in a tight hug. She smelled of parsley and lavender.

"It's okay, thanks." He folded his arms across his chest and then frowned. "I'm just going to wash my hands, I must have touched something sticky," he mumbled, rubbing his fingers together.

"Don't go in there," Heidi told him.

He looked at her in surprise. "I'm just going to use the sink."

"Charles," she said and he froze mid-step. "Use your own sink. Don't go in there."

"Heidi…"

"Your mother was a troubled woman, Ulrich. But she was lovely." She went back to putting away clothing. "I feel sorry for your father, all alone now in this big house."

"I'm sure he prefers it that way," Ulrich grumbled. He sank into an upholstered chair and checked his phone.

"Don't be that way. I think you've had the wrong idea about your father-"

"Unlikely," Ulrich snorted.

"You might be surprised," she retorted. The front door opened and he heard his father's heavy footsteps downstairs. "Go and say hello. And be nice."

"I will if he will," he muttered, but he went.

His father was pouring scotch over a glass of ice in the study. He looked up at the sound of Ulrich's footsteps and Ulrich was momentarily surprised by the unshaven face. "When did you get in?" he asked. His father returned the bottle to the cabinet, locked it, and returned the key to his vest pocket.

"About twenty minutes ago," Ulrich replied. He perused the wall-to-wall bookcase. "You going to say how it happened?" he asked finally. "I thought she was getting better."

"She was-"

"Obviously not. Or else we have two different versions of  _better_." He was turned around roughly, his father's grip tight on his shoulder. "Don't touch me."

"Don't be smart," his father growled. "Your mother is dead, you show some respect."

Ulrich glowered as he pulled away and stormed upstairs.

/

"Hei, Elskling!" He winced at Odd's chipper voice. "How goes the unpacking?"

"I'm not unpacking-"

"Given up or taking a break? I can't wait to see you. Training was horrible, thank God I'm done for now. Just putting in an appearance for the family and then I'll be off."

"Odd." He crossed the yard and watched to make sure he was alone. "I'm not in Scotland."

"What?" There was a crackle of static. "-are you then?"

"Germany." He took a breath. "My mother died two days ago. I just got in this afternoon."

"I can be there by tomorrow morning."

"Odd, it's fine," Ulrich sighed. He was wandering the tree line out back, waiting for Heidi to summon him in for dinner. The air was still warm and he could hear the cicadas chirping from the forest. "I'll be fine."

"Come on, it's your mother. I'll be there."

"It's not like you knew her that well. It's not like  _I_ knew her," Ulrich grumbled. He kicked a rock and sent it flying into a bush fifteen yards away. A bird took off, squawking indignantly. "As soon as the funeral's over I'm on the next plane back to Scotland. It'd be a waste for you to travel all the way out here."

" _Ulrich_ , it's not a waste. I'll be there in the morning." Odd hung up before he could argue more.

/

Annie was in the sitting room with a sandy haired boy wearing glasses. Ulrich watched them for a moment from the hall, noting the way the boy held her hand or gave her shy looks. It was like watching Jer back in the early days with Aelita, except Annie's hair was chestnut and not pink. He shook his head. It was kind of sickening, how lovesick the kid looked. God he hoped he'd never looked that way at anyone.

"Annie," he called.

Her head whipped up and she leapt to her feet. "Ulrich!" Annie exclaimed. She flung her arms around him and hugged him tight. "Oh my God, Ulrich, isn't it terrible?" Her eyes were already filling with tears.

"Yeah, it is. How are you?"

"I'm okay. I just…I can't believe she's gone, you know? She was doing so well until the allergic reaction to her medication. Papa said it was quick. I was out when it happened." Her voice dropped. "I wish I'd gotten to say goodbye. How are you?"

"Fine," he replied. He looked around her to see the boy leaning awkwardly against a doorframe. "Is this your new boyfriend?"

"Hm? Yes, Stephan Koch. He's a flautist with the symphony." She leaned in closer. "Isn't he cute?"

"Not a fan of the glasses," he replied. She elbowed him and he winced. "He treats you well?"

"Like a princess." Her smile faded slightly. "Mama liked him a lot. She loved it when he played his flute."

"She did like flutes," he agreed. Annie elbowed him again. "What?"

"Can you at least  _pretend_  you're sad to see her gone?" she hissed. She spun on her heel and stalked off. He watched her wrap herself around Stephan-the-flautist as she led him into the dining room. "Come on, Charlie," she called.

"I thought his name was Ulrich?" Stephan's voice carried.

Ulrich shoved his hands in his pockets and followed them to the table. "He's got a bit of an identity crisis," Annie told him. Ulrich's eyes narrowed as he took his usual seat. He watched Annie take their mother's old seat, Stephan sitting next to her. "What?" she asked.

"Really miss her, don't you?" he asked conversationally. He watched Annie's face turn red while he poured a glass of water from the carafe.

"So, Annie says you're going to school in Scotland?"

"Yes," he replied.

"That sounds exciting. I hope New York will be just as exciting, I've been there a few times before…" Ulrich sipped from his glass and wondered where his father was. Stephan coughed and fidgeted, gave a smile to Annie. Annie smiled back. "Do you have any wine?" Stephan questioned. He looked around the table, shoved his glasses up, like he expected a bottle of Merlot to magically appear.

"No," Charles Stern stated. He entered the dining room with a platter of beef in his hands, Heidi following with the side dishes. "We do not have wine in the house."

"But, Papa, with Mama-"

"No, Hannelore. Now, say Grace so we may eat."

"Yes, Papa."

/

Odd's cab pulled up at six in the morning. Ulrich met him at the door and didn't admit how happy he was to see him. Odd pulled him into a tight hug. His eyes were ringed from lack of sleep and his hair was shorter and strands hung in his eyes. Ulrich burrowed his face in Odd's shoulder and just breathed.

"I'm exhausted," Odd groaned.

"You're an idiot," Ulrich replied. "You barely knew her."

"I'm here for  _you_ , idiot," Odd retorted. "I want to make sure  _you're_  okay."

Odd kissed him and Ulrich pressed him back against the door. There was the clink of dog tags hitting Kiwi's tag and Odd moaned when Ulrich nipped at his neck. Odd's fingers knotted in the brown strands and he pulled Ulrich back up into a proper kiss. He bit at Ulrich's lips until Ulrich sighed and relented and their tongues dueled. They kissed until a door opened upstairs and then Ulrich pulled back. "Come on," he sighed, and led the way down the hallway.

The smell of sausages and eggs filled the air from the kitchen. Odd's stomach rumbled and Ulrich chuckled. "What? They barely served anything on that plane," Odd grumbled.

"I'm sure," Ulrich replied. They entered the kitchen to see Heidi pouring coffee and juice into glasses while sausages sizzled on the stove. His father was hidden behind the pages of the morning paper at the table set in the bay window. "Morning," Ulrich stated.

"Morning," his father grunted from behind his paper.

"Good morning, Ulrich, you're up early." Heidi set a mug of coffee on the table and smiled over her shoulder at him and then caught sight of Odd stealing a piece of toast from a plate. "Mr. Della Robbia, where did you come from?" Heidi asked. His father looked up from his newspaper-and-coffee with frown lines already etched deep in his forehead.

"Plane got in this morning," Odd yawned. "I came when Ulrich told me. I'm really sorry about Mrs. Stern," he said.

"Yes, well, she's in a better place now. Heidi, I'll take my coffee to go. I have a meeting to get to," his father announced. He folded his paper and stood. "Tell Kristoff to bring the car around." He paused on his way out of the kitchen. "Ulrich, fix your hair, you look like you just got up. Hello, Odd," he added at the door.

"Yeah, hi," Odd replied, but Charles Stern had already disappeared down the hallway. "Hitler," Odd mumbled.

"I didn't hear that," Heidi warned. She swatted Odd on the arm with a dishtowel as she moved past him with a thermos of hot coffee. "I'll be right back, Ulrich take care with the omelet – it's almost finished."

"Sure, Heidi." He checked the oven and poked the egg mixture experimentally. "I can't believe you said that. What if he'd heard?"

"So? You agree with me," Odd replied. He spread jam on his toast and swiped a sausage. "When's the funeral?"

"Tomorrow at eleven," he answered.

"You okay?" Odd asked. Ulrich looked over and rolled his eyes. It appeared as though Odd was trying to swallow the sausage whole. "What?"

"Chew," he reprimanded. "And yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well…Delmas passed two months ago and now your mom…"

"I'm fine, Odd."

"Odd?" They looked over to see Annie entering the kitchen. Her hair was disheveled and she was in her music note pajamas. She yawned widely. "What are you doing here?"

"Came to offer my condolences-"

"Even though a call or card would have been sufficient," Ulrich grumbled.

Odd shot him a dark look over a cup of coffee. "How're you doing, Annie?"

Annie deflated and gave him a watery smile. "I've been better. I miss her, a lot." Ulrich snorted and removed the omelet from the oven. Annie glowered at his back as he cut and served the omelet. "Ignore Charles. I'm glad you came."

"Yeah, me too," Odd replied.

/

He wasn't sure what he was looking for. Or if he was even looking for something. Stephan had shown up an hour ago and Annie had retreated outside with him. Heidi was sealing boxes in his mother's room again. Odd was passed out in his bed. And he was bored, or something. He didn't know anymore. Maybe he was just looking for answers that weren't there.

He was in his mother's studio, the one she went to when she was feeling well enough. There were canvases of watercolor landscapes littered about. Some were cheerful spring pictures, most were eerie winter nightscapes. He shuddered at one showing a gnarled tree and turned to the window. The studio was on the third floor and had a view of the back garden and forest.

Below the shadows were stretching long fingers across the grass and trees. He could make out Annie on the gazebo swing, her head pillowed on Stephan-the-flautist's shoulder. He turned away from the window and checked the time. Five-thirteen. His father would be heading home soon. Maybe.

He kicked a canvas and it rattled aside and he frowned.

Behind the canvas were wine and whiskey and vodka bottles lined up along the wall. His eyebrows rose as he crouched on the ground and studied them. Some were open, some were still sealed. One had been filled with dyed sand of all things. He opened a vodka bottle and took a whiff. It smelled familiar. He took a sip. It tasted familiar.

He was halfway through the vodka bottle when his father found him. "What is  _he_  doing here?"

"You'll have to be a bit more specific," Ulrich replied. He leaned against the wall and took a swig from the bottle. "There are two  _he's_  here. Unless one of them left."

His father paced the room, hand massaging his temples. "I cannot control what you do outside of this house, I cannot control how you choose to live, but somewhere inside you is some kind of morality." Ulrich shrugged and thought about how interesting the lights on the ceiling were. He'd never noticed how they sparkled that way. "You…you and that  _boy_. If you choose to risk your soul with  _him_  then fine. I give up. But, I will not have it in this house. I will not have it with your sister around. Do you understand me?"

Ulrich shook his head. "Hell, Annie's fucked guys in here more than I have. You give her this talk too?"

"This is what you do the night before your mother is put to rest? This is how you choose to behave?" he demanded. He grabbed Ulrich by the arm and yanked him upright. "You disgust me."

"Who's really the disgusting one, eh, Father? Did you pay off the coroner or the priest?"

"What are you talking about?" His father's voice was steely, hard and razor sharp. His hand tightened on Ulrich's bicep.

"She shouldn't be buried. Not in hallowed ground anyway." Ulrich tore his arm out of his father's grip. " _It's against our religion_. Remember, you're big on that? Hypocrite." He stumbled past his father but Charles grabbed him by the arm, yanking him back around to face him.

"You don't know what you're saying."

"Don't lie to me. I'm not Annie; I don't believe everything you tell me. Mother killed herself, right? Just another thing to go against your religion."

His father grabbed the vodka bottle from him and hurled it at the wall. It shattered and vodka rained down on the canvases and pooled between the glass shards on the wood floor. "Watch your tongue. I didn't pay off anyone. You sober up or you don't come tomorrow, do you understand?" His father slammed the studio door behind him.

"Understood."

Odd found him an hour later, surrounded by torn canvases with tears streaming down his face and hands bleeding. He clutched a piece of broken bottle and slashed at canvases right and left, kicked over boxes of paints and bottles of turpentine. Spilled salt and watercolor palettes. Hurled brushes and broken frames at the walls.

"Fuck, Ulrich, it's okay," Odd murmured. He grabbed a hopefully clean rag and wrapped it around Ulrich's hand. "It's okay," Odd repeated. He pulled him into a tight embrace. "It's okay."

/

"Adelaide Isabell Stern was a caring mother, devoted wife, and an artistic spirit…" Ulrich tuned out. He shifted from foot to foot and tried to still his roiling stomach. He could sense Odd behind him. Annie stood between him and his father, wringing her hands and sniffling into tissues. His head hurt and he felt nauseous.

The priest continued his sermon.

It was a bright day for a funeral. There were only a few clouds in the sky and the air smelled of mown grass and wildflowers. Ulrich felt sweat drip down the back of his neck. His aunts and uncles and cousins had turned up early that morning and they were gathered around fanning themselves. He didn't know why they bothered coming; he doubted they were in the Will this time.

"…And though she has left us, we rejoice in the memories we have of her. We will remember fondly the time she spent among us. And we will pray to be reunited with her when we too reach Heaven's Gates," the priest finished. "Amen."

"Amen," echoed the crowd.

They began to disperse once the coffin was lowered – the promise of cool refreshments back at the house tempting them away from the lowering casket. "Hey, how you holding up?" Odd murmured.

"Well enough." The crowd had thinned out. He saw Stephan join Annie at the graveside. "I'll be along in a minute, okay? I need some time."

"Yeah, okay." He waited until he was sure Odd had backed off before he moved to stand next to his father beneath a nearby elm tree. The gravediggers were tossing shovelfuls of black dirt onto the casket. He could hear the dull rasp from where he stood. "I'm sorry," he said.

"Are you?" Charles Stern asked. He looked over at his son with raised eyebrows. "For what?"

"What I said about Annie, and mother. I shouldn't have."

His father's eyes narrowed as they watched the grave diggers work, as they watched Annie lean against Stephan. "Whatever you think, Charles, your mother was proud of you. She had her problems, but that was never one of them."

"She was selfish."

Charles looked at him curiously. "Do you honestly believe that?"

Ulrich shrugged. "She never looked beyond her own problems. Did she kill herself?" He watched his father's jaw clench.

"Your mother…died in the process of taking care of her demons herself." Ulrich nodded and leaned against the tree.

"Did you love her?" His father's back stiffened. "Honestly."

"I did," he said finally. "Does it matter?"

"It did," he replied. Stephan's arm wrapped around Annie as she sobbed. Ulrich felt more sweat pool beneath his shirt-and-jacket. He loosened his tie minutely.

"What time does your plane leave?"

"A quarter to four."

Charles checked his watch and nodded. "Better get on to the airport then, don't want to miss it."

"Father-"

"I'll see you in a month, I suppose."

Ulrich frowned, watching the gravediggers work. "Yes, but…it isn't finished yet."

Charles met his eyes briefly. "It is, go on." Ulrich took a hesitant step out from under the tree. "Go on, and don't forget to say goodbye to Hannelore."

"Right, later."

/

Odd waited until they were in the flat. Then he had Ulrich pinned against the front door, leaning down and staring at him. "Are you okay?" he asked, bags dropped at their feet.

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Ulrich snapped. He shoved at Odd's shoulders ineffectively. " _Odd_."

"You were quiet the whole flight back." He hesitated and Ulrich's eyes narrowed. "On the plane you ordered a lot of-"

"I'm thinking about getting a dog," he interrupted. Odd's shock was the chance to get away and he took it. He pushed past Odd and grabbed their bags, carried them up to the second floor to put away.

"Ulrich!" Odd shouted. He pounded up the stairs after him and caught him in the bedroom.

"What is your fascination with pinning me to things?" Ulrich questioned.

"Maybe because I'm finally tall enough to do so," Odd replied with a grin and a wink. Ulrich snorted and sighed as Odd's fingers began to rub the tension from his shoulders. "While I like that thought process, I know you aren't right."

"Would you be?" he challenged. Odd frowned and Ulrich offered a weak smile. "Honest, Odd, I'm just worn out." His hands slipped under Odd's shirt. "I just want to go to bed."

Odd's eyes flickered between passion and worry and Ulrich sighed. He leaned up, kissed Odd. His fingers threaded into the shorter blonde strands, tugged him closer, and deepened the kiss. Odd moaned and his hands tightened on Ulrich's shoulders as he leaned into him. Ulrich tugged at Odd's shirt, pulled it over his head and started leaving a trail of kisses along his shoulders and collarbone.

"Let's go to bed, yeah? I'm tired of thinking. Please, Odd?" he mumbled between kisses.

Odd gasped as Ulrich's hands trailed over his stomach and hips. "Y-yeah. Okay. But we  _will_  talk."

"Mmhm, whatever you say," Ulrich agreed, pushing Odd backwards until they tumbled into the sheets.

/

Later, Ulrich lay awake, his fingers combing through Odd's hair. They drifted down to run along the silver chain until they hit the cold metal of the dog tags hanging from it. He fingered them as he thought of Delmas and his funeral, thought about his mother and her funeral, of his father's words and Annie's accusing stares. He thought of Yumi and Jeremie and Aelita, and Odd who had come to both even though he hadn't really known or cared about either.

"I love you," he whispered into the blonde hair that always managed to tickle his nose no matter the length.

"Love you too," Odd mumbled. His arm tightened around Ulrich's waist. "Go to sleep, I'm exhausted." He yawned against Ulrich's shoulder for emphasis and Ulrich smiled.

"Yeah, okay…but, thank-you." Odd went still in his arms and Ulrich swallowed. "For coming and everything, for being here…still."

Odd propped himself up on an elbow. He leveled his green eyes with Ulrich's brown ones. "Of course," he said. "I'll always be here, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know," Ulrich murmured. He tugged Odd back down for another kiss before wrapping his arms around him again. "I know," he repeated. "Good night."

"Night," Odd replied. Ulrich drifted to sleep while Odd laid awake staring up at the ceiling in the darkness.


	24. Journal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** I don't think there's really anything to warn about this time, maybe some language, and maybe some slight AU.
> 
>  **Rating:** PG
> 
>  **Author's Note:** And here's the next chapter! This one was really hard to write because I debated on doing journal entries, or delving into Sissi stealing his journal, or others thoughts on it or-or-or. I hope this is good for everyone though. Also, I saw _Log Book_ a long time ago and haven't had the chance to rewatch it so I'm not sure if this fits in with it after all (because I can't remember how they find out Sissi has the book). So it may be a little bit AU (but shhh! so are other parts of this story).

_23\. He kept a journal so he wouldn't go crazy._

"What's wrong?" Yumi asked when he sat down.

"What makes you think anything's wrong?" he replied. He poked at the rehydrated potatoes and grimaced.

"You got two chocolate cakes, you usually only sweet talk Rosa into that when you're especially woebegone," Odd informed him. "Unless one of those is for me…"

"Odd!" Yumi snapped. She glowered at the younger boy. "You look…upset," she said finally, turning back to Ulrich.

"I forgot the lab report was due today," he stated. He skipped the potatoes and started in on the cake. Who knew how long he'd be able to fend off Odd's encroaching fork anyway? "No big deal."

Odd gave him an indeterminable look before focusing on his own tray. Yumi nudged his shoulder gently. "Hertz will let you turn it in late, don't worry about it," she said.

"Worry about what?" Jeremie questioned. He took his seat next to Odd and eyed them all blearily behind smudged lenses. "Did something happen, do we need to…?"

"No, Einstein," Odd sighed. "No doom-and-gloom this time, unless you count Ulrich's faulty memory and the black cloud over his hea-  _Ow!_ " he yelped. He rubbed at his shin and glared at Ulrich and Yumi.

"I'm going to go see Hertz," Ulrich stated. He grabbed his bag and stood, hesitated, and then took the other piece of cake with him. He ignored Odd's pout.

/

"Never pegged you as one to keep a diary, Ricky."

Ulrich rolled his eyes and closed the book. He looked up to see Odd peering at him from his bed. "It's a journal."

"It's a diary," Odd corrected. He yawned and stretched. "Writing about your super-secret love for Yumers in there?" he asked.

" _No_ ," Ulrich snapped. He rolled his eyes and slid it into a drawer. "It's none of your business what I'm writing about."

"Come on, I'm your best friend!" Odd protested. He kicked off his shoes, one rolled under his bed and the other landed on the desk chair. Ulrich wouldn't admit that he was impressed.

"That's debatable," Ulrich retorted. Odd's puppy eyes turned into a glower. "I'm going to shower, stay out of my stuff and then  _maybe_  you really are my best friend."

"Whatever," Odd grumbled. He grabbed his laptop and hooked up his camera to it. "Like I need to read more angst about Yumi."

Ulrich made sure to hit him with his towel on the way past, hiding a smile at Odd's annoyed look and messed up hair.

. . … . .

"How could you be so stupid?" Jeremie demanded in a heated whisper. Ulrich scuffed a sneaker along the cobblestones and ignored the urge to say something back. "A  _diary_?"

"It's a journal," Odd interrupted. Ulrich gave him a grateful look. "And so what, he just misplaced it?" Jeremie's mouth opened and closed soundlessly multiple times.

" _Misplaced it_?" he very nearly squealed. His voice lowered when Milly and Tamiya looked over at their little group curiously. "He just  _admitted_  that he wrote about  _sensitive information_  that is sure to mean the factory being disassembled and you-know-what being shut-down permanently if anyone finds and reads it!"

Odd snorted and slung an arm around Ulrich's shoulders. "Einstein, have you ever actually  _seen_  Ulrich's writing? It's terrible. If they can read it they deserve to know about Lyoko. And Nature Boy's not-so-secret crush."

"Shut-up, Odd," Ulrich growled. He shrugged off the arm around his shoulders, face turning red as Yumi joined them.

"What's wrong?" Yumi questioned.

"Ulrich lost his diary," Jeremie answered.

"Journal," Odd and Ulrich corrected. To her credit, she only raised her eyebrows curiously.

"Point is, not only are his secrets up for grabs but so are ours," Jeremie snapped.

Yumi's brow creased in confusion briefly, then her eyes widened. "Oh," she said. Jeremie snorted while Odd managed to pick a few stray chips off Ulrich's tray. "Well, your writing's pretty illegible, no offense, so there shouldn't be much of a problem."

"That's what I was telling them," Odd agreed around a mouthful of food.

"Charming," Ulrich deadpanned. In truth he wasn't that worried. Few people understood his spelling, and over eighty percent of it was in German anyway with the other twenty percent a strange hybrid of French and German. He was sure no one would be able to understand it.

The cafeteria doors opened and he looked up to see Sissi and her followers entering. She gave him a smirk and he almost choked on his water. "Oh, Ulrich-dear," she called as she approached. "Could I talk to you for a moment?"

So maybe there was one person after all.

/

She found him that night on the roof. He had his journal propped up on his knees, pen scratching across the paper. He didn't look up as she crossed the tar-and-gravel floor to sit next to him. She stayed silent until he finished writing and closed the book.

"I didn't really read all of it," she said softly.

"But enough?" he asked.

Sissi's legs stretched out next to him. They almost seemed to glow in the light cast by the full moon. "No," she said finally. "I just wanted to try and understand what was wrong. You've been having problems, Ulrich. And you won't talk to me. I know it has something to do with your  _friends_  and I thought maybe I could help, maybe get you away from them…"

He gave her a dark look and she trailed off into silence again. He watched her chew on a thumbnail. "I'm fine, Elisabeth," he growled. "I just have some things going on in my life that you wouldn't understand."

"Because you won't tell me!" she exclaimed angrily. "If you told me I wouldn't have to-"

"Forget it." He stood, brushed dirt and pebbles from his jeans. "When will you face the fact that we aren't friends anymore, Sissi?" he demanded.

She stood as well, brushed off her skirt, and glared at him through narrow hazel eyes. "You can pretend to everyone else, but remember that I'm the one that knows you best here,  _Charles_. So go and follow Yumi Ishiyama around like a little puppy, and laugh at me with Della Robbia, and do whatever it is you do with Belpois, but remember – we were friends once. And there was a reason for that. You've more in common with me than you might want to admit, Ulrich- _dear_."

"Sissi-"

"I'll find out what you're keeping from me, you can count on it. Because  _I'm_ still  _your_  friend, even if you're not mine." She shoved past him and the roof door slammed shut behind her.

He hoped she hadn't locked him out.

. . … . .

_Mother's b-day F. 1_ _st_ _–_ _ CALL! _

_Mieville's paper do Th._ _ REWRITE _ _. On Camus._

_X.A.N.A. attack_ _ B4 _ _turned n Hertz assign_

Ulrich paused mid-word and set his journal down. Odd was tossing on the bed, snores having given way to muffled groans. He set his iPod aside and got up from his bed. He knew what would follow the groans. Sure enough the screams came when he reached the other bed.

"Odd, Odd, stop it. Odd, you're sleeping," Ulrich stated. He gripped the other boy's shoulders and gave him a good shake. "Odd, you're going to make Jim come by again," he growled.

Odd's eyes cracked open. He yawned and shifted, eyes flickering between Ulrich and the clock on the desk across the room. "Hey, sorry. Snoring again?" he asked.

Ulrich's face relaxed. He nodded. "Yeah, keep it down, okay? I'm about to turn in."

"Yeah, no problem." Odd turned over, bundled in the blankets.

Ulrich returned to his bed. He picked up the journal and opened it to where he'd left off.  _1/9: Odd's nitemare agin._

He flicked off the light, stuffed the journal under the mattress, and drifted off to sleep.

. . … . .

"Hey, I'm sorry I'm late," he panted. Emily looked up from where she was photographing some kind of multihued butterfly.

"Lost track of time?" she asked.

"You could say that," he agreed. She watched him write something down in the journal he always kept with him lately. "What?" he asked, catching the look she was giving him.

"Nothing it's just…it seems to be happening a lot, you know?" she replied. "The time loss stuff. Last week you didn't show up because you thought it was Monday."

"I've had a lot of stuff on my mind lately," he protested. Emily crossed the clearing and leaned against the tree next to him. "I told you I was sorry."

"Does it have to do with Yumi?" she asked, her voice quiet.

"Does what have to do with Yumi?"

"This…this forgetting. Does she not approve of you hanging out with me? Is that why you've been making excuses?"

"They aren't excuses!" he protested. "I mean it; sometimes I just forget what day it is. Ask Hertz, she'll tell you how many assignments I turn in early or late. It's rare that I turn them in when they're actually due." He kicked a stone and it rolled into a shrub.

Emily gave him a long look. At last she shook her head and touched his shoulder. "Then maybe you should get help, Ulrich. You might have a problem."

He couldn't help it, he laughed hard. His shoulders shook and his stomach hurt and tears might have leaked out of his eyes but he felt better afterward. Emily stared at him with wide eyes and he gave her a grin that was supposed to be reassuring (but what was probably closer to lunacy).

"You have no idea, Em," he said. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her through the trees. "Come on, I have a good feeling that we may find some wolves today."

" _Wolves_?" she demanded. "Ulrich, there haven't been wolves around here in  _ages_."

"Yeah, yeah, just keep your camera out," he replied with another smile.

. . … . .

"Do you ever…lose time?" he asked quietly. His eyes focused on the barely illuminated posters taped up on the ceiling above his bed. He heard the rustle of sheets and the squeak of bed springs. He turned over to meet Odd's eyes in the gloom.

"You mean after a Return?" the blonde asked, just as quiet.

"Yeah."

Odd shrugged and propped his head up. "Maybe, sometimes. I don't know; I'm pretty good at keeping track. It's like physics I guess. Linear equations and time discrepancies…do you?"

Ulrich shrugged and let his eyes wander around their room. "Yeah, I do," he admitted.

"That why you keep your journal?" Odd asked. Ulrich nodded. "Does it help?"

"Sometimes, but sometimes I forget we went back in time, forget to adjust it or rewrite it and well…it just gets confusing."

Odd yawned and let his head fall back onto his pillow. "Don't worry so much. It always works itself out. And we won't be doing this forever, once Einstein figures out how to permanently stop X.A.N.A. we'll go back to being normal."

"Right, normal," Ulrich replied. "Good night," he mumbled.

"Night," Odd sighed, already drifting. Ulrich popped in his earplugs and stared up at the ceiling again.

. . … . .

Aelita matched his pace as they jogged around the track. He had to admit he was impressed, he wasn't exactly holding back like usual. The rest of the class was about half a track back, being barked at and egged on by Jim and his bullhorn. "I don't know how you do it," she panted.

"It's pretty easy, I've been running for a while so I built up the stamina," he replied.

She rolled her green eyes and brushed pink bangs out of her eyes. "No, you idiot. I'm not talking about running, I mean the Returns. I've only experienced a handful and I'm already confused. Today's Tuesday right?"

"Monday," he replied with a smile. Aelita groaned and he slowed a little to give her a break. She shot him a grateful look. "It gets confusing," he agreed. "Odd tried to explain it as physics to me once," he added.

"Did it help?"

"Not really. Come on, want some water?"

" _Yes_ ," she sighed. They stopped at the bleachers to get a cup from the small table and jug there. Jim ignored them, hounding Jeremie to pick up his feet. "How do you deal with it then?"

"Trip-by-trip," he admitted. He sipped the water and smirked when he saw Odd's hair deflating from sweat and heat. "I keep a journal," he added quietly.

"I remember." Aelita stretched and then refilled her paper cup. "Does it really help? Doesn't whatever you write in it just erase itself? I was so angry when I had finished that report for Mieville on Victor Hugo and we did a Return and it was  _all_  lost. I had to retype the whole thing."

He chuckled drily. "Yeah, it does. But it still helps. If I write in it every day, with dates and times, then I can keep track of when we Return and what still needs to be redone, know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I know." She groaned as Jim turned his attention on them.

"Stones, Stern! I see you two chitchatting over there, get back on this track and show these slackers what running means!" he bellowed.

"You've just sentenced yourself to a life of athleticism," he warned her when they got back on the track.

"I never thought I'd say this," she muttered, "but I hope X.A.N.A. attacks  _and_  we need a Return."

He laughed hard enough to turn heads and get a stitch in his side.

. . … . .

"Well, that settles it then," Jeremie stated. He twirled a pencil and studied the screen. "No more Returns. We can't risk it, not with the way X.A.N.A.'s manipulating it so he gets more powerful each time…. _what_ , Odd?"

"Just wondering, how do we know X.A.N.A.'s a dude?" Jeremie stared at him incredulously. "It's just that It seems more like a girl, what with the mood-"

"Finish that sentence, Odd. Go on, I dare you," Yumi growled.

"See?" Odd asked. "Ow! Princess!" Aelita hummed and looked innocent. He turned pleading eyes on Ulrich. "Don't you think-?"

"Don't even try and involve me," Ulrich retorted. He leaned around the console to study the screen Jeremie had turned back to. "So this means no more Return trips? Whatever happens, happens and we just go on with our day?"

Jeremie's face pulled together like he'd just bit into a particularly sour lemon. "Yes," he said finally, drawing the word out into three syllables. "I know it's inconvenient, and in a pinch we could do one –  _if we need to_  – but it seems the best course of action for right now."

Ulrich let out a whoop, grabbed Aelita and spun her around. Jeremie's eyes narrowed at him. Odd grinned. Yumi blinked repeatedly, her mouth open in surprise. Aelita laughed as she came to a stop. "Ulrich?" Jeremie asked, ever-so-polite. "Something you want to share?"

"Hm?" He looked up, his cheeks stained red. He released Aelita and shoved his hands in his pockets. "No, I'm fine."

"Seem mighty excited about that," Odd noted.

"Are you okay, Ulrich?" Yumi questioned. She went over to stand next to him, hand on his shoulder and eyes dark and questioning.

"Yeah, I'm great," he replied. "I've got to get back to finish a project." He released Aelita and took the stairs up to the main level two at a time, grinning.

The first thing he did when he got back to the dorm was throw his journal in the bottom of his suitcase.

With any luck he wouldn't need it for a long while.


	25. Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** I don't think there's really anything to warn about this time, maybe some language, and maybe some slight AU.
> 
>  **Rating:** PG
> 
>  **Author's Note:** So this is kind of sporadic, but I hope you all enjoy it. I wanted to do moments of time, and different instances in which Ulrich might regret not being "normal." Again, it's been awhile since I watched _X.A.N.A. Awakens_ so I may have gotten the Sissi-betrayal wrong. And maybe _Holiday in the Fog_ as well. Oops. Let me know what you all think.

_24\. Some days he regretted ever getting involved with Jeremie-Lyoko-X.A.N.A._

"She betrayed us."

Ulrich looked up curiously. "What are you talking about?"

Yumi and Jeremie glared down at him, Odd stood there trying to look intimidating. "Your little girlfriend," Yumi said.

"I don't have a girlfriend."

"Elisabeth Delmas?" Odd asked, voice reproachful. Ulrich frowned.

"She told her father."

"Yeah, before the Return. Everything's been reset now, she doesn't know anything about Lyoko anymore, remember?" Ulrich asked slowly. He eyed each of them carefully, trying to determine if they maybe weren't all there. "She never went to Lyoko so she doesn't remember, right?"

"Right," Jeremie stated. He adjusted his glasses and pulled at his sleeves. "The point is, she betrayed us. We can't trust her."

" _You_ can't trust her," Yumi added quickly.

"None of us can trust her," Jeremie reiterated. He looked hard at Ulrich and Ulrich felt his stomach twist. He knew what was coming. "You'll have to stop interacting with her."

"What?" He stared at Jeremie in shock. "Why?"

"It'll be safer that way. If you blow her off she won't be prone to following you around and discovering the factory," Yumi replied. "It's to keep the secret safe, we discussed it."

"You discussed it?"

"We'll all do it," Jeremie added.

"You're all nuts." He turned to Odd for support but his so-called friend and roommate just shrugged and scuffed a toe along the floor. "Sissi's my friend."

"She can't be trusted," Jeremie repeated. "Lyoko is our secret."

He bit his tongue and glowered at the three of them. "I'll think about it," he snapped. Before they could respond he'd grabbed his bag and headed for class.

/

"I don't agree with them, you know?" Odd asked. "I mean, Sissi's an airhead and an idiot. I doubt she'll take the hint of you blowing her off. You'd need to be more direct."

"Just stop talking," Ulrich groaned. He wondered if it was possible to suffocate under his pillow. Apparently not since the pillow was removed from his face. "What?" he asked.

"You really like her? I was teasing when I told Yumi she was your girlfriend but I dunno…is she?" Odd asked. He peered at Ulrich curiously and Ulrich threw an arm over his face to escape the bright green eyes staring at him. "Ulrich?"

"She's my friend, Odd. Something that may be lost on the three of you."

"We're your friends now too," Odd pointed out. "And at least you know you can trust us with your secrets. Look, they're just paranoid. I'm sure it'll be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month tops. You can apologize and grovel and whatever else you need to do and get back into her favor if you really want to."

Odd flicked Ulrich in the side of the head before bouncing back to his side of the room. "I just didn't think you liked her all that much. You always seemed annoyed with her."

"Like I am with you?"

Odd grinned at him. "Nah, you smile with me. With her you just look confused and like you want to swat a fly or something." He tossed a ball for the mutt to chase. Ulrich reached for his history book. "I'm telling you, a month tops and Einstein will have cracked the code, we'll have rescued the princess, and all of this will be forgotten. You'll see."

. . ... . .

"So who's going to stay behind?" Jeremie questioned. Blank looks met his question and he sighed, adjusting his glasses. "Holiday's coming up soon. Someone needs to stay behind, in case X.A.N.A. attacks. I'll be here but we need someone to go on Lyoko with Aelita."

"Can't," Yumi said. Her face looked apologetic even if she didn't sound it. "I'm going to Japan, remember? The tickets are already booked."

Jeremie turned expectant eyes on the other two boys. Odd shrugged. "I'm heading home too. I already made plans."

"That leaves you," Jeremie said. He looked at Ulrich expectantly.

Ulrich shrugged and leaned against Jeremie's bed, tried to ignore the blonde genius staring at him from the swivel desk chair. "My parents expect me home," he said at last.

"Come on, Ulrich. What if something happens?" Jeremie pressed. "You just went home last break." Ulrich frowned but didn't say anything. "Perfect," Jeremie said. He grinned at them. "One less thing to worry about now."

"Sure," Ulrich grumbled. Odd gave him a curious look while Jeremie detailed his newest plan of action. Whatever it was, Ulrich hoped it could be accomplished  _before_  vacation started in a week.

/

" _You're_ what _?"_  Annie demanded.

"I'm staying here," Ulrich replied. He stared up at the posters tacked to the ceiling and tried to ignore the looks Odd was sending him. Why couldn't his so-called best friend take a hint and _leave_? "At school."

" _But Ulrich…!_ " Annie whined. " _I haven't seen you in forever and we were going to visit Grossmutter and_ you know _she only likes you. And Heidi was planning a cake, that double chocolate one you like. With the chocolate frosting. And Mama was looking forward to seeing-"_

 _"Hannelore, let me speak to your brother,"_  a voice in the background interrupted. Ulrich stiffened as the phone was jostled between hands. " _Boy_."

"Hallo, Papa. Wie geht es dir?" he asked.

His father ignored him. " _Hannelore says you won't be coming home this holiday?"_  Charles questioned.

"I have a project, for history. And a paper for literature," he stated. His voice dropped; even if Odd couldn't understand German (he hoped Odd couldn't understand German). "How is Mother? Will she be-?"

" _Your mother will be just fine. She understands that you need to stay and focus on your studies. You_ will _be focusing_." It wasn't a question. Ulrich nodded even if they couldn't see him. " _I expect better than average._ "

"I understand," he said. "Should I tell Moth-?"

" _Your mother is resting now. I'll tell her tonight. Remember our agreement_."

"I remember. Goodbye, Father."

" _Goodbye_."

"Everything cool?" Odd asked. He looked over the magazine he'd pretended to read throughout the conversation.

"Yeah," Ulrich groaned. He tossed his phone onto the end table. "Let's hope Jer figures this X.A.N.A. thing out before summer holidays because I'm  _not_  staying at school that whole time."

"You and me both," Odd joked. He turned a page in the magazine and Ulrich sighed. At least he wouldn't have to deal with his family this Christmas.

. . … . .

He was awoken by a blood curdling scream. In a daze he rolled out of bed, grabbed the nearest weapon to him (a shoe, thankfully a cleat) and held it aloft. Kiwi gave him an indecipherable dog look and then turned back to licking Odd's arm. His roommate was thrashing back and forth, the covers tangled around his ankles, and screaming.

"What the…?" he grumbled. He dropped the shoe and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, plucked the earplugs from his ears. He wasn't sure what to do. It was storming outside and each flash of lightning illuminated Odd's face in a color just a shade darker than the white walls, his hair matted with sweat. Kiwi turned his head to give him a reproachful stare. "Alright, alright."

He leaned over the bed, grabbed Odd's shoulders and gave him a hard shake. "Odd. Odd!" he yelled. He wondered if he should slap him. He'd seen it in a movie once, but the woman had been awake and hysterical, not asleep and possessed. " _ODD_!" he shouted. His eyes caught sight of the clock. Two-twenty. He was bound to wake someone up.

He hit him in the face and Odd swung back, but he was still out of it and missed by at least a meter. Ulrich stepped back, but Odd was still caught in whatever nightmare had ensnared him. "If it isn't snoring it's screaming," he groaned. He grabbed his half-empty water bottle and dumped the contents on Odd's face.

"Wha-?" Odd spluttered, gasping and wild-eyed. He jerked up and wiped at his face looking confused. "What was that for?" he asked. He jumped at the streak of lightning.

"Well, I had to stop your screaming  _somehow_ ," Ulrich replied. He studied his roommate warily. "You okay?"

"Yeah, duh." There was a banging on their door and Ulrich sighed. "You gonna get it?"

"Sure." He swung the door open while Odd searched for a dry (and clean) shirt to wear. Jim stood panting on the other side. His eyes were bloodshot and he carried a baseball bat. At least it was a better weapon than a cleat. "…Jim?" he asked nervously.

"I heard reports of screaming. You two alright?"

"Odd saw a spider," Ulrich replied, face serious. Jim glanced between the two, eyes narrowed. He could feel Odd's glare directed at the back of his head. "Don't worry, I got it."

"You see any more  _spiders_  you keep quiet, you hear? People are sleeping around here."

"Yes sir," Odd replied. Ulrich could tell something was bothering him because he didn't even make a crack at Jim's polka dot pajama bottoms.

Ulrich shut the door and flipped the lock. When he turned back Odd was changed and petting Kiwi absently. "A spider?" he asked. Ulrich shrugged and sat down on his bed facing Odd. "Thanks. And uh, sorry for waking you."

"Whatever." Odd still looked pale and his hair was curling along his temples from the sweat. "You want to tell me what you were dreaming about?"

"Not really," Odd replied. He plucked at his comforter and winced at the clap of thunder outside. Ulrich's face turned neutral.

"Does this have something to do with the Attack?" he asked gently. "I know you came close to…you know," he said hesitantly. "Jeremie said you might remember the electric current even after the Return."

Odd shrugged. "Yeah well, almost dying does that to you, you know?" he snapped. Immediately he looked apologetic. "Look, it was just a hard day. I didn't expect to be hit with what was it, fifty thousand volts?"

"More or less, when the Return happened," Ulrich agreed. He didn't really want to remember entering the electrical room to see Odd in the process of becoming a living lightning rod.

"Yeah," Odd sighed. "I'm okay, the effects will wear off." He flinched at the lightning and Ulrich nodded, even if he felt skeptical. "Why don't you go to bed, I feel like sketching for a bit."

"You sure?"

"Positive." Ulrich laid down, earplugs set aside on the end table, and watched Odd pull out his sketchpad and a worn charcoal pencil. He dozed off to the rumble of thunder overshadowed by the scratch-scratch of the pencil.

In the morning he got an extra coffee and handed it to Odd silently.

. . … . .

"Hey," Emily greeted him. She offered him a bright smile as she climbed the bleachers to sit next to him. He gave her a brief smile in response. "I've been looking for you."

"Oh yeah?" he asked curiously. Emily handed him a flier and he frowned at it. "What's this?  _L'orchestre d'hiver_?"

"The winter concert," she replied. "I have a solo." Her face turned red and she shoved her gloved hands between her knees. "I have an extra ticket, you're coming, right?"

He grinned at her. "Of course. What are you playing?"

"You'll just have to see." She stood and brushed off her jeans. "I have to go; we have rehearsal now until Friday. I'll see you later."

"Later, Em." He folded the paper and stashed it in his jacket pocket.

/

"Where are you going?" Aelita asked when the scanner doors opened with a hiss.

"I'm late!" he shouted, racing out of the scanner room.

"Late for what?" Aelita called after him. Odd shrugged before chasing after him. " _Boys_ ," she groaned. She headed for the supercomputer where Yumi was sitting with Jeremie, looking at the screen.

"Where are Odd and Ulrich?" Jeremie asked.

"Don't know, they took off as soon as the scanners opened." Yumi frowned. "What are you looking at?"

/

"So where are we running to?" Odd panted. He'd caught up to Ulrich on the bridge.

"I told Emily I'd see her perform at the concert tonight," Ulrich replied. He checked the time on his phone again and groaned. He was  _so_ late.

"Oh, really?" Odd asked. Ulrich chanced a look at him as they ran along the forest paths. The blonde's face was thoughtful and peculiar, his forehead creased and lips pressed into a thin line even though they were running full out. "So you and Emily…?"

"What? No, just friends." Ulrich shook his head as they tore across the back fields. "Why would you ask that?"

"Dunno," Odd said, but his face said something else. Ulrich just didn't have time to puzle out what it was.

He arrived at the auditorium just as everyone was leaving. Odd hung back at the entrance while he went in, pressing against the push of the crowd. He saw Emily in the lobby. She was in a black dress, her hair pinned up by sparkling clips. She looked over at him and her eyes looked sad.

"Em…"

"Hey," she said. "I'll catch up with you outside, okay, Kate?"

"Yeah, sure," the blonde girl next to her said. She squeezed Emily's hand before following the crowd through the open doors.

"You missed a great rendition of Carol of the Bells and Mozart," she said dully.

"I'm so sorry, Emily," he said. "Something came up and I had to-"

Emily's smile didn't reach her eyes. "I know, Ulrich. Something always comes up. It's okay. Maybe the spring performance, yeah?"

"Emily-"

Her smile wavered and she lifted her violin a little higher. "I'll see you later."

"Em!" he yelled, following her outdoors. She had joined Kate on the front steps and she looked back at him briefly. Other students and adults looked at him curiously as well. "I really am sorry," he said, quieter. "I'm sure you were great."

"She was," Kate stated. "Come on, Em. Let's celebrate a performance well done."

Emily hung back briefly and smiled a little brighter at Ulrich. "It's okay, Ulrich. I'll see you Sunday, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." He watched her walk off with Kate, laughing at something she said.

"You sure there's nothing between you two?" Odd asked, coming to stand next to him.

"Yeah," he said irritably. "Unless you count me bailing on her once again."

Odd shrugged and attempted to fix his hair. "Well, that's the price of saving the world, you know?" Ulrich frowned and crossed his arms. Odd sighed. "Come on, Nature Boy. I need to feed Kiwi still and you have to finish that project for Arends. There'll be other concerts."

"Yeah, I know," he sighed. He fell into step with Odd.

. . … . .

"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if we hadn't of found Lyoko?" Yumi asked them, at the end. They sat around the terminated super computer for the last time and ate crisps and cakes and candy.

"I wouldn't be here," Aelita said simply. Her fingers twisted strands of blonde hair into tiny braids along her face.

"We wouldn't be friends," Jeremie replied. He popped a few candies into his mouth.

"Wouldn't have gotten the best cousin in the world," Odd joked. Aelita laughed and threw one of Jeremie's candies at him. He caught it in his mouth, crunched loudly on the hard shell. "Thanks, Princess."

"We would have been normal," Ulrich said simply. He leaned back against the wall and watched the others.

"Eh, where's the fun in being normal anyway?" Odd asked.

"Normalcy is desired by many-" Jeremie began.

Odd rolled his eyes and Aelita stifled a smile. "What do you think, Yumers?" he asked with a grin.

Yumi glared at the nickname and drew shapes in the dust covering the ground. "Before, I wished we hadn't. But I'm glad we did." She smiled at Aelita. "At least now I'm not the only girl."

" _You're a girl_?" Odd gasped, hand clutching at his chest. Yumi whacked him and Ulrich snorted.

"You asked for that one," he stated. He leaned around Odd to get at the cake. "What's the point of wondering anyway?" he asked. "It doesn't change anything, unless we Return to before we found it and just actively decide not to look for it."

"Exactly!" Jeremie agreed. "Here's to us, and the excellent job everyone's done through the years." He held his water bottle up in salute.

"To us!" Odd agreed, nearly spilling his in his haste to make the toast.

"To us!" Aelita smiled and lifted her bottle as well.

"To all of us," Yumi stated quietly, and he got the feeling she was including those who were absent. Franz Hopper and William Dunbar and everyone else who had helped them defeat X.A.N.A. and unlock Lyoko's secrets.

Ulrich met Yumi's eyes and offered her a small smile. "To us," he agreed. Yumi relaxed, smiling.

He didn't resent it anymore, he'd discovered, being involved in Jeremie's quest to rescue Aelita. Not like Yumi did now anyway. He'd made friends, he'd had adventures, he'd given up normalcy but he liked to think he gained a Greater Purpose or some other nonsense. And, most importantly, they had succeeded and rescued Aelita.

But, sometimes when he did think about it, he realized that he was still kind of jealous that Sissi got out when she did.


	26. Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Slash, kissing, underage drinking, truth or dare, cursing.
> 
>  
> 
> **Rating:** PG-15
> 
>  
> 
> **Author's Note:** I rewrote the ending three times. And the beginning four. And yeah...I'm not sure if it was for plot purposes (since it mostly stayed the same) or just because this is the end and I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet. 
> 
> I've decided on doing Yumi's List next, and I have the lists written out for Jeremie, Sissi, Aelita, and Odd already as well. I will be posting when I have free time, so I hope you'll check out Yumi's as well.
> 
> Thank you again, and enjoy.

_25\. It took four accidental kisses for Ulrich to realize he and Odd were not-just-friends but maybe-possibly-legitimately-dating._

"Alright, can we start?" Ulrich asked, already feeling the dread settle in. He wasn't sure why Aelita was so set on playing such a stupid game. He blamed whatever movie she and Odd had watched last night. He'd found over the years that it was always a safe bet to blame Odd. "The sooner we begin the sooner we finish."

"All right," Odd agreed. "Go ahead, Princess. Since this is your idea you can start it."

Aelita grinned, and in that moment Ulrich found that she looked a little too much like Odd in one of his manic phases to be comforting. Her eyes scanned them and settled on Yumi. Her smile widened and Ulrich wondered if Odd's insanity was catching after all.

"Yumi," she said. "Truth or dare."

Yumi shrugged and didn't look worried. "Truth," she said.

Aelita's smile grew and Ulrich felt uneasy. Maybe she and Odd had planned this whole thing out the night before, he wouldn't be surprised. Wordlessly, Odd offered him the bag of crisps. He took a handful and waited for Aelita to decide on a question. He leaned into Odd.

"Did you plan this?" he hissed. "You and Aelita, last night?"

Odd smiled at him. "You give me too much credit," he whispered back. He smirked and batted his eyes. "I'm flattered you think so highly of my persuasive skills."

Ulrich was about to retort when Aelita suddenly sat up, eyes bright and dancing. "Alright. Who was your first kiss?"

Yumi smiled. "His name was Kaito. We dated before I moved here."

"Was he cute?" Aelita asked.

"Very," Yumi replied. Her eyes looked far away and then she shook her head and her smile slipped away. "Okay, Jer. Truth or dare?"

Jeremie looked like he wanted to ask for a third option. He hesitated and Ulrich could practically hear the wheels turning as Jeremie analyzed the possible downfall of choosing either. Apparently Odd could too. " _Einstein_!" Odd snapped.

"Yes, yes," Jeremie sighed. He took a deep breath. "Truth." As soon as the word was out he looked like he wanted to retract it.

"Is it true you kissed Lea Abel two years ago?" she asked.

Jeremie blushed and spluttered. " _No_ ," he said. "No," he repeated, looking at Aelita this time. Aelita raised an eyebrow curiously. Ulrich sighed; it was going to be a long game.

/

"Einstein!" Odd declared twenty minutes and fifteen questions into the game. "Truth or dare?"

"Why me?" Jeremie groaned. "Dare."

Odd looked gleeful. "I dare  _you_  to leave Hertz a letter professing your undying love for her. You can even explain how her use of scientific words makes you all hot and-"

"I think he gets it," Ulrich interrupted. "Look, you're making him turn green."

"I think  _I'm_  going to be sick," Yumi announced. She stared at Odd incredulously. "That's disturbing."

Aelita patted Jeremie's arm consolingly. "It's okay, Jeremie. You don't have to say it was from you."

" _Uhhhh,_ " he moaned.

"I think you broke Jer, Odd," Ulrich said.

"It was bound to happen someday," Yumi sighed.

Odd shrugged. "Come on, Einstein. Your turn."

"Ulrich," Jeremie groaned.

"Truth," he said after a moment. Odd looked surprised and he didn't blame him. After all he'd been picking dare all night, but if he was being honest he was a little afraid of what Jeremie would come up with after a dare like that.

Jeremie looked surprised as well. "Uh, yes," Jeremie said. He adjusted his glasses. "Very well, uh, who would you rather date: Emily or Sissi?"

Ulrich shrugged and ignored Yumi and Odd's curious looks. "Neither," he said. "They're my friends."

"So was Yumi," Aelita pointed out. "And besides us you're always with them."

"Yeah, well…Emily's not interested and Sissi-"

"Is definitely interested," Odd stated.

"But she knows it won't happen," Ulrich added, an edge to his voice. Odd shrugged and dropped it.

Yumi frowned. "You've kissed Sissi though, multiple times."

"Yeah, because of Lyoko," Ulrich retorted. "Look, the answer is neither, let's move on. Odd, truth or dare?"

"Hm? Uh…Truth."

"How many people have you dated?"

Odd frowned and Ulrich knew he'd caught the meaning. "Seriously?" Ulrich nodded. "Uh," silently he ticked off names on his fingers. "Maybe six? But I've gone out with more, obviously." He flashed a grin and Ulrich laughed, elbowing him.

"Charming," Yumi stated. "You're a regular Casanova."

"Aelita," Odd announced, ignoring Yumi.

Aelita smiled. "Dare," she replied, eyes challenging.

Odd grinned back at her. "I dare you to tell Pauline you were the one who put the dye in the conditioner."

Aelita's smile faded. "Uh-uh," she said quickly. "No way. She's frightening. Can't I tell Marie?"

"No, Pauline." Ulrich raised his eyebrows questioningly. He hadn't met Odd's sisters yet but he'd heard enough stories to have a vague idea of who they were talking about.

"You hate me, don't you?" she grumbled. "Fine. Odd, truth or dare?"

"You can't do that!" Odd protested.

"Nothing says she can't," Jeremie replied.

"Fine, dare." He smirked at Aelita.

She looked gleeful. "I dare you to kiss Ulrich."

" _What_?" Ulrich wasn't sure whose voice was louder out of the three others that had joined his disbelieved one.

"You heard me. This'll teach you to sic Pauline on me." She settled back against Jeremie's side and smiled innocently at Odd.

"Don't I have a say in this?" Ulrich protested.

"Insinuating I'm a bad kisser?" Odd joked. He looked at Aelita though. "Is this really the worst you could come up with? I don't really think Ulrich equals Pauline."

"Then consider it a favor if you think I could have made it worse."

Ulrich began to open his mouth in order to offer one last protest when Odd leaned in and kissed him. It was chaste, but not necessarily brief. Ulrich found himself pressing back automatically. He pulled away almost as soon as he realized it. Almost. Odd looked at him warily, and then smiled at whatever it was he saw on Ulrich's face.

"See, not that bad, right? Princess needs to work on her revenge," he laughed. Ulrich offered a slight smile in return. The others were silent and he looked at them. Jeremie appeared shocked, Yumi looked curious, and Aelita had a small smile on her face that he couldn't identify. "Okay, okay, my turn now. Let's see who would be a good victim er contestant? Einstein!" Odd bellowed.

Ulrich found himself tuning out, watching Odd out of the corner of his eye.

. . … . .

He sat in the murky glow of the woods, legs stretched out on the crackling leaves and broken twigs. Overhead tree branches crisscrossed to block out the sunlight. It fit his mood, he decided. He was quite possibly borderline depressed, very confused, and had developed a disturbing propensity to drown out the world in bottles of Jim's secret stash of Russian vodka.

He was fifteen.

He watched as dust motes swirled in the air, listened to footsteps draw nearer on cracking twigs and rustled leaves. They were heavy, slow, methodical – not the sound of a wild animal but a someone searching. Odd appeared, frowning at him through disapproving eyes. Damn, Ulrich thought and took another long pull of the bottle. It didn't taste as good now, he noted.

"Drowning your sorrows or marinating your liver?" Odd questioned. His voice was dry, his jaw clenched. Ulrich shrugged and looked back at the dancing dust motes. They were easier to look at. They didn't judge. "Jim sent me to find you. You missed practice. Again." He felt a pang at that, he didn't want to disappoint Jim.

"Yeah, well…" he trailed off, not sure where he was going with that. His head collided with the rough bark of the oak tree behind him. "How'd you find me?"

Odd gave a long suffering sigh and sat down next to him. "Wasn't easy," Odd said. "But I think I know you well enough by now," he added. Ulrich nodded, not arguing with him. "Spend more time with Adolf?" he asked.

"Odd…" he groaned. His head landed on Odd's shoulder though and he didn't shy away from the hand that came up to rub his back awkwardly. They sat in silence punctuated by fading birdsong as the sun sank behind the trees. He thought about telling him that his shoulder was really comfortable. "He's right, you know?" he said instead.

"I doubt that," Odd replied.

"It is my fault Annie was in that accident."

"God, Ulrich, it wasn't like you crashed the train," Odd snapped. His hand stilled but he didn't move away. "You tried to stop it."

"But if X.A.N.A. wasn't around then the train wouldn't have gotten hijacked and Annie would-"

"Yeah, well, X.A.N.A. exists so stop worrying about all the what-ifs. It's not going to change anything."

"You don't understand," Ulrich snapped back. "We were just starting to talk again and now…" he trailed off.

"I don't know why you even want to talk to that man." Ulrich remained silent and Odd sighed, reaching over and taking the bottle out of his hands. "Aelita said you were still drinking," he added. "I thought you said you were going to stop?"

"Guess it's in my blood. Another disap-"

Odd gripped his shoulder and he grunted, looking at him. "Don't you dare even finish thinking that thought," Odd growled. "You aren't a disappointment. You've had a rough year, so what? We all have. Get over it. You'll win the next match, Annie'll get better, your dad will find something else to bitch about, and we'll kick X.A.N.A.'s digital ass again all the way to the digital sea. Got it?"

Ulrich smiled a little. "Yeah, I got it." He reached for the bottle.

"Uh-uh," Odd said. He held it out of reach. "You've had more than enough; even your eyes are swimming."

"Odd."

"No." Odd shook his head vigorously and moved it out of reach again. "Come on, it's almost dinner time." He stood and offered Ulrich a hand up.

"I'm not hungry."

"Well I am. And I'm going to be the great friend I am and not leave you out here all night. Come on you idiot." He grabbed Ulrich's arm and yanked him up. The sudden shift made his head spin and his legs weren't as steady as he anticipated. He stumbled and Odd caught him, muttered, "shit" not quite under his breath. And then their lips were touching and they both froze.

Shit, shit, shit, he thought. Ulrich was acutely aware of the feel of Odd's shirt under his hands, the way the fabric wove together and covered subtly muscled arms. The smell of Odd's soap and the "ocean" scented shampoo Ulrich liked to tease him about. Odd pulled away first, eyes wide and startled.

"So, dinner, right?" Ulrich asked. He didn't want to see the shocked look on Odd's face anymore. He took a tottering step toward the school. Odd tightened his grip around his waist to keep him upright.

"Yeah. Dinner," Odd replied. "I'm famished." They stumbled down the path and Ulrich let himself be lead even if his legs didn't feel like jelly anymore. It wouldn't hurt to play up the drunken idiot, would it? "How much did you drink anyway?" he asked.

"A lot," Ulrich lied. What he meant was, not fucking enough.

. . … . .

The sky was low and grey. It had been threatening rain and slush all week. Ulrich looked back at the field and wiped the sweat off his forehead with a shirtsleeve. Aelita grinned at him, her foot poised on the football. Next to him Yumi muttered something and tied her hair up again. Odd called taunts from behind Aelita, grinning beneath the dirt from his last face plant. Jeremie sat on the stands, safely away from flying dirt and angry feet. He'd volunteered to keep score the second scrimmage match had been announced.

There was a rumble and Odd looked up at the sky warily. "Last one, okay guys? Whoever makes it in wins."

"Then what was the point of keeping score?" Jeremie called from the bleachers.

"To give you something to do!" Ulrich called back. Aelita shook her head and Yumi snorted. "Ready?"

"Ready," Yumi confirmed, knees bent and eyes on the black and white ball.

"Real funny guys," Jeremie called over the next rumble. "I'm going in before I get soaked." He climbed down from the bleachers and headed toward the covered sidewalk.

"Maybe we should stop…" Aelita said, eyes darting up at the low clouds.

"Nah," Odd replied. "One last shot and then you can hit the showers, Princess. Come on, we've got this."

Yumi counted down like always and they fell into step. Aelita kicked the ball back, Odd picking it up and darting around Yumi. Ulrich lunged and managed to toe the ball out from under his roommate. Yumi got it under her feet and took off for the goal. Odd frowned at him and Ulrich grinned as he dashed past him to intercept Aelita.

He hit the grass hard, grunting.

Odd smirked at him before chasing after Yumi. "Cheater!" Ulrich hollered after him. His knee was cut and he could feel the blood dripping down his shin and calf. Perfect. He caught up to Aelita and nudged the ball away from her. Odd picked it up and then lost it to Yumi.

The skies opened up and rain poured heavily on them, the clouds groaning and complaining overhead. Aelita shrieked as the cold water hit her. It was raining hard enough to distort the surroundings and Yumi slipped in a fresh mud puddle, crashed into Aelita, and they both fell laughing to the ground.

"This is insane; we'll just use Jeremie's scores!" Aelita called. "Come on, I'm freezing!"

"Ulrich?" Yumi added. She helped Aelita to her feet and looked around.

"I'll be right there, I need to get the ball!" he called back.

Yumi and Aelita made their way to the safety of the sidewalk and the overhang. Odd shivered and looked at him. "Leave it, we'll come back after it's stopped!" he yelled over the rumble. Ulrich shook his head, searching for the ball in the gloom. He couldn't leave it. "Jim'll understand!"

"It's mine, not Jim's!" he called back. "Annie got it for me."

"What I do for you," Odd groaned. He fell in to step next to him. "I deserve an award, you know?"

"Yeah, yeah, you're completely underappreciated," Ulrich replied. He hid a smile by looking in another direction. "Odd, if it's too much you don't have to-"

"So long as there's no lightning I'm good," Odd interrupted. His tone was upbeat but Ulrich would bet good money that if he looked at him he'd see a different story on his face. "There!" Odd cried. He pointed toward the trees. "Damn, Yumers sure can kick."

"Yeah," Ulrich replied, voice far away. He knew just how hard she could kick.

He jogged over to the ball, Odd keeping pace with him. He was bending to retrieve it when the sky lit up from a three-prong bolt and Odd jumped, slipping in the mud and managing to knock him to the ground as well.

"Told you to go in," he chided. Odd's eyes darted from his face to the sky and back and Ulrich frowned. He shifted and felt Odd's cold fingers tighten on his arm. He felt his face soften. "Hey, you okay? Let's go inside, it's just a little lightning." He stood and offered his hand to his best friend. "Odd?"

"Yeah, thanks." The blonde took his hand and then yanked him back down. Ulrich grunted as his injured knee hit the ground again. "That's for making it sound like I'm some wilting flower," Odd laughed. His eyes still darted around nervously though and Ulrich rolled his eyes.

"Maybe because you are." He tried to detangle himself from Odd and then paused. Odd's eyes met his and his eyebrows rose questioningly. He had mud on his nose. "You have mud on your nose," he stated.

"Yeah well you aren't exactly pristine either," Odd retorted.

His eyes were lighter though, not as nervous and Ulrich felt himself smile. He wasn't sure who did it, or how it happened, but suddenly his lips were against Odd's and Odd's fingers were tight around his wrist. Odd pressed against him and Ulrich's breath hitched and his hands tightened into fists around mud and grass and strands of blonde hair.

A flash of lightning lit up the sky just as thunder filled the air. Odd pulled away with a gasp. "Fuck," Odd said. He was on his feet before Ulrich could say anything. "Come on, I don't want to be hit by lightning again." He took off toward the overhang.

"Fuck," Ulrich agreed. He wondered when his life had turned into a clichéd plot from one of those novels Sissi loved and Annie claimed to hate. He grabbed the ball and followed, half-expecting to see Odd gone already. To his surprise Odd was waiting for him under the overhang, hair in dirty tangles and clothes covered in mud. Ulrich was sure he didn't look much better. A look he couldn't place crossed Odd's face. "You waited?"

Odd looked surprised. "Of course. Come on, I'm freezing. The girls already abandoned us." He wrung his shirt out as they walked. "I think it's safe to say we won."

"Huh? Why?" Ulrich asked, not really paying attention. He wondered if he'd missed something.

"Because Einstein only ever pays attention to Princess. I bet he didn't even mark your goals down." He laughed and began to squeeze the water from his hair. Ulrich stared at him in shock. He couldn't believe Odd was talking about football after what had just happened. "And you wondered why I teamed up with Aelita!"

"Fuck," Ulrich muttered with a groan.

Odd flashed him a grin. "Yep, you're screwed," he stated.

. . … . .

Odd whooped as he entered the dorm room. Ulrich glanced up curiously in time for Odd to bounce onto the bed next to him. "Jim's back. Isn't he?" he asked, staring at the box in Ulrich's hands.

"Yes," Ulrich replied. He set the box down on the bed. "Why?"

"He brought us back chocolates again!" Odd exclaimed. He pouted when Ulrich grabbed the box again.

Ulrich smirked and moved the chocolates out of Odd's reach. "What makes you think you're getting any?"

"Haven't you learned yet? What's yours is mine," Odd scoffed. He reached over Ulrich for one and Ulrich shook his head when he nearly overbalanced. "Come on, just one?"

"You said that last time and ate all  _but_  one," Ulrich replied. He leaned back, moving the chocolates away.

"You exaggerate," Odd protested. He leaned farther. "Come on, Ulrich." Ulrich rolled his eyes and then grunted when Odd fell on him.

"Graceful as ever," he teased.

"Shut-up," Odd replied. His face was red and he glowered up at Ulrich. "You're laughing at my hunger weakness."

"Odd! We just had lunch two hours ago!" Ulrich laughed. The bed dipped as Odd maneuvered around, trying to find a way to sit up and reach the chocolates.

"Well, that was two hours ago. Hoarder." Odd sat up and looked like a dog that had just been kicked. It was the same look Kiwi was prone to give Ulrich when he didn't drop everything to play tug of war with him.

"Here," he said. He grabbed the box and offered it to Odd. "I asked Jim to bring them back for you anyway."

Odd grinned and engulfed him in a hug. Their mouths connected and well…Ulrich was kind of use to it by now to be honest. Odd pulled back, looking unfazed, and grinned wider at him. "Thank you!" he exclaimed, leaning against Ulrich. He ripped the lid off and plucked one of the chocolates out. "Mm…" Odd sighed as he bit into it.

"You make that sound so wrong," Ulrich laughed. He nudged Odd. "Do I get one?"

"Course," he replied. He offered the box to him and sighed. "Mm, so good." He dug through the box again. "You're too good to me, these are delicious."

"Yeah," Ulrich mumbled. He wondered if it was possible to date someone without realizing it. "Odd?"

"Yeah?" Odd asked, already reaching for his fifth or sixth piece.

He shifted so he could look at Odd, could gauge his reaction. "We're uh…we're not friends, are we?" he asked slowly.

Odd frowned and started to pull away. "What, don't you kiss all your friends?" Odd laughed. "Yumi, Sissi, me…Emily?"

"Odd."

Odd met his eyes. "Do you want to be?" he asked. "Because seemed like you wanted to and well, these past few months and before that and…" Odd trailed off. Ulrich kept ahold of his shoulders so he didn't retreat completely. "Well, was I wrong?" Odd asked, a glint to his eyes.

"Nope," Ulrich replied.

He cut off Odd's smile by kissing him. Odd's arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer and he pressed him to the wall and bed. Odd groaned, whether from the uncomfortable position or the kiss, Ulrich didn't know. He could feel Odd's smile and he smiled in return. Odd's mouth opened and he sighed, felt the tension seep out of his body.

The alarm on his phone went off and he pulled away cursing. Odd gave him a crooked smile and kissed him briefly again. "Practice," Odd guessed.

"Yeah…" He turned off the alarm and looked back to Odd. "I can skip…"

"Don't, Jim'll only get suspicious or send someone to look for you," Odd replied. He pushed himself up into a more comfortable position. "Go on, I'll be here when you get back. The chocolates might not, but I will be?"

Ulrich hesitated, pulling his shoes on slowly. "Promise?" he asked.

Odd snorted and hit him in the shoulder. "Yes you girl. I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I'll be right here."

Ulrich grinned as Odd pulled him in for another mind numbing kiss. All tongues and teeth and hands in hair. He groaned as Odd pushed him away, a smile in place and a glint in the green eyes he'd come to love.

" _Go_ ," Odd ordered with another push.

"I'm going," he snapped. He got up, grabbed his bag, and flung open the door. "Leave me some chocolates."

"No promises."

Ulrich gave him a subpar glare and Odd stuck his tongue out. He rolled his eyes and let the smile break free. He didn't stop smiling all the way to the field, even when Jim barked at him to get his head out of the clouds.

He still only got one chocolate though.

But it was worth it.


End file.
